"What we do in life, echoes in eternity" - Maximus in "Gladiator"

When i read Mela's post extolling on how screwed up the life of a lawyer can be, i realised that lawyers don't have it all to themselves. We engineers are pretty screwed up too.

We aren't exactly normal people. When we confess our profession, people usually run or commit suicide rather than talk to us. If somehow we manage to sneak our way into a conversation because we are so desperate for human company, woe betide anyone who introduces a topic even remotely related to engineering.

For example. An innocent comment on cars will start us explaining on how the engine works and whats the difference between a turbocharger and a supercharger/compressor.

A simple remark on a particular condominium on sale will start us asking how many units does it have and if a substation is provided and if a water tank is needed.

Even a careless discussion on sex will start us calculating on how much friction a body generates when doing the horizontal tango, and given the diameter, how much volume a woman's bosom would approximate.

When normal men look at attractive women, they mentally undress them. When we engineers see a building or machinery, we mentally undress the building/machinery to its details/components to see if it has been done right.

And that is also why there is a profession called Architects. If the shape of the building was left to us engineers, you will end up with a very ugly block of concrete and steel structure hardly worthy of note. Architects slap our fidgety hands out of the design area, issue a stern warning to us, leaving us sulking and pouting, and make the building look like its floating on air, blend in with the landscape or make it so outstanding that every passerby will stop and gawk thereby increasing vehicular accident rates.

And when we check our calculations, we always use a worst-case scenario. We always use big numbers and round-up our figures. That way, we are prepared for the worst. Oh and to be further protected, we multiply a safety factor of 10 to the final number as well. Cautious? That would be a gross understatement. And thats another reason why, in my opinion, true engineers are not good investors. We just don't take risks. :p

We engineers are losers and homebodies. You don't see us at gatherings because no one wants to invite an antisocial creature and ruin the party. You don't see engineers at clubs and pubs because we don't want to cause a mass hysteria or deaths by turning up.

Engineers are not 'hip'. Engineers are not 'in'. Engineers are not 'cool'. Engineers are not 'wicked', or whatever new words you use these days.

Yes. I am well aware. I'm an engineer, albeit a eight-month old one. So what? Doesn't mean i can't bad-mouth my own profession. Nobody has complete monopoly on idiocy, you know.

"The hand that moves unseen, cloaked by the velvet glove of diplomacy." - "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb

I can't seem to make up my mind on something. Its been bugging me these days. Maybe you guys can help me out on this one.

Which is more ludicrous?

1. In America, there is a Professional Rock Paper Scissors Association. And there are even people who are actual professional rock paper scissors players. They even have tactics like 'The Toolbox', which is playing scissors all the way. Ain't that nice? The game we all played as kids is now turning into a Professional Losers-Who-Give-Humanity-A-Bad-Name Association. Great. Another childhood game down the drain.
2. Paris Hilton gets a 50% discount on her jail sentence for violating probation, and even gets special treatment and a 'special' room during her jail term. Has anyone told her that the jail bit is not part of her reality-tv show? Or has someone pass the legislation that big-names are above the law, while i wasn't looking?
3. The F1 that is going to be held in Singapore, has a profit cap. But before you burst into spontaneous cheer and applause, the portion that is above the profit cap, will be going to the gah-men. Since when do gah-men-s meddle in the affairs of the private sector? And why do they deserve this portion? The whole event is going to be run by private companies, as far as i can tell.
4. Some people seem to think that homosexuality is a genetic thing, and others seem to think that if that is the price for creativity and spontaneity, then they are willing to let it go. In my opinion, the first set of people are treating homosexuality as some kind of hereditary disease or deformity, and that the second set of people are treating it like some kind of passing fad. WHAT RUBBISH!!! Homosexuality is a free-will choice. To say that it is a genetic thing, is the same as saying that people liking the color 'blue' are genetic as well. *sarcasm* So if i dun like the color 'blue', then i shall set a law criminalizing people who like the color 'blue'. What the fark?!
5. In the eight months that i have working, i have stepped on dog poo once and have worms dropping on me twice. Yes. I know. I'm so lucky i should go buy Toto. Sighz.

I know, i know. Its a difficult choice, isn't it? I'm more inclined to go for Option Five, if i'm honest. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Three

Gentlemen. After three weeks of stalemate, the enemy has struck.

I am ashamed to report that we have grown conceited and complacent. We thought that we have won the war. We thought that the enemy has fled. We thought that victory was ours. But we were wrong.

We had conquered and settled into the Coast-of-Jogging. Sit-up Town was ours and victory at the City-of-Pullups didn't seem far off. But after three weeks, the enemy struck back with unexpected ferocity and speed.

Flabby-Thighs burst through our front lines and we were hard-pressed from losing the Coast-of-Jogging. Spare-Tire-Tummy and Weaks-Arms have used the much dreaded Lethargy-Artillery to rain heavy shells on us. In addition, their Excuses-Shock-Troops and Lazy-Armored-Formation has laid seige on us. Our troops are hard-pressed to keep them away from Situp-Town and the City-of-Pullups.

As of now, the situation seems bleak. The battle hangs in the balance and i assure you that we are doing our best to regain our ground.

We cannot lose to the enemy.

We will be victorious.

"A man's silence is wonderful to listen to." - Thomas Hardy

Sat in front of the computer monitor.

Fingers poised above the glowing keyboard.

Thinking deeply and searching for inspiration.

Nothing came.

Sigh.

Not today.