"The hand that moves unseen, cloaked by the velvet glove of diplomacy." - "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb

I can't seem to make up my mind on something. Its been bugging me these days. Maybe you guys can help me out on this one.

Which is more ludicrous?

1. In America, there is a Professional Rock Paper Scissors Association. And there are even people who are actual professional rock paper scissors players. They even have tactics like 'The Toolbox', which is playing scissors all the way. Ain't that nice? The game we all played as kids is now turning into a Professional Losers-Who-Give-Humanity-A-Bad-Name Association. Great. Another childhood game down the drain.
2. Paris Hilton gets a 50% discount on her jail sentence for violating probation, and even gets special treatment and a 'special' room during her jail term. Has anyone told her that the jail bit is not part of her reality-tv show? Or has someone pass the legislation that big-names are above the law, while i wasn't looking?
3. The F1 that is going to be held in Singapore, has a profit cap. But before you burst into spontaneous cheer and applause, the portion that is above the profit cap, will be going to the gah-men. Since when do gah-men-s meddle in the affairs of the private sector? And why do they deserve this portion? The whole event is going to be run by private companies, as far as i can tell.
4. Some people seem to think that homosexuality is a genetic thing, and others seem to think that if that is the price for creativity and spontaneity, then they are willing to let it go. In my opinion, the first set of people are treating homosexuality as some kind of hereditary disease or deformity, and that the second set of people are treating it like some kind of passing fad. WHAT RUBBISH!!! Homosexuality is a free-will choice. To say that it is a genetic thing, is the same as saying that people liking the color 'blue' are genetic as well. *sarcasm* So if i dun like the color 'blue', then i shall set a law criminalizing people who like the color 'blue'. What the fark?!
5. In the eight months that i have working, i have stepped on dog poo once and have worms dropping on me twice. Yes. I know. I'm so lucky i should go buy Toto. Sighz.

I know, i know. Its a difficult choice, isn't it? I'm more inclined to go for Option Five, if i'm honest. (-.-)