Why is it you always rip your pants on the day everyone has to demonstrate a maths problem at the chalkboard?

And of course, it also includes trying to learn a new Chinese song when your Chinese is utterly rubbish. :p

The 5-ton carnivorous lizard can run faster than a charging rhino! What can be more horrifying? Besides the blood-curdling roar of its mum…

What some advice on driving off-road?

Give up on that sissy Land Cruiser. xD

Stupidity produces antibodies.

“It was no more than the bones of his affection, but she seized on it. 'I would, my lord.' It hurt me to see her content with so little.”
- “Assassin's Quest” by Robin Hobb

Have you ever felt so lonely and dejected that you hunger and thirst for love?

So much so, that when someone so beautiful and hot gives you some attention or even some affection, you lap it all up?

And even though you already know things are impossible between the two of you, you do anything to make her happy?

And the minute she comes seeking you, you drop everything to be by her side?

And even though you know that you're being taken for a ride, and that all your efforts would be seen as friendship by her, you still do it anyway?

And the reason for behaving this way, is that you are so fugly and pathetic, that you would gladly take any attention that comes your way, even more so by someone so beautiful and hot?

Us guys are a predictable lot. Show us a pretty girl, and we will do anything, including moving the world, for her.

“I love her still, just as much as I did when she left me. I thought then that, when all my tasks were done, I would find her and somehow we would be happy together. And here we are, sixteen years later, and I still haven’t managed to find my way back to her.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

I’d say that crossed the line from ironic coincidence to evil omen.

Yesterday morning, on the way to work:

Dad: So have you found a girlfriend yet?

Me: Nope.

Dad: Why not?

Me: Well, my previous company was small. So i had lots to do. Now, my current company is big. But i'm busy learning as much as i can. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't, i'm not too bothered.

---

Yesterday after lunch, on the way to a supplier:

Taxi-driver: Sometimes, a guy must learn how to cook. So that when the wife doesn't cook, at least he can take over. By the way, are you married?

Me: Erm... No.

Taxi-driver: You have a girlfriend?

Me: *chuckle nervously* That's the problem. No.

Taxi-driver: Why not? Cannot lah. You got no excuse. Uncle here so ugly, can find a wife. You're better looking than Uncle, so you have no excuse not to have a girlfriend.

---

Yesterday evening, on the way to a wedding dinner:

Male Colleague: Us guys need to approach girls one. Where got girls approach guys? So you need to start approach girls leh.

Me: Don't want lah. When girls see me, they will start to run lor. If i start approaching them, they might even commit suicide.

---

Yesterday night, just before the wedding dinner commenced:

Boss: Eh. Jason. Got see any pretty girls or not? Then you can approach them lah.

Me: *covers head in despair*

---

I think someone up there is trying to tell me something. :p

Childhood is short and maturity is forever.

I - as the eldest in the family - unfortunately have to grow up. :(

Boys are made of snips, snails & puppy dog tails. Tigers are made of dragonflies & katydids but mostly chewed-up little kids.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door,
for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population,
for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway,
for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters,
for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends,
for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated,
for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned,
this is for you.

The full version is here, along with the Ode to Nice Girls.

How can kids know so much and still be so dumb?

Question:
What happens when you encounter something which defies all logic, reasoning and effort?

Answer:
You're left with two exhausted, tired and grimy engineers.

*collapse*