War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Six

"The rest of my body was even more distressing. Mr shoulders and back were rounded with fat, to say nothing of my chest and belly. My gut was more than a paunch; it was starting to hang. My thighs were heavy. Even my calves and ankles were swollen."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

For the past few weeks, i have been meaning to whip my ass into shape. The last time i actually exercised was before my reservist. And that was way back in November of last year.

Cancer Horoscope
Go to:Yesterday | Tomorrow
Jason,
The more you try to embellish, the more obvious it will be to everyone else that you don't really know what you're talking about. It is time to focus more of your time on improving your health. If you aren't currently on an exercise program, now is a great time to start. You may have to seek out medical advice.

So today, even Facebook was urging me to exercise. What can you do when a sign from above indicates that your body is seriously lacking, and your IPPT is approaching with the danger and speed of a charging bull?

In the afternoon, i tried to take a nap before embarking on my resolution. But somehow, i woke up after only a few minutes. My body seemed to anticipate the torture, and was too tensed for sleep. As the time approached, i did my warm ups and proceeded to embrace the punishment.

"Strangely, with the guilt came an odd relief. I'd finally found a cause for what had befallen me, and it was myself.
Suddenly, I felt I had control again.
Before, when I'd been unable to admit I'd been doing anything wrong, the fat had seemed like a curse, something that had befallen me, an effect with no cause. I thought of how I'd wanted to blame the plague and shook my head at myself."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

As i jogged at my own pace, i marveled at how my body could still remember the steady jogging pace and keep up with it. As far as i know, abstaining for exercise for more than three months will cause your body to slack off and lose its fitness. Even as i approach my first mental marker and stretch my legs, my body coped accordingly.

However, the months of being couch-potato finally took its toll at my second mental marker. As i open my stride again, my fitness was found wanting. Before i had even reached my turn-around point, my legs were screeching in protest and lungs heaving unsteadily. Well, this is what you get when you put off exercise for too long, i thought. Gritting my teeth and refusing to give in, i pushed my body till i reached the turn-around point.

"With determination strong in me, I returned to the afternoon's work and drove myself relentlessly. I raised and broke new blisters on my hands, and didn't care.
I rejoiced at how my back and shoulder ached as i punished my recalcitrant body with hard work and deprivation. I thrust my hunger pangs out of my mind and toiled on.
Towards the end of the day's work, my legs literally shook with fatigue, but i felt proud of myself. I was in charge. I was changing myself"
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

As i slowly jogged back, my legs were grumbling and complaining at the abuse and strain. Joggers, roller-bladers and cyclists frequently over-took me. Even an occasional toddler with his tiny tricycle could out-pace a surprised me. Depressing is an understatement to describe my feelings at that point.

As i passed the army camp and made my way to the fitness corner, a song broke out to signify the flag-lowering. My spirits lifted briefly, for it meant that i was doing almost as well as i did in the past. Meanwhile, an internal argument was taking place in my mind:

Lazy Me: I'm tired. And this is the first in a long time since we exercise. Can't we walk to the fitness corner?
Determined Me: Oh c'mon. Its not that far away. See? Once we turn that corner there, we've reached our destination.
Lazy Me: But our body has yet to adapt to the exercise. Surely such a sudden strain is not good?
Determined Me: Oh all right. We can walk. But only after we turn at that corner.
Lazy Me: *grumble grumble* Oh ok.
When i reached that corner,
Determined Me: Oh well, since we are here, we might as well jog all the way to the fitness corner.
Lazy Me: You lied! You said we could walk!
Determined Me: Yes, i lied. Look, its only a couple of meters away. Jogging that short distance isn't gonna kill us. We haven't collapsed and died from fatigue so far, so there is no reason why an additional short distance will kill us.
Lazy Me: I hate you.
Determined Me: Yeah, whatever. You will still listen to me, in the end.

And so, i reached the fitness corner and proceeded to do my pull-ups. Again, the months of being a couch-potato took its toll. I barely did seven pull-ups, and my soft palms peeled with traces of blood. I wanted to do my sit-ups, but a couple of kids were playing soccer. This time, i gave in to Lazy Me and walked home with a wet, salt-encrusted, smelly singlet.

"Discipline should have come from within a man. You should have learned it by now. But as you have not, I will impose it upon you, as if you were a spoiled child."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb