A Disquiet Heart

After so long, one would have thought that time would temper and eventually quench the anger, rage and fire in my heart. for now, this assumption/illusion is proven wrong.

a chance remark completely refired the grievances that were buried, and perhaps the dwelling and brooding of past memories were catalysts for this to happen. the rigid self-control, which had served me for so long, prevents me from running over, punching, kicking, shouting and venting my anger. i have a sudden urge to lash out at some inoffending object or to the offender and cause of this rage. you might ask: why not air the grievances to the person? my answer: because it happened in the past and i don't want to dreg it up. quarrels, fights and wars are created because of such actions and by intending to avoid such consequences, i have placed myself in a paradoxical quagmire.

the more i chew on the events, the stronger the flame grows. dammit, i need something to distract myself. (-.-)