"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed" - Michael Pritchard
"The enemy is one, you are one.
What is there to fear?
Cast off your fear!
Look forward!
Go forward!
Never stand still.
Retreat and you will age.
Hesitate and you will die."
- Zangetsu from Bleach Episode 20
I've just found out that i got 69.7% for my oral presentation, which makes up 20% in weightage for my thesis. I'm starting to feel a little stressed. This is below what i had expected. I also calculated my Weighted Average Mark (WAM), assuming my thesis got 60% and the rest of my subjects getting 70%. The result? My WAM got reduced to 60ish. This is definitely not good. Somehow, my aim of obtained second upper honours, which needs a WAM of 72.5%, seems a lot more distant now.
Right now, i have a WAM of 71.3%. Is getting that extra few percent that hard, you may ask. Apparently so. And even more so if my thesis doesn't do well. I honestly believe that if i can't achieve my aim, the disappointment will crush me. Like the saying goes, there is no harsher taskmaster than one's own self.
My first paper is tomorrow and my heart is gripped in fear. Its not that i'm not confident of this subject, but more fearful that i won't be able to obtain the marks necessary for second upper honours.
I am so screwed...
Update:
1. Verdict of first paper: Not sure if i'll get a good result. Didn't know how to do some of them, so i assumed certain values and did the best i could. Haiz... This is not a very good start. >.< 
2. Verdict of thesis: Justin helped collect my bound thesis today coz i had to study for my next exam tomorrow. Pretty amazing
how a year's work is consolidated into that blue book. I dun think i wanna to see it any more coz i'll just find more mistakes in it. Gonna hand it in tomorrow. Still nervous on what kinda marks i'm gonna get. >.<
3. Verdict of second paper: Did ok with this one. Out of four questions, three were almost identical to the past-year paper. :D
4. Verdict of last paper: You know your feeling of being screwed for this exam is echoed by your peers when you see them shaking their heads after the exam. There wasn't enuff time and i did all of the questions half-way. There better be heaps of moderation. >.<
Labels:
mus·ing
3 comments:
Hi there,
Hang in there and don't feel so despondent.
I can't say anything about your grades except to learn to take everything in your stride.
Take care!
PS: My old blog's logged me out completely so I've started a new one. Come visit Trisha-Reloaded.blogspot.com
ensui, there's no need to feel sandwiched between two friends. such is life. pain and loss, life goes on. i never expect anyone to take sides, and it's been so long.
you know that me and feng will never want to put the gong' gang in any spot. true, anger words were there, but those were anger words. thinking objectively, we are all glad things turned this direction.
such things were just never meant to be.
@trisha: thanks for your encouragment and wishes. :)
hope you managed to get as much rest as you can during this school holidays, despite the remedial lessons. :p
@puppetress: i know you and feng will never want to put us in any spot. perhaps its only me and my somewhat-warped brain who made me feel this way. >.<
i'm glad to know that the two of you are still friends and have achieved closure in some sense. few couples who broke up can achieve that. i'm very happy for both of you. :)
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