My Blog's Ninth-Month Anniversary

I started this blog in October last year and its already the month of June now. Looking back, this blog has contained some of my most delirious, warped and delusional rantings and ravings (ok ok, maybe not some, maybe all >.<).

I must say that blogging for me was a good choice. It did allow me and my oliphant to keep in touch with each other's life, as well as with our other friends. It exposed me to the fascinating world of html tags. I also got to know interesting people such as Adrenaline, Green Ogre, Trisha, Mela, Akk, Nadnut and various others. Not too shabby a decision, like they say. :p

So now, its my blog's nineth month anniversary. Perhaps its time to take the cue from Akk and explain where my nick comes from (note that i won't be able to reproduce her 'cute' style of writing >.<). I wanted to do this on my blog's one year anniversary, but i guess i'll post something else instead. In any case, here is an explanation of my nick:

My nick actually comes from an anime called 'Flame of Recca', which i was fascinated in secondary school. The main characters in this anime utilise orbs that contain elemental powers, like wind, earth, water and flame. The anime character which i was most impressed with was Tokiya Mikagami. He uses an orb with the elemental power of water.


This orb is placed on a sword's hilt and compresses any liquid into a blade, provided the user has a 'strong' mind. It is also known as 'Dark Water' in english, or 'Ensui' in Japanese kanji (btw, japanese kanji is similar to the chinese language >.<). Yes yes, some of the bright ones out there would jump in and say, "Hey! 'Dark Water' is the name of that japanese horror movie!". Sorry to disappoint you, but that horror movie has no resemblence to the anime. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. :p


Now, why am i so fascinated by the anime character, Tokiya Mikagami and his elemental power of water, Ensui? First off, he is quietest and the most intelligent of the entire cast. While the others don't know how to fully utilise their powers, he knows exactly how and when to use his powers. For example, in one scene where he used up the compressed water in the blade, he uses his blood to compress into another blade, allowing him to continue fighting (yes, its a morbid example but its one i can think of right now >.<). I'm not saying that i'm as intelligent as him though, just that he impressed me. -.-

Secondly, he has a very cool personality. He analyses any situation coldly, calmly and emotionless-ly. He has few friends, and likes to keep it that way. Being a nerd in secondary school, he was the exact opposite of me and everything i wanted to become. Lastly, i was and still am, fascinated by the sea and hence, the power of water. Perhaps that fascination grew from me being in the National Cadet Corps (Sea) in secondary school. I loved and still love the sea activities that i participated: canoeing, rowing, sailing and motorboat-ing.

When i was out in the sea, i was greeted by that vast stretch of water which made me feel at ease, exhilarated and free.The sea soothed me, carrying away my fears and my worries. The lapping of waves against the boat, along with the sea breeze, made me feel alive. In the sea, i was just like anyone else and not that nerdy-bespectacled-pimply-childish-immature boy. In the sea, i was good at something, be it rowing, canoeing or sailing. I was not that befumbled-useless-mouth-gaping boy. I loved the sea. :)


So now, you know why i chose this name. Perhaps you didn't want to know. Perhaps you always wondered. But whether you like it or not, now you know. *grins*

Pain Pain Pain...

The exams were over last week. The feeling is kinda unreal, with the sudden stop in studying. I went jogging yesterday to whip my sorry-fat ass back into shape, in preparation for the expected reservist training when i return home. After being away for four years, the gah-men is sure to sink its claws into mi and drag me back to the army. Not that i mind, coz i'm actually looking forward to see if i can catch up with any of my army friends and get updated on the newest training.

Remember this?

Oh yes, it happen again, though to a slightly lesser degree. I'm in for a world of pain... *groan*

A cautionary note for all. The game 'Black and White 2' is highly addictive. I'm deadly serious. I played all night until 4am in the morning, got woke up by Justin and continued playing till 3pm. All this without my customary dose of coffee, a bath, breakfast or lunch (yarh yarh, i hear you guys going: eeww... >.<).

You have been warned. :D

Sometimes I Wish...

I wish i could fly,
High into the sky,
Like an hawk in flight,
Frozen in time.

Up and up,
Scream and Shout,
Pain to let out,
Despair to come out.

I wish i could fly,
High into the sky,
Like a eagle in flight,
Beyond the mountain's height.

Speed is all,
Twist and soar,
Rake the air with my claws,
Breaking every single law.

I wish i could fly,
High into the sky,
Like an raptor in flight,
Day or night.

Without care,
Fly with dare,
Even into a dragon's lair,
Hoping to end the sadness, where?

I wish i could fly,
High into the sky,
Like an osprey in flight,
Dip and glide.

Search for weeks,
What do I seek?
I know not, thee,
Perhaps a happy me.

"Nobody knows who i really am,
I never felt this empty before,
And if i ever need someone to come along,
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?"

"We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you thru another day"

"Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong"

"And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore"

"I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong"

"And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore"
- First Ending song, 'Life is like a Boat' from Bleach

"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" - Michael Pritchard

"The enemy is one, you are one.
What is there to fear?
Cast off your fear!
Look forward!
Go forward!
Never stand still.
Retreat and you will age.
Hesitate and you will die."
- Zangetsu from Bleach Episode 20

I've just found out that i got 69.7% for my oral presentation, which makes up 20% in weightage for my thesis. I'm starting to feel a little stressed. This is below what i had expected. I also calculated my Weighted Average Mark (WAM), assuming my thesis got 60% and the rest of my subjects getting 70%. The result? My WAM got reduced to 60ish. This is definitely not good. Somehow, my aim of obtained second upper honours, which needs a WAM of 72.5%, seems a lot more distant now.

Right now, i have a WAM of 71.3%. Is getting that extra few percent that hard, you may ask. Apparently so. And even more so if my thesis doesn't do well. I honestly believe that if i can't achieve my aim, the disappointment will crush me. Like the saying goes, there is no harsher taskmaster than one's own self.

My first paper is tomorrow and my heart is gripped in fear. Its not that i'm not confident of this subject, but more fearful that i won't be able to obtain the marks necessary for second upper honours.

I am so screwed...

Update:
1. Verdict of first paper: Not sure if i'll get a good result. Didn't know how to do some of them, so i assumed certain values and did the best i could. Haiz... This is not a very good start. >.<

2. Verdict of thesis: Justin helped collect my bound thesis today coz i had to study for my next exam tomorrow. Pretty amazing
how a year's work is consolidated into that blue book. I dun think i wanna to see it any more coz i'll just find more mistakes in it. Gonna hand it in tomorrow. Still nervous on what kinda marks i'm gonna get. >.<

3. Verdict of second paper: Did ok with this one. Out of four questions, three were almost identical to the past-year paper. :D

4. Verdict of last paper: You know your feeling of being screwed for this exam is echoed by your peers when you see them shaking their heads after the exam. There wasn't enuff time and i did all of the questions half-way. There better be heaps of moderation. >.<