Boring Bits of Stuffy Science

Allow me a momentary indulgence. I would like to explore/share something which has endlessly fascinated me. That something is called 'time'.

In school, we learn about length and breadth, like in a square or a rectangle. Length and breadth are known as the two dimensions, or 2-D for short.

Most of us might know the third dimension: height. So using the same analogy of a square, a cube is a three-dimensional square. It has length, breadth and height. We live in a three-dimensional world because we see length, breadth and height everyday.

Now, what most of us might not know, is there exists a fourth dimension: Time.

This fourth dimension is rather fascinating. We live from moment to moment, second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour. But if we manage to see our lives as a continuous film strip, from birth to death, then we will be seeing the fourth dimension, time.

Which bring me to my main point: time travel. We have endless books and films on this subject. "Back To The Future" is the earliest film i can remember that touched on time travel. H G Wells wrote a book called "The Time Machine" and a movie was made from it. Most of these said books and films seem to believe that as you go faster, you will somehow travel through time.

But all this flim-flam and science fiction ignored a simple fact: it can't be done.

Why?

Two important reasons: relativity and time paradox.

The first reason, relativity, was invented by the famous Albert Einstein. The same person who invented the atomic bomb, only to regret it when he saw the massive destruction it caused. The same person who came up with theories of Light.

According to his theory, as you go faster, the heavier you become. For example, if you travel at infinite speed to travel through time, your mass will become infinitely heavier. And since you become heavier, you become slower. And since you become slower, you can't travel at infinite speed to travel through time.

The second reason is time paradox. This is best illustrated with an example. H G Wells elaborated this clearly in his book/movie. In "The Time Machine", the inventor's wife was killed in a robbery. Consumed with grief and determined to rectify it, he built a time machine to go back into the past to prevent her death. But he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried.

Why?

Because if he did save his wife, then he will have no reason to build the time machine, and hence will not go back to save his wife. A time paradox.

Right. Now that i've gotten that out of my system, i can move on with my life. :)

"When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane." - Hermann Hesse

You know how most people get their fixes, to relieve their stress even if only for a moment? To make their day easier, to make their burden lighter?

There are people who have their 'speed' fix. Most people smoke or take caffeine. Some take marijuana. Some take heroin. Some take drugs.

Well, i have a confession to make.

I have a fix.

Without it, my day gets a lot harder.

Without it, i have withdrawal symptoms. I shiver and have 'running nose'. I will feel listless and have no energy for work. Without it, i just want to lie on the floor, hug my knees to my chest and sleep.

Yes, i have an addiction.

My addiction is...

... ...

Sweets.

And they can't be just ordinary sweets. My addiction is to mint-flavor sweets. Clorets, to be specific.

*snorts up the nose* Aaahhh... Grade A.

Yes, i know. I should be ashamed of myself. I am a healthy man with a bright future and to have such an addiction, i am a disgrace.

But i can't help myself. Believe me, i want to quit. You must believe me. You must.

:D

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Yes. I know. I am truly going insane. Blame it on my work. >.<

"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost

The thing about being single is that you can throw all your time and energy into work, and forget everything else. Of course, this means you become a reclusive hermit and ignore the world around you.

Case in point:





When i went out last night, i thought to myself:





Damn. When was the last time i went out?





There are girls everywhere!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

Found this here. I like the Aussie one. :D

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SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them all and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity, and arrest the reporter who leaked the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the *!!%$@@##** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

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Happy April's Fool, everyone. :)