Reality bites...

To all:

Thank you for all your concern and wishes. I'm coping as well as could be expected, i guess. I still miss her terribly at times and at the back of my head, i had some delusions that we could somehow get back together again.

I simply could not forget someone whom i spent almost four years of my life with. I simply could not get over the fact that she is not with me anymore, after almost four years of love, soothing, encouragement and support. I simply could not let my memories of us fade.

In short, my status was 'love-sick child'.

“Your memory of your wife – it isn’t just your memory of her you are preserving, it is your memory of yourself. Yourself when you were happy. You can’t make love to another woman, or let another woman look like her.”
- "The Source of Magic" by Piers Anthony

But now, i have been given a short, sharp and piercing dose of reality.

She is not coming back to me.

Full stop.

Period.

I need to let it go. I need to get over it. I need to stop living in the past. I need to stop whinging and behave sensibly.

"It may be a bit late for such a revelation, but yes, it is true. It is time to relate to the present, without renouncing the past."
- "Night Mare" by Piers Anthony

I know the old adage "time will heal", since i have repeated the same advice to others before. I have no doubt it will, but for now it still hurts a little. There is still a small amount of grief, sadness, depression and disappointment in me.

I'll manage somehow. I'll live.

"There was a time I would have given all i had to hear those words from you, Pacis"
- "Camelot's Shadow" by Sarah Zettel