There’s an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.

"He saw a chance, a vague and misty path through the fog, so dangerous that the mere thought of it stopped his breath. But he'd already started along that path - he'd been pushing through it blindly, picking his way among the pits and mires - and now the sun had risen within him, and the fog had begun to burn away.

He saw that he was already doing it right: he was already on a path that led to everything, if he only had the guts to risk it all. The slightest hesitation, the vaguest stirrings of fear, and he'd be lost. The demons that patrolled this path would close in and rend him at the first hint of uncertainty, but he didn't mind that at all."
- "Heroes Die" by Matthew Woodring Stover

As it turns out, the second path does exist. After three applications, i finally managed to get onto it.

My parents are happy. I should be happy.

But i'm not. Why?

Perhaps its because i'm out of my comfort zone. Perhaps its because i'm so damn tired of re-applying to that position and company. Perhaps its because i'm suddenly not sure if thats what i actually want. Perhaps its because i'm worried that the talentless me will fail spectacularly.

Apprehensive. Worried. Nervous. Whatever it is, "happy" is definitely not my mood now.

Update: 19/10/08
I almost forgot. Happy Birthday to my three-year-old blog. It has been through with me:

• Two relationships,
• My first real job in the rat race,
• I'm about to commence my second job,
• Loads of nonsensical rantings from me,
• Loads of grief, and
  
• Loads of happiness

So far, it has been going well for this blog. I don't think i'll be quitting this any time soon. :)