I’m writing you a message in code. How do you spell “nincompoop”?

So i'm trying to orgranise a barbecue for my colleagues this coming Saturday. While trying to provide directions to my place, the following emails were exchanged.

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Original email by me:
Subj: BBQ - 6th November - Address and Directions

Hi all,

Summary
Event: BBQ
Total pax: 21
Payment per person: TBC
Driving Directions:

• Coming from the West, take the ECP and exit at BS. Turn right at the first traffic light junction and keep heading straight. You will pass a temple on the left and a mini bus terminal on the right at a traffic light junction. After the said junction, JHS will be on the left. My unit is XXX.
• Coming from the East, take the UCRE and turn left at the BR junction. Travel along BR, until you pass by a Cold Storage on the left, and a hawker centre on the right. The road will curve to the right. JHS will be on the right.
• Coming from the North, take the CTE and then PIE. Exit at BNR, and turn right at the first traffic light junction. Go straight all the way until you reach a T-Junction. Turn left and you will soon see a mini bus terminal on the right at a traffic light junction. After the said junction, JHS will be on the left.
• Coming from the South i.e. Sentosa, take your helicopter and fly to BC. Land there and then get your chauffeur to drive you to JHS. xD

Public Transport Directions:

• For Buses, take 10, 13 or 14. Coming from the West, once you pass BC on the right, alight at the coming bus stop. Facing the road, walk right until you reach JHS. Coming from the East, once you pass the Cold Storage on the left and the hawker centre on the right, alight at the coming bus stop. Facing the road, walk left and cross the road. You will see JHS.
• For MRT, take to TM MRT. Once you reach, give me a call and i'll pick you up from there.
• For Taxis, please refer to the Driving Directions above.

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WK's Reply:
Chinatown is South? Any lobang for helicopter?

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My Reply:
Hi all,

As for parking spaces, there isn't any multi-storey carpack nearby. You guys can park along the small roads. As long as you don't obstruct the driveways of other houses, its ok.

As for helicopter lobang, you can call 1800-CARELESS-AIRWAYS. Please contact BC for any helicopter parking spaces.

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WK's Reply:
Got parachute? Pilot included? How to go home?

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My Reply:
Pilot is considered as add-on services, so there will be extra charges. Parachute not included. But since you live in the South, i presume you can afford it. Please contact your chauffeur when you want to go home.