"Good morning, everyone. My name is Jason and my thesis topic is..."

Thesis Presentation
Thursday, 4th May 2006.
9.00 am.
Time allocated = 15 mins.
Other lecturers will be present for grading.

Last Saturday and Sunday:
Preparation of thesis presentation on Powerpoint. Tried to email the file to my supervisor for him to look through, but it was too big (about 8 Mbs >.<). Total number of slides = 18

Monday:
Took a few photos to add into my presentation. The lab-assistant said that she'll come to watch my presentation, but i think she's just going to embarrass me. (-.-)
Met and asked my supervisor if he wanted to have a look at my Powerpoint slides. He asked if i could email it to him, and i told him it was too big. When i told him i had 18 slides, he told me to cut it down to 14 (approximately 1 slide per minute >.<). Darn... back to the drawing board. (-.-)

Tuesday:
Managed to chop my slides down from 18 to 13, but increased in size from 8 to 14 Mbs. Darn... Isn't it suppose to reduce in size when i delete slides?! (-.-)

Wednesday morning:
Went to see my supervisor and he went through my presentation. Told me to make some corrections here and there. Back to the drawing board again. (-.-)
In one class, my friend told me Justin (the good Malaysian buddy of mine) is coming to watch my presentation too. Dammit... More embarrassment. (-.-)

Wednesday afternoon:
In another class, one of my lecturer (who happens to be the Mechanial Engineering Coordinator and am on good terms with me) announced to the class that there will be a Mech Eng Thesis Presentation the next day. He also said that it would be a good idea to see what are the various thesis topics and see some friendly faces there. I can only assume he's talking about me. (-.-)
Judging by the grins of my aussie friends who heard that announcement, i can only fervently hope that they won't come.
One of my aussie friends, who is also my partner for group assignments, couldn't make it coz he had to work. Phew! One less embarrassment. >.<

Wedneday night:
Finish touching up the slides. Practiced three times, with timings of 13 minutes, 16 minutes and 14 minutes. Thought i should be ok. Just before i go to sleep, prepared the formal wear for the next day. Mutterings to myself went like this:
"Ok, lets see. I've got a long-sleeve shirt. *searches for it* There it is. Good. I'll wear that."
"Now then, I need my black pants. Hhmm... *searches for black pants* Where is it? Hmm... *searches somemore* Shit. Did i not bring it? *searches the luggage* Oohh ffaarrkk..." (-.-)
After running to Rosie and telling her of the predicament, she suggested that i try on a biege-coloured pants that i haven't wore in ages and prob won't fit. Sure enuff. After trying, it doesn't fit. Darn...
After all that preparation, i dun have black pants. WTF?! If i had known earlier, i would have just bought a pair from Tramps! But no... The yours truly champion, have to discover the missing pants on the night before the presentation! (-.-)
Started thinking of who is around my waist size. Big Banana? Dun think i can even fit into his. Anyway, i think he's asleep liaoz. There is only one other friend and he's way bigger than me. Tried calling him:
"Eh. I dun have pants for tomorrow presentation. You have a pair of black pants?"
"Hhmm... I dun have black pants leh. But i got pants lah. Grey colour ones."
"Hmm... K k. Think i'll come over and have a look. What is your waist size arh?"
"Waist arh? Wait arh, let me check. *hear him rummaging around for the pants to check* Waist size 40"
"Wah. Best liaoz. i only waist size 36 leh."
"Heh. I tell you first hor. Even for me, when i wear it, the pants is baggy leh."
*speechless* "Haiyah. Got no choice liaoz. i come over and get it from you."
Sure enuff. Its so baggy i can't even see the outline of my leg! No choice lah, no choice. (-.-)

Today, Thursday morning:
Went to Uni for the presentation. Was waiting for the rest of the lecturers to come in when i saw two of my other aussie friends coming in. Win liaoz. More embarassment. (-.-)
Since i'm the second person to present, i wasn't really concentrating on the first presenter but rather on attempting to calm myself. Halfway through the first person's presentation, i saw Justin coming in. Darn... Just how many people are coming to embarrass me?!
My presentation took close to 19 minutes. Think i over-elaborated. The lab-assistant also manuaged to turn up. (-.-)
During discussion time, there were heaps of questions. I think i managed to answer all of them well. The before-mentioned two aussie friends and Justin left after my presentation. They were really here to embarrass me.

Na Bei... (-.-)

Another mushy post...

"The Flower God's cries,
Disheveled in the Wind of Flowers.
Disheveled in the Heaven's Winds,
The Heavenly Demon laughs."
- Eighth Squad Captain, Shunsui Kyoraku in Bleach Episode 56

Just a particular verse that i really like. It holds no particular meaning and is probably just a random piece of japanese poetry. Or maybe its simply because i really like the anime Bleach. Or maybe its just me and my deluded opinion. So here is another post on my delusions. :D

"My life for your life.
My death for your life.
My life for your death.
My death for your death."
- Elven Star by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

Love. Its like a butterfly: The more you try and catch it, the more it eludes you. When you're not looking for it, it comes to you. How many of us have looked for it and failed? I had. How many of us have truly found it? I have.

"'My life for your life.' That means that while we live, we share the joy of living with each other.
'My death for your life.' I would be willing to lay down my life to save yours.
'My life for your death.' I will spend my life avenging your death, if i can't prevent it.
'My death for your death.' A part of me will die, when you do."
- Elven Star by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

Perhaps its me and my deluded opinion, but i think love can cure anything in a relationship. Anger. Depression. Frustration. With soothing words, love can drive such feelings away, as the sun drives the thunderclouds. I love my oliphant. She has always been there for me, sharing, encouraging and supporting. I can't wait for us to start our lives together. Is there any other feeling can be better? Yes. The knowledge that she loves me for who i am, and loves me for how much i love her.

"I used to think love would be enough, that it was some type of magical elixir we could sprinkle over the world and end all hatred. I know now, it's not true. Love's water is clear and pure and sweet, but it isn't magic. It won't change anything."
- Elven Star by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

So, call me naive. Call me innocent. Call me ignorant. Call me whatever you want. I will still continue to believe that love is paramount in a relationship and that it can cure anything.

But will it end all hatred in the world? Sorry, but i'm not that naive. Hatred is a bitter-tasting brew. Some people have drank it for so long that they have become a hollow shell, forgeting the sweet taste of life. Perhaps they need a new reason to live for. Perhaps they need love.

"He had held onto his hate for so long, his hands would feel empty without it. Perhaps it would be better to find something other than death to fill them."
- Elven Star by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

And then, there was silence...

Imagine a silence so palpable, so heavy and yet so comforting and so encompassing. In that silence, there is not a slightest hint of sound, nor whisper. You can only hear the sound of your breathing, but not the sound of the wind's breath.

You can see the vast earth that lay before you, the sprawl of buildings and the green blanket of flora. You look down and feel the slightest tinge of height-phobia, for you are standing on nothing more than the transparent air. But the view draws your eyes and your fear is banished away.

You see the fog teasing the lake, flitting, streaming and circling. As the sunlight pierces through the air, lines of fog trail off in an evaporating wake, weaving nature's own unique tapestry.

That, my friends, is how i felt, heard and saw when i sat in the hot-air balloon.


The trip, i daresay, was a success. I had good fun and was able to throw off, for a moment, the blanket of work, worry and weariness. It was a long drive, both to and from there. But the endless conversations, debates and questions with friends made it seem less so.

There is only one thing that i wished for in that trip. The one thing that would made my trip a lot happier and a lot more fun...

The presence of my oliphant.

Musings

(-.-) Things on my mind now:

• Winter is coming. There are cold nights and early mornings where one can smell the crisp fresh air. That sure brings back memories. Memories of love and my oliphant. Hee... :)
  
• We are off to Canberra on the Easter weekend for the hot-air balloon show. Got abt 7 of us (including Big Banana, Caffeine Addict and Rosie >.<) going, so its gonna be fun. At least, i hope it will be fun. Knowing how boring Canberra is, i'll give it a 50-50 chance of having fun mainly coz we have quite a group with us.
  
• The second point above was so not to make you guys jealous. heh.
  
• Thesis? What thesis? >.<
• Seriously though, i've got another two more tests to do and i can start typing my thesis out. I've got a thesis presentation in 3 weeks and a draft thesis due in 4 weeks. So why on earth am i going off to Canberra on Easter weekend? Pls refer to the fourth point above.
• Played soccer in a Mechanical Versus Mechatronics Society Shield (yes, seriously, they actually have such a thing which was started last year >.<). We lost 2-1. Darn... But it was still good fun though. :)
• The EPL is starting to heat up. I really hope Man Utd can overtake Chelsea's lead of 7 points. That will sure knock out some of Jose Mourinho's teeth and arrogance. :p

Oh yeah. A happy Easter weekend to all of you. Pls drink and drive responsibly. Its double demerit points over here. Lol... :D

Canberra, here we come!

Love is all around..

My oliphant sent me surprise gift! Yippee! She wrote a lovely poem to encourage my poor self and the surprise gift to cheer me on. My oliphant loves me! Hee... I is very the happy. :D

I was also told in the card that it needs a name.

0.o

Soft toys need a name, i understand. But bookmarks too? Hhmm... In any case, i have decided to name it Saru, or japanese for 'monkey'. There isn't a proper japanese name for 'gorilla', so the nearest would be 'monkey', i suppose. :p


Thank you so much, darling. *hugz* I will always love you and treasure you till the end of days. I love you. *muack!* Hee... :D

Decisions decisions decisions...

"A man makes his choices.
True, but what choices a man makes depends on what choices he is offered."
- "King of Foxes" by Raymond E. Feist

Decisions. Choices. Options.

They are always there in life: whether we want them or not, whether we notice them or not, whether we need them or not. Decisions can alter our life. Choices can change our path. Options can redo our fate. Sometimes its an easy one, "Where do we go for dinner?" Sometimes its a difficult one, "Shall i turn up for the outing with my colleagues?". And others... Well, others are life-changing decisions, which are sometimes made on the spur of the moment, "Shall i apply for a position in this company?" "Will you be my girlfriend?" "Shall I apply for a degree?"

"Its an Ogre Choice that you give us: die fast or die slow."
- From some book, i can't exactly remember. :p

There are times when an alternative exist, but we didn't see it. As the chinese saying goes, "Pang Guan Zhe Zhui Qing" - the by-stander always has the clearest view. There are times when we get too involved in a situation, too caught up in its process and forget our aims, our focus and our goals.

So what then is the right choice? Is there ever a correct decision? What is a good option? Only we know ourselves, the answers to these questions. What we choose is ultimately up to us. No one can force a decision on someone else. This is our life. Once we have chosen however, we alone face whatever consequences of the choice we have made. The responsiblity of the decision is on you, yourself and only you.

So can one do under such circumstances?

We choose.

And we hope we have chosen wisely, for sometimes its the smallest decisions that can change our lives forever...

-----
"So. Are you really going back to Singapore? Is there really nothing that can happen which will make you stay? Like maybe a company offers you a job?"
"Hhhmmm... Actually, if by some stroke of miracle or luck, a company offers me a job, i will seriously consider staying here."
"Ah ha! So if a company does offer you a job, you will seriously consider staying?"
"Erm... yeah."
"K k. I shall go see if i have any contacts that can offer you a job then. Hhhmm... Mechanical Engineer, right? Think i need to go make a few friends."
"But if you have those friends, you won't need me to stay here. You have them already. And i think its a pretty far-out measure to get me to stay, no?"
"Yarh. My friends say the same thing to me when i tell them i might be going home to find a job. And when i tell them its a pretty far-out measure, they say it isn't. So now i'm telling you it isn't a far-out measure. Anyway, if you stay, she can come over and play with me. Hee... "

-----
Although it was a light-hearted banter, it felt nice to be wanted for your friendship and company. I'm not sure if you will read this, but i really appreciate it. All i can offer as thanks are my poor company, inane bantering and my irritating laughing-at-you-teasing. I'm glad to have you as a good friend. Thank you so much. :)

Whinge whinge whinge whinge whinge...

1. I have a mid-session quiz on monday.
2. I have a half-way-done assignment due on tuesday.
3. I have another half-way-done assignment due on wednesday.
4. My 'off' days are thursdays and fridays, but now i use them to do my thesis experiments. So much for wanting to sleep in. >.<
5. I got another estimated 7 more thesis experiments to do, and i can only do them one per day, due to its draggy nature. That means that it will take me another 3 to 4 weeks to complete them.
   

I seriously need a machine that can stop time. Help, anyone? :p

Update:
1. The mid-session quiz (which was worth 25% in weightage, btw >.<) was a nightmare. I stayed up till 3.30am to do my other assignment and as a result, didn't study for the quiz at all. I'll be lucky if i pass. I am so dead.
2. The assignment which i stayed up late to do, as mentioned above, is also screwed up. I tallyed my answers with my friends and discover mistakes in most of them. All that late-night-work for nothing. I repeat: i am so farking dead.
3. A second night of staying up till 3.30 am to do the assignment. Just handed in one of my assignments. Left one last small section out coz i was too bloody tired and exasperated by the amount of effort spent in it. I hate matrices. I really hate them. Especially huge ones like 7 X 7 or 10 X 10. Try solving for them by hand. Have i mentioned that i hate matrices? >.<
4. One last assignment for the week due tomorrow. Luckily its a group one and my aussie teammate offered to do most of them. I really owe him one. :)
5. Finally handed in the last of this week's assignments on wed. i actually feel a tad good about it, so i think i'll get a decent mark. The worst is over, and i can finally relax a little. Had half a day off from my thesis yesterday and it felt really good. I'm almost done for today, so i foresee that i'll be going home by arvo 1ish. Life is sweet, once again. :)

A Sorry Attempt In Poem Dictation 2

In our house,

There is a mouse,
Who is no heavier than an ounce.

Bought a trap,
But it didn't snap,
While the bait was taken, oh crap.
Countless times,
We shall try,
While it escapes, in a blink of an eye.


Update:
Bravo! Bravo! All hail Rosie, the All-Powerful-Mouse-Catcher! *kowtows* Our mission have been successful! We have caught the mouse! But first, an explanation of the equipment of our All-Powerful-Mouse-Catcher, Rosie. She decided to use the simple-but-yet-effective instruments of a stick, rope and container to catch the offending mouse.

This method is like the hunters of old who will lay bait on the floor and a overhanging container, supported by the stick. A rope is then tied to the stick and pulled when the victim is eating the bait. Below is a picture of the Heavenly Rope and Hit-Dog-Stick (aka Da Gou Bang in Chinese >.<).
With such powerful tools in her hands, it is no wonder that she succeeded! And when the poor mouse was lured to the bait, All-Powerful-Mouse-Catcher Rosie swung into action!*Gasp!* With Reflexes-Like-Lightning and a Speed-As-Fast-As-Bullet, she pulled the rope and the mouse was captured! *Yay! Applause* Now, the offending mouse is placed into the Container-aka-Thousand-Storeys-High-Pagoda for her to reflect upon her past awful and hideous sins of scaring the All-Powerful-Mouse-Catcher Rosie, and eating our Food-aka-Heavenly-Peaches-and-Immortality-Pills.

Hah! Repent on your sins, you evil mouse! Prepare to endure Eternal-Torture-In-Hell and face the consequences of your horrendous actions!

Damn... I seriously need some sleep. >.<

My Virgin Meme :D

"Meme refers to any piece of information transferable from one mind to another. Examples might include thoughts, ideas, theories, practices, habits, songs, dances and moods. Different definitions of meme generally agree, very roughly, that a meme consists of some sort of a self-propagating unit of cultural evolution having a resemblance to the gene."
- "Meme" from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Kena tagged by Adrienne, so this is my FIRST time doing a meme. :) In any case, here it goes:

7 Dreams Before Death:
1. Visit the Seven Wonders of the World.
I dun really care if they are Ancient Wonders, Natural Wonders or whatever. As long as it counts as one of the Wonders of the World, i'm happy. I've visited the Taj Mahal, the Grand Canyon and the Seven Apostles. Three down, four more to go! :D

2. Marry my oliphant.
Going to fulfil this dream this year. :)

3. Able to see my grandchildren grow up with my oliphant.
I think that moment will be the absolute pinnacle in my life.

4. To earn a million dollars.
'Nuff said.

5. To knock someone off his/her bicycle when they cycle past.
I know, i sound very violent. I can't help but have this itchy feeling of putting my arm out when i hear/see someone skateboard/cycle past me. I wonder how it'll look like, seeing them fly off their skateboard/bicycle. Hhhmm...

6. To work/study in MIT.
For the ignorant out there, MIT stands for the Massachusetts Institude of Technology. This is where they invented the Internet, the art of hacking, and various other important technologies. This is where every engineer wants to go, including me. :D

7. To drive and learn in depth about every single battletank in the world.
Blame it on my NS lah. I want to learn more abt the new tank that the SAF has now. I want to learn about the M1A1 Abrams Supertank, which is used by the American soldiers. I want to learn how they work, take apart their engines, examine their suspension system and drive them.

7 Things I Can't Do At This Lifetime:
1. Witness the Time Machine.
I can say quite confidently that I won't be able to see the invention of the time machine. Technology today or in my lifetime simply cannot do so.

2. Relive my child life.
I really want to relive my younger days, and avoid the mistakes that i've made. I can't do that, simply becoz the time machine hasn't been invented yet (see Point 1, as above >.<).

3. Have sex with another woman.
I have my oliphant, and i love her very much. I will never betray her willingly.

4. To stand by and do nothing when someone needs help.
I live by this saying, "Do not do unto others, what you don't want others to do unto you". I help others, simply becoz i hope others will do the same for me when i'm in need of help. >.<

5. Witness the two World Wars.
See Point 1, as above. Yes, yes. I know, i know. I'm pushing it already, but really straining my pea-sized brain here leh! :p

6. Witness the birth of the Universe and Earth.
Yes, yes. See Point 1. Actually, even if i do get a chance, i might just fall asleep. >.<

7. See real live dinosaurs.
Again, see Point 1. And i really want to see this. I think the kid in every male would want to as well. :D

7 Things That Attract Me:
1. Tanks.
Tanks fascinate me. I even downloaded and still keep episodes of "Modern Marvels" (a TV series >.<) when they featured the Panzer Tank, the M1A1 Abrams Supertank, the A10 Tankbuster, the Sherman Tank and Tank Crews (can hear you guys muttering "weirdo..." under your breath liaoz >.<).

2. Soccer.
I like to play and watch soccer. As most of my friends have graduated, i sadly won't have a chance to do the former. As for watching, I like the free-flowing attacking play of Man Utd. :D

3. The sight of my oliphant sleeping.
There is a saying that a woman looks most blissful when she's asleep. I can't agree more. :)

4. Anime.
I'm currently watching Bleach and Initial D. The latter has just ended its fourth season (or called stage >.<). *sobz* Hope they will have another stage coming out soon. Bleach is really good as well: funny as well as a good storyline. :)

5. Shakespeare stories.
Perhaps its the old english dialect, or the speech structure. Whichever it is, i like to read (and sometimes watch >.<) shakespeare's stories. I've read/watch (the modern versions on both counts >.<) Taming Of A Shrew, Macbeth (Who would have thought the old man had so much blood in him?), Romeo And Juliet (Whats in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell just as sweet), Tempest, Merchant of Venice and Julius Caesar (Et tu, Brutus? Then fall, Caesar!).

6. Fast cars.
Think its the influence from Initial D. :D

7. Books
I 'devour' books. Seriously. I can finish most books in 24 hours. I often re-read my favourite authors or books that i like. :)

7 Things I Say:
1. Na Bei.

2. KNN.

3. What the ...?

4. Erm...

5. Sorry.

6. Cheers/Thanks for that.

7. Eh/Oei/Aye!

7 Books I love:
What?! Seven only?! >.<
1. Books by David Eddings

2. Books by Raymond E. Feist

3. Books by Micheal Moorcock

4. Books by Anthony Piers

5. Books by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman.

6. The "egyptian" novels by Wilbur Smith

7. The Dragons of Pern series by Anne McCaffery

7 Movies That I Love:
Erm... Like, can? Dun think there are any movies that i love. >.<
1. Face Off starring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta
2 scenes still remain in my mind to this day: one where Nicholas Cage exits the car and his cloak billows in the wind, and the other one where Nicholas Cage pulls out two guns from behind his back.

2. Gladiator, starring Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix
Fantastic soundtrack and acting

3. The Fifth Element, starring Bruce Willis and Milla Jovoich
Absolute brilliant combination of humour and action.

4. Independence Day, starring Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum
Will Smith. What more can i say?

5. Con Air, starring Nicholas Cage and John Cusack
More good acting by Nicholas Cage.

6. Spiderman, starring Kirsten Dunst and Tobey Maguire
I thought Marvel did a good job of transfering the comic to the movie.

7. The Scorpion King, starring Kelly Hu and The Rock
Kelly Hu is HOT!!!

7 Tags:
I not as evil as Adrenaline where i will curse those who dun do my meme. :D
1. Flowerger
Something to do while you slack in the office. :)

2. Pinkys
Now you have something to blog about!

3. Kinky Nomad
Will be interesting to see your meme.

4. Puppetress
Muhahaha! Got good thing must share.

5. Trisha
Hope you will read this and do the meme. :)

6. John Howard
*grins*

7. George Bush
lol... :D

Remarkable is it not, the nature of words?

"I keep silent, because words have power. Because in the act of speaking, i change the balance. What is seen changes because it has been seen, and if i speak of the change, it changes again. I see only what might be, and what might be might also be changed, even by so small a thing as a word."
- "Camelot's Honour" by Sarah Zettel.

Words have the strangest power.

They can hurt, such that the wound of the heart will never recover. They can destroy, such that the human's spirit will know only despair and hopelessness. They can create a war, such that between friends or lovers, peace will never be made.

But yet... They can heal, such that even the weak take heart and become lions. They can create paradise, such that the wounded momentarily forget their physical pain and are transported to a land of their dreams and imagination. They can create intelligence, such that a glimmer of understanding shines in the eyes. They can give birth to ideals, such that a man will fight for what he believes in.

Words are strange things.

They can mean much, and yet we are given the power to use them as we see fit. Will we become another Hitler, and lead people to glory but yet eventual destruction? Or will we become another Churchill, and inspire the human's spirit to persevere? Will we create a rift that is so huge, so as to forever not have a peace of mind? Or will we breach that rift with a single word, "sorry", and then can die in peace?

"Whats in a name? That which we call a rose,
By any other name, will smell just as sweet."
- "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare.

"I should have known a man who understands silence so well would have to understand words as well"
- "Camelot's Honour" by Sarah Zettel.

But yet... Words can mean little, for its the understanding and actions that count. All the words count for nothing, if the actions do not follow. So what if people speak of others so hurtfully that we would have thought a plague has besought them? Or so blissfully that we would have thought they were in heaven? To understand the truth would cut across such words, and open your eyes to the truth, accepting it in your heart.

Words are truly strange.
-----

The point of this entire post? To remind us of the power we wield when we speak. To remind us to understand others. The Madi Gras parade is held today in Sydney and i truly hope that people would understand each other more. Does it really matter if one is gay? He/She is but a human, and has every right in this world as every one of us. As quoted above, "Whats in a name?" A name does not make a person any less human, nor any less of a man/woman.

"Body to Brain, Body to Brain. Do you read me? I repeat, do you read me?"

With my new PC ( and 19" LCD screen >.<) and the internet up, i'm all settled into my new home for the next six months. I very the happy. :D Only thing is that my brain seems to have turned to mush (just like my body, due to the lack of exercise >.<) during the summer holidays. I have to find some way to 'jump-start' my stagnant brain cells. Hhhmmm...

-----
Procedure For The Jump-Starting Of Brain Cells
Note: This process is not for the faint-hearted and is severly gross in nature. You have been warned. The author is not responsible for any deaths, damages nor accidents incurred during this process. :p

Aim:
To jump-start a person's brain, using any means necessary.

Equipment needed:
1. A very sharp knife
2. A battery pack with jumper cables
3. Lots of rags to clean up any mess/blood during the procedure.

Procedure:
1. Open the victim's head with the very sharp knife to gain access to the brain. As long as the jumper-starter is able to gain access, the method and direction of slicing is up to the him/her. Use the rags to mop up any mess if necessary.
2. Once access is gained, proceed to clamp the jumper cables from the battery pack onto the victim's brain. Ensure that the positive and negative clamps are opposite to each other.
3. Proceed to slap the victim around to 'jump-start' the brain. This would also lead to a slack-jaw expression of the victim, thus allowing additional intake of oxygen to the brain. Should the slack-jaw expression be unattainable, additional force is authorised until the said expression is achieved.
4. By now, the victim's brain should have been jump-started. To further confirm that the aim has been achieved, use an automobile to drag the victim for 5 hours. If the victim manages to escape during the dragging, he has passes the confirmation test. All other reactions by the victim means that he/her has failed the confirmation test. Should that happen, repeat Steps 2 to 4, until the victim has passed the confirmation test.
5. Congratulations! The victim's brain has been jump-started.
-----

P.S: Yes yes, i know i know. Mi very the gross. And no, i will not use this procedure on myself. I very the peaceful kind of person, so will not participate in such violent acts. lol... :D

Rumble rumble rumble...

I like to think myself as an independent person. I do my own stuff, my own way and anything that i want, in my own ability. I do not ask anyone for help (unless really really necessary >.<), partly because i feel that they'll be going through the extra trouble for me. And me, being a normal person, is not worth going through the trouble for.

Perhaps this is why i feel really irked if someone asks me for my help, purely for their own convenience.

"Can you drive me to the grocery store? I need to buy something." "Can you help me bring in my laundry when you get home?"

Come on. You can do this on your own. Why do you need me to help you do this? I get the impression that i'm being taken advantage of. The only times where such feelings don't apply are:
1. The person is a really really good friend (You want to come grocery shopping with me? Sure. You want me to come grocery shopping with you, just coz you can take advantage of my car? Bullshit).
2. The person is in a tight spot and desperately needs my help (You need me to help drive your friend home coz he/she feels unsafe? No problem. You went out for dinner on your own and want me to fetch you home coz you're too friggin' lazy to walk? Get a life).
3. The person can do it on his/her own, but will go through enormous trouble (Fetch you from the train station coz you have huge luggages to carry? Not a problem. Fetch you from the airport? No way!).

Do you like being told what to do or think? I surely don't. I don't like to be told what to do and how to feel. If i feel angry, i dun need someone to tell me that i should feel happy instead. I dun need someone to tell me that we are going out for dinner tonight. What if i dun wanna go out for dinner?

I do what i wanna do, and i dun need some farkin idiot, who doesn't know me, to tell me what i should or should not do! If you had ask, it would have been fine. But if you had simply assume or just said so, you have just pissed me off. Call me selfish. Call me uncouth. Call me hostile. Call me unfriendly. Call me uncooperative. Call me whatever you like. I dun friggin care. Neither do i need the opinion of somebody, who irks me, irritates me, or doesn't know me.

Arrived: Wollongong, Australia

Its good to be back in Oz and driving our red manual car. :)

The LCD went through the whole trip without a hitch, as well as the 'visit' to the customs. Phew! *wipes sweat* now, all i'm waiting for is my casing to arrive on tues (hopefully >.<) and try to recover from my jet lag.

P.S: Had a pair of parents with their baby, sitting near me during the flight. The kid was sitting up and wailing constantly to show his displeasure. The father put the headphones on the baby and i could see the wide-eyed wonder that came over his tiny face. He also began to 'dance' (by bouncing >.<) to the music. Wailing was forgiven almost immediately. :)

Two Days and Counting Down...

Last day at work today. Feeling light-hearted and happy. The secretary passed me a clearance form for me to get 'autographs', so later at 5pm i'm off to obtain the precious signatures of the financial and I.T department secretaries. Feels like i'm back in N.S, clearing my leave in preparation for O.R.D, hunting the elusive officers and specialists to get their approvals on the N.S clearance form. lol...

Today is my book-out day,
Hoo-ray, hoo-ray,
Today is my book-out day,
Hoo-ra, Hoo-ra aye,
No more P.T.I, no more C.S.M,
Today is my book-out day,
Hoo-ra Hoo-ra aye.

Woohoo! Looking forward to end of the day where i'll have dinner with flowerger and the rest of the wollongong gang. :)

P.S: I'm hopping with excitement and rubbing my hands with glee (not literally, of course >.<). Why? The picture below explains why. Antec PlusView II, here i come! :D

Three Days and Counting Down...

Here is a story i wrote when i was young and had english tuition. We were asked to write a story/composition and i can't remember if i made it up or i took the idea from somewhere. In any case, i've decided to put it here coz i told it to my oliphant and she said it would made a good children's book. The tuition teacher said almost the exact same thing (yarh yarh, i caught the 'shameless' disease from the 'ever-so-pretty' flowerger >.<). In some way, its also dedicated to my oliphant, for this upcoming Valentine's Day. *grins* So here it goes (oh yarh, pls note that any names here that are related to real characters are purely concidental and i've slightly improved the story >.<):

-----
The Story Of Why Elephant's (or Oliphant's >.<) Trunk Is So Long And Why Rabbit's (or Wabbit's >.<) Tail Is So Short.

One day, winnie-the-pooh was stolling along the forest one day, looking for honey. He thought to himself: hhmm... My birthday is coming soon, so i shall hold a birthday party. I can get heaps of presents and honey. Yippee!

And so, he sent out his invitations the next day. He invited owl, tigger, oliphant, wabbit, kangaroo, fox and lots of other animals. He even invited Christopher, who was a boy and a good friend. Now, in those days, oliphant's trunk was rather short and wabbit's tail was rather long. They both liked it anyway and had no complaints. Everyone was excited and discussed what sort of presents to get for him. They also helped winnie-the-pooh organised the party, such as the party decorations and his birthday cake.

Now, fox was thinking to himself: hhmm... i don't have much money left. So what should i get for winnie-the-pooh's present? I know! I shall get a shirt for him, seeing he's so stark naked now.

And so, he went shopping for a nice shirt for winnie-the-pooh. He saw a nice red shirt that was going for pretty cheap (made in China >.<) and within his budget. He happily bought the shirt, even wrapped it nicely in a box and prepared for the upcoming party. The day soon arrived and everyone was having fun. All the animals played games and laughter filled the forest. The birthday song was sang and the birthday cake was ate. Next came the opening of presents. Winnie-the-pooh opened them and like all of the presents. Then, he opened fox's present.

"Wow! what a nice shirt!" winnie-the-pooh said. He liked the red shirt so much, that he put it on straight away. "Hey! It fits nice and snug! Thank you so much, fox!" Fox blush, "Not a problem, winnie-the-pooh. I thought you might like it."

Suddenly, it rained. "Oh crap! Everyone, run for shelter!" Christopher hollered. So, with much confusion, all the animals ran for shelters to try and avoid the rain. Winnie-the-pooh tried to find some shelter too, but after all that birthday-cake eating, he was rather slow. The poor bear ran around, trying to find some shelter that could keep him dry. Sadly, he was a little too slow and got drenched in the process.

Soon, the sun came out and all the animals wandered out of their shelters. "Oh no! Look at winnie-the-pooh!" Winnie-the-pooh was wearing his new red shirt when he got drenched and the shirt had shrunk (being made in China and all >.<)! "Oh dear! I'm so sorry, winnie-the-pooh!" Fox apologised profusely and tried to get it off, but to no avail. The bigger animals like oliphant tried to pull it off too, but no one could do it. Fox felt responsible for this mishap and thought really hard for a solution to overcome this problem.

"I know! Lets form a chain to combine our strengths and pull the shirt off him!" Fox said. "Sounds like a great idea!" Owl agreed (being wise and all that >.<). All the animals then formed a chain to pull the shirt off winnie-the-pooh. "Where shall i go then?" Oliphant asked. "Why don't you stand at the back? You are strong and big, just what we need for an anchor-man at the back." Owl said. Oliphant then stomped happily to the back and wrap her trunk around the animal in front (since she stomped on all four legs >.<).

"Everyone ready? On the count of three... One... Two... Three! Pull!" Fox shouted and all the animals pulled. Fox was holding winnie-the-pooh, so he wouldn't get pulled away, while shouting encouragements to the other animals. "Come on, guys! Just a little more! Come on, guys! Pull!" As the animals pulled, oliphant pulled with all her might and astonishinly, her trunk began to grow! It grew longer... And longer... And longer!

Whoosh! With the combined might of all the animals, the shrunken red shirt came off suddenly and all the animals landed in a heap. Sadly, during the pulling, one animal had grabbed wabbit's tail to pull and most of his tail came off, leaving only a short furry tail. Oliphant's trunk didn't shrink back to its normal length and became its length today.

And that my friends, is why oliphant's trunk is so long, and why wabbit's tail is so short (and to a lesser extent, why winnie-the-pooh now wears a red shrunken shirt >.<). :D
-----

Valentine's Day Dedication to my oliphant:
"There is love that, through its willingness to sacrifice everything, brings hope to the world.
There is love that tries to overcome pride and a lust for power, but fails. The world is darker for its failure, but it is only as a cloud dims the sun. The sun - the love, still remains.
Finally, there is love lost in darkness. Love misplaced, misunderstood, because the lover did not know his - or her - own heart."
Dear, your love for me is the sun. You have brought such hope, light and warmth in my previously cold and hard life. Thank you for loving me so much. I know my own heart and because of that, my love for you is bathed in a light that will always remain. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day, my oling oliphant. *muack!*

Six Days and Counting Down...

With last week and this one, i've been and will be meeting up with my friends. As always, the catching up seems to be always left to the last minute due to the sloth and passive stance from all of us (no lah flowerger, i'm not talking abt the wollongong gang but my other friends, so dun get all paranoid >.<). Time seems to pass so swiftly, so much so that i find it quite hard to believe that i'll be flying back to Oz on Sunday. The frantic packing of my stuff into storage before flying home seems like a distant memory and the bright aussie sunrays beckon. It has been a great holiday back home and i've enjoyed all the gatherings and catch-up sessions. Hopefully, we'll be able to continue this when i fly back after my graduation, which depressingly signals the beginning of my era in the workforce and reservist term. >.<

For all the fun and great food that i've had for the last three months, i do admit that i'm looking forward to being in Oz again. Under my parents' sponsorship (yippee! :D), i've bought my PC parts for Big Banana to assemble for me. *grins* Yes yes, i have an ulterior motive (i can so hear the gasps and see the accusing stares from you guys -.-). My oliphant was already sulking when she heard and saw the 19" LCD monitor that i've bought (she wanted it first >.<). Oops. :D However, there is yet another reason (seriously, i'm not lying >.<). Quite a few weeks back, i was re-watching a documentary, in which the speaker was talking in a background of cafes and sunny weather. In that moment, that background reminded me so much of Oz that i had a sudden longing for it. That feeling still remains in my heart.

To feel the bright sunlight and enveloping warmth, to smell the sea breeze that wafts through your hair, to drink in the open spaces and relaxtion of a slow-paced day. To enjoy each day by every second, every minute, every hour, seeping through your fingers like fine sand and yet not lamenting the lack of time, but slowly savouring it like a fine meal, bite by bite, or the running of sweet wine across your tongue. To have such freedom, go where-ever you want, how-ever you want, when-ever you want. To stroll along a beach, with only the starry moon-lit night sky and the sound of waves as your companions, or across a sunny field with the exchanging of small smiles as strangers pass by, feeling the grass and earth beneath your feet, or along a quiet street with trees casting their shadows across a golden walkway, the distant sounds of kids playing and your footsteps as your companions this time.

man, i miss austraila.

Reminiscing and Chewing over past regrets...

Woke up this morning to get back to work. sighz. it was a extremely long weekend, and one that i certainly enjoyed. its just a teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy depressing to wake up early again to go to work (ok ok, its not a bit, its very >.<). furthermore, my seniors and boss are on leave, so effectively i've got nothing to do for the rest of the day. mind you, i'm not one of those Office-Loafers as written in the newspapers, its just that i genuinely have nothing to do *innocent look* (yes yes, flowerger, you can stop sniggering! >.<).

it was a good chinese new year for me. i met up with my relatives and cousins, and of course gambled away (won $5! yes, its not a lot but at least i won money :p). the wollongong gang came over to my place yesterday and i'm pretty sure we all had a great time. it felt good to see everyone sitting down in my living room, chatting and catching up. the air of togetherness is something i always enjoy and there was an abundance of that yesterday. we got the entire gang to play Shithead as well (to flowerger's obvious delight, i sure >.<) and laughter bubbled out easily. it was really a reminiscence of days back in wollongong and i can't wait to get a flat with my oliphant so that we can resurrect the Friday Gatherings (yes flowerger, then we can play Shithead every week >.<). pardon me, but i'm starting to sound a bit mundane and old with all that recollecting and wishy-washy stuff.

i had to run off with my oliphant to my Student Council's gathering. we were having such a good time that i wished we could have continued and stayed at my place (sounds a bit cliche, but its true >.<). i reached my friend's place late, only to find that i was the second person there. haiz. after so long, the council's habit of late attendence is still prevalent. it was good to see old faces and i think i haven't seen some of them for two years or more. perhaps its becoz of this fact that i started to feel the distance between us. somehow, there is an invisible barrier that prevents me from calling them my close friends. i remember thinking in my JC days that we'll always be good friends, keep in touch and all that stuff/crap/bullshit (choose one, take your pick, they all mean the same >.<), but it seems that this 'prophecy' has failed. am i disappointed? in some way, i guess. you can never have too many friends. but then again, i dun really blame them for that distance that has grown.

first of all, i flew to australia to study and being in another country is hard to keep in touch. secondly, whenever i came back, i joined them occasionally and didn't get all of the gathering invitations. thirdly and perhaps most pressing in my mind, is that my past self wasn't that worthy of a friend. although i didn't know it at that point of time and do know now, i can't name one person that i was close with in the council. as a group, we've been through a lot: planning, working, cheering etc etc. but at the end of our term as a council, i still haven't found someone who i can call a close friend. i guess i was an outcast in some ways due to my immature, childish and lousy attitude and the others avoided me as much as possible. i dun blame them for it as i have only myself to blame. if given the chance, will i go back and change whatever i've done? of course. why shouldn't i? my attitude was poor and i refused to acknowledge the (cold-hard-stark-naked-staring-in-my-face) truth, much less change it in my JC days.

do you guys still have your autograph books from your schooling days? i still have mine and i yanked it out when i finally reached home. as i lay on my bed, i read through the various entries and words start to jump out: loud, violent, attention-seeking. even though there are lines such as 'you are a really great councillor', 'you are a good friend' blah blah blah, i wonder if they really meant it. is it because they feel that they have to write something nice and thus write such lines? if so, i'm not surprised and neither do i blame them for it. i would have prob done the same. when i told my oliphant abt my chewing over past regrets, she replied that as long as i dun carry them too much. with constant meeting-ups and gatherings, memories are revived and the past dreg up. regrets then start to surface again and i chew on them again. the vicious cycle continues.

its almost like i'm behaving like a child/puppy, always desperately seeking approval from my friends. not in the parental sense of approval, but approval in the sense of being popular and well-liked. i really want to get to know my council friends better and hang out with them. but somehow i get the feeling that i'm still being viewed as my past self, who has imposed a horrendous mile-wide gap between us. sure, i have other friends but the same statement comes in again: you can never have too many friends. i want to make up for my past deeds and i really want to show that i'm not the same as before but i'm not sure if i'll ever get a chance to do so. or maybe i haven't really changed and my past self simmers at the surface. i wonder how the rest of my friends view me now. on and on, the downward spiral of depression turns and throws up the dirt of regrets and memories.

if you have read till this far, i applaud for your steadfastness in reading this happy-turned-depressive post *standing ovation amid whistles and calls of "steady lah!" and "power man!"*. i have my oliphant and i'm happy as i can be. i have someone who loves me and i love her in return. sure, there are things that i hope will change for the better. but then again, who doesn't have any? in the meantime, i'll enjoy as much as i can in this life and live my life with my oliphant. regrets can be underrated or over-rated, but they can be useful and make one a better person sometimes.

Is that your final answer?

I think there is saying somewhere that goes something like this: some of life's major decisions are made on the spur of the moment, and take only an instant to decide.

well, looks like i'm heading back home to (the claustrophic, congested, noisy, kai-su, tiny-island-in-the-middle-of-nowhere) Singapore after i graduate. time to join the singapore rat-race with flowerger, kinky nomad and the rest of the wollongong gang.

oh yah. wishing you guys a Happy Chinese New Year. may your ang-baos always be full and your gambling rivals lose money! *grins* :D

P.S:
1. the never-ending story is still waiting for anyone to continue. the post is below, so pls click on the link to read the latest update. :p
2. cheers to the Addicks who drew with Chelsea! let the mighty Jose Mourinho falter and fear!
3. cheers also to Man Utd who won narrowly with Liverpool. Kudos to a Reds masterly defence!

In memory of our departed loved ones...

This song is dedicated to those who have missed their departed loved ones. as friends, we will always be there for each other thru the good and bad times. do not mourn for those who die fulfilling their destinies. they have given much to us, and we can repay them by living our lives to the fullest and their memory in our hearts.

One Sweet Day by Boyz II Men
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say

P.S: *control tower, control tower, this is SQ-WLLG (short for wollongong >.<) taking off, permission to use the run-way* flowerger and the rest fly plane sia. today suppose to go chinatown to look look see see. but everyone is tired, so the gathering's off. i'm still feeling ok and i might still head out with my oliphant, depending if she has recovered from her flu. *grins* the advantages of youth, i suppose. :D

The Never-Ending Story Comic Strip?!

At the request of flowerger (please click on the picture for a closer view >.<). lol... what a pity the comic strip generator doesn't have colour. as our dear friend, john kwok, would say ,"aye, this is nonsense lah. cancel lah arh, cancel. cancellation." :D

any other requests? *grins*

The Never-Ending Story Part Two

So far, the response to the pilot episode has been pretty good (drawing viewership of abt 10 comments >.<). thus, (by the powers invested in me as the story director >.<) i have decided to continue along with the story. i think you can tell who had contributed by reading each section (i.e. gay-ness by flowerger *cough cough*, pink stuff by pinkys etc etc >.<). lol... anyway, the story so far is as follows:

its was a warm and sunny day. adam was out with his girlfriend, adeline, walking his dog, bones. then suddenly, adam turned to adeline and said..."honey i have been keeping this from you for a while that...well its not you. i met someone...he is real nice. we get along very well. and we are moving in together soon."

teary-eyed, adeline embraces adam and whispers,"i know. thats why i poisoned your breakfast." "what?! nnoo... how could you do this to me, you witch?!" adam croaks out as he slumps to the floor. sensing the death of his master, bones gave a mournful howl and as if on cue, a flock of ravens filled the air...

and right on cue he wakes up with no recollection of the last 10 mintues. straightening his horribly crumpled shirt (dying can do that to your clothes), he continues "don't you ever wonder how strange it is that our names both start with 'a'?"

"you stupid man!" adeline screeches, "you are suppose to die! stupid poison! i bought it for $98.00 on ebay and it doesn't work! now i have to iron your bloody shirt!" in her fit of fustration, she whips out a pocketknife and slashes wildly at him. unbeknown to her, ... ...

came adam's boyfriend, everett. he grab the knife from adeline and stab her instead, many times. "take this woman. how dare you do this to my adam." little known to everett, adeline has magical powers that she cannot be hurt from the stabbing of knives. both of them get into physical fight. adam nursing his wounds relax one corner and watch the fight.

"whoa there!" came a shout. everett and adeline paused in the middle of their fight, turning in the direction of the yell. someone dressed in red, blue and lots of black lines, swooped down. that someone is... ...spiderman! "this is your neighbourhood friendly spiderman. now then, what seems to be the problem?" spiderman asks as he stands crossed-arms, in between the awe-struck pair... ...

spidey to adeline "told you not many times not to date that loser. why can't you listen to me for once??" spidey fuming mad kick everett in the stomach and gave adam a tight slap on the face. "now adeline let kor take you home. its time you embrace this power of yours and join me. we can become the spider siblings." adeline took her kor's hand and went home with him.

and along came the PINK SUPERGIRL, wearing four shades of pink on her cape, her outside underwear, her boots with deadly pointed heels, and pink hair!! Shouted Pinky Supergirl, "You moronic good-for-noting-spider!! You said you loved me!!! U!! U!!!" She flashes her pink powers and pinkinised everybody - no one was spared. they died due to rude shock of bright pinky power....

however, the huge ironic hand of fate struck once again. When Adeline stabbed adam, she unknowingly transferred a tiny bit of her immune-to-stab-wounds power to adam. Jolted by the sudden pink power, both powers combined and mutated to enhance adam's normal body. He becomes... ...the new Pink Power Ranger! Adam rushes to everett's side, weeping as his lover drew his last breath ,"I shall avenge, my darling, I promise you!" filled with calm resolve, he takes to the sky, scattering the ravens that had flocked earlier, and finds... ...

and the story marches on (dragging along everyone in its wake >.<). continue, anyone? lol...

Its alive! Its ALIVE!! ITS ALIVE!!!

It worked!!! the letter actually worked! Woohoo! for the first time in days, i get to see the sun! yippee!

*cast eyes heaven-ward* dear Weather God sir, thank you ssoo much for reading my letter and granting my/our pleas. to show my gratitude, i shall offer my undying loyalty and service as your priest and spread the word of your existence. *kowtows* in addition, i shall build an altar and offer a sacrifice of dinner for you tonight. once again, a thousand thanks, Weather God sir.

hhmm... maybe next time i shall offer a blood sacrifice in the form of a nice plump virgin (as all legends and myths go >.<). *looks around* flowerger, you up for it? or maybe you, pinkys? joking. *grins* :D

A Letter to the Weather God

Dear Weather God sir,

First and foremost, let me tell you how important you are, in our pitiful lives. during the course of history, you have seen our attempts in self-extinction and self-destruction. you have also seen our achievements and glories. empires rose and fell under your glaze. throughout all, you have granted us the proper conditions and environments for us to flourish (and breed like rabbits >.<). without your favour, we would have surely died and the word 'homo-sapiens' might not be invented.

next, let me ask you this: are you out of your freakin' mind?! it has been gloomy and rainy for the past week! what the hell are you doing?! are you slacking off somewhere and letting your assistant do your job? (becoz if thats true, your assistant is doing one hell of a bad-ass-job and you better get your ass to completing your responsiblities!) or are you currently training your eventual replacement/successor? (if so, i think its time you step in and stop the on-job-training!) darn it, sir. let us see some sun, please? on behalf on all singaporeans and all that is good and holy, please please, give us some sun. i swear you are trying to hint to me that i need to bring an umbrella to work (since each time i knock off, there is always rain, be it a drizzle or a shower >.<). furthermore, various parts of asia are suffering under sudden cold spells. australia is always on the verge of a perpetual drought. if i may be so bold to suggest, sir: let australia have our rain for the time being and divert the cold spells to Down Under. whole species are dying from the summer heat wave in Oz and i'm sure they would welcome some relief, of which we are only too glad to give them in exchange for some sunshine.

in conclusion, i sincerely urge you to consider my suggestion and hear my/our pleas. we really really need some sun. if you do not give us some sun soon, singapore would soon turn into a country of lethargic, shivering kia-su people who would form massive queues for jumpers and umbrellas. we won't want that to happen now, would we? oh wait, it has already happen (at least for the 'kia-su' and 'massive queues' part >.<).

yours truly,
a desperate-for-some-sun blogger

*looks out from the window* darn it, the rain hasn't stop. letter not effective. *crushes letter, throws it over shoulder* (-.-) haiz... maybe i should try a rain-stopping dance. hhmm... >.<

The Never-Ending Story Part One

Have you guys ever played the game 'Continue the Story'? this is how its basically played: somebody starts off by writing the first few lines of a story (like 'danny was out with his girlfriend, walking his dog.') then someone else takes over by writing his/her lines of a story (like 'suddenly gozilla appears!' >.<) it could be one or three sentences, just as long as its not one humongous big paragraph. -.-

i was wondering if i should try it out on blogger. i could write the starting few lines of a story and you guys could continue from there via comments. lol... will be interesting to see where the story goes, based on our combined imginations. :D

here is the pilot episode (hence, depending on 'audience ratings', i might discard this idea >.<):
its was a warm and sunny day. adam was out with his girlfriend, adeline, walking his dog, bones. then suddenly, adam turned to adeline and says,"... ...
(pls continue from here, lol... >.<)

And the Icy Blade is deflected by the Shield of Reasoning...

through the warnings and persuasion of my oliphant, i have deleted my previous post. i DO admit that it was unworthy of me and i shouldn't have done it. i'm truly sorry for those who felt offended and i offer a thousand apologies.

on a happier note, i finally got a pair of new shoes. the previous light-brown ones had been worn out in a shockingly short space of time. think its becoz of the way i walk. i tend to put my heels down first as i walk (or also known as 'digging' for those who have been in the army or uniform groups before). blame it on my 4 years in the National Cadet Corps (Sea) and my 2.5 years in the army lah. haiz... after so much marching and drilling, i can't help but 'dig' as i walk (this aspect of my walking has helped me gone through quite a number of shoes). :p in addition, it appears that my previous pair had a 'hollow' rubber sole (as opposed to a 'solid' rubber sole >.<). so once the bottom layer was worned out, it was just a matter of time before i have a hole at the heel portion. sighz...

in addition, i have also bought three shirts with my oliphant at the Topman store at Suntec. yep, me and my second self went shopping! lol... we initally went shopping yesterday at orchard, but couldn't find anything to my satisfaction. got kinda depressed at the end, coz i was all ready to shop and buy my stuff for CNY (plus i needed new shoes before my feet decided to sulk and rebel on me with all the walking in the rain and puddles -.-). so this shopping trip at suntec was fruitful and i'm all happy with my new stuff. Woohoo! lol...

P.S: to my oliphant, thanks for putting up with my moodiness that day. *hugz and muacks!* hee... :D

The First Post of Twenty-Oh-Six

My first post of 2006. my feelings currently? melancholy. deep, slow sadness, weary and languorous. i can't explain why.

perhaps (and most probably >.<) its becoz i stayed up till 12am (or was it 11.30pm? can't remember), reading 'American Gods' and being the 'day-bird' that i am, i didn't get my normal intake of sleep. its quite a good book, although it somehow takes up alot of my brain juice to keep up with the story.

or perhaps its becoz on the way to work, i saw the multitude of kids/teenagers on the way to their first day of school. i thought back to my secondary school days and i thought of the ease and comfort i felt at that period of my life. did i really feel that way? i can't be sure. have i ever felt out of place before? i dunnoe.

or maybe its becoz i had the strangest dream (last night? or was it the night before? i can't remember -.-). i dreamt of someone dressed in a white and brown robe, and with a gentle command, "soft", cause a ring (with diagonal lines along its band and with an open end) to rise and catch it with his (or her? can't remember) palm facing down. in that same dream, i dreamt of another monk-like person, sitting and meditating on a concrete perch, and below was a square pool of water. i remember the former someone (who commanded the ring to rise and catch it with a palm facing down) telling me that the latter someone (who is meditating on the perch) is training. as i approach, i see an image/illusion being cast onto the square pool below. an image not unlike the art of an austrailan aboriginal, with black and different shades of brown, coupled with thick outlines of white. and somehow, in that dream, i understood why he was training when the former someone said,"now you know why he trains".

or perchance its becoz i found out that i can't go to caffeine addict's house gathering on wed, becoz its my father's birthday and i have to go for a family dinner to celebrate. its disappointing, to say the least. i was looking forward to seeing her, my oliphant and the rest of the wollongong gang.

sigh... such tumultuous and conflicting mix of emotions. 2006. what a way to start the new year. then again, i never believe that the start of a new year would symbolise and represent what the new year would become. neither do i believe in new year resolutions for i live my life as it is, take events as they come, and make my decisions when needed. i'm not making sense, am i?

Boy-Girl-Relationship

Check these articles that MSN have on their website: 5 Guys that Gals should date, and 5 Gals that Guys should date.

i think thats absolute bollocks. you dun need to learn all of life's lessons through a partner. a guy can learn that sex is not everything by dating a seductress (read: nympho >.<). duh?! of course sex isn't everything. any man who thinks sex is everything, should be locked up and have the words 'sex maniac' branded/stamped on his forehead. a gal can learn life's values by dating a older guy (read: sugar daddy >.<). wtf?! you can learn this stuff from examining your own or others' lives. any woman that dates an older guy just to learn life's values should be locked up along with the 'sex maniac' and have the words 'bimbo' stamped/branded on her forehead. if one's reason/s for entering a relationship is anything other than affection or love, it would seem hypocritical to me. i think such a relationship would only end in painful separation.

Honestly. *shakes head* what's with the world these days? it seems to me that every single webpage has adverts or posters screaming 'find that special someone!' or 'boost your love life!'. we live in sad times, my friends, we live in sad times. haiz...

oh yeah, and A Happy New Year to all of you! see ya guys next year. :)

Fingers-and-Toes-Crossed

I've just realised how much fun it is to play/muck around with html tags. kinda interesting to type codes/tags in and see the results they produce (not that i like to produce the ENTIRE code by myself >.<). when using simple html tags in the 'comments' section of Blogger, it gives me a tiny warm feeling of satisfaction to see it produced the way i want it to (ok ok, i'm starting to hear calls of 'control-freak', better stop >.<).

in relation to the above paragraph, i've rummage through the entire html code of my Blogger template and added a new section: Other Blogs that i read (yes yes, i'm very proud of myself -.-). so far, all of them are Big Banana's friends and i hope they won't be offended that i link my blog to theirs. they are those that i consistently read, mainly becoz i feel that they are really interesting.

• Naughty Girl: otherwise known as Adrienne/Adrenaline, her posts are interesting and uncommon.
• Animal Nut: otherwise known as Becky, her posts are humorous and lace with irony.
• Purple Monster: otherwise known as Barneysaurus, his posts are just plain funny, even the name is funny already. :p
• Green Monster: otherwise known as Green Orge, his posts are cool.

perhaps i'll add more when i've found other interesting blogs too. like i say, i fervently hope they aren't offended that i've linked them to my blog. will be depressing if they ARE offended and ditch their current blogs to make another one, in efforts to remain in anonymity (if you are reading this and want me to remove the link, DO tell me via comments and i'll do so straightaway).

Tis' the season to be jolly: A weekend aftermath

A friday of laughter and games at my company's christmas lunch (A sorry looking reindeer and christmas 'scarecrow' was the result of A 'dress-up' game >.<). after A handing in of time-slips to the job agency, A surprise visit to my oliphant's workplace with A bag of (long-queued-and-waiting) Famous Amos chocolate-chip-macadamia cookies, and to give her heart and encouragment for the christmas crowd. :)

A saturday tim sum buffet lunch with my oliphant's folks at Teahouse, China Square. A 'Narnia' movie screening at Shaw Tower. A night of renewing intimacy with my oliphant.

A 7am wet sunday morning rush to my oliphant's workplace. A belly full of fire after A family dinner of codfish curry fishhead at Toa Payoh and A monday full of slacking.

yes, it was A good weekend. :)

P.S: i saw on telly the christmas crowd at orchard and shuddered. a few people who were interviewed, talked abt enjoying themselves, the chrstmas spirit and buying last-minute presents. how on earth can you enjoy yourself when you have push, shove and bull-doze your way to the huge throng of inconsiderate shoppers, gawkers and by-standers? Sheesh. (-.-)

Ho Ho Ho...

Went out for dinner on saturday with my oliphant, flowerger, judess and the rest of the wollongong gang (yes flowerger, its wollongong gang not gong gang, the latter sounds too cheesy >.<). SOMEONE told us the meeting place would be at Shaw Tower *glares at flowerger, can see flowerger glaring sullenly back*, and didn't further clarify that its at bugis, not orchard (actually its partly my fault for not knowing and clarifying with flowerger beforehand, but edmund and judess also got confused, so i guess flowerger has to take some blame for it >.<). in any case, the meeting time was 7.30pm and my oliphant drove by to pick me up before heading down. due to the confusion and traffic jams, we got to Shaw-Lido at abt 8ish before realising that it was the wrong Shaw (yes yes flowerger, i can see you protesting vociferously your innocence but humour me lah >.<). so we helter-skelter out and made our way to the proper Shaw, by which it was already close to 9ish. sighz. off to a bad start, but it sure didn't dampen the mood throughout the rest of the night. :)

it was good to see all of them and i really enjoyed chatting and catching up. as a result, i honestly didn't notice the crappy service by the restaurant. it was only after mi and oliphant's ordering of our late dinners, were we told of the long waiting times and small portions (no flowerger, its not your fault for choosing a bad restaurant). tired of waiting for the smokers to come back (can see judess blushing in the corner >.<), we sang and celebrated jess's and roy's birthday without them. then came the exchanging of pressies. i got a blue doggy mug from rosie and my oliphant got chocolates from judess (think it should be gone by now *grins*). i think judess got my oliphant's car keychain, rosie got a chicken clock (from who ah? i dunnoe leh, can someone clarify?) and flowerger obtain a male's cologne, which she exchanged for a female's perfume with joshua (think someone is trying to tell u something, flowerger *sniggers* >.<) Ali helped pay for our dinner and we were grateful for that *shouts out a huge 'thank you' to Ali*.

as we headed out whilst still chatting, i caught sight of the good-nature bickering between the girls. my oliphant was 'jealous' becoz flowerger and judess were a 'couple' (they were hugging each other >.<). after further claims of being a 'lesbo couple', my oliphant got even more 'jealous' (coz no one invited her >.<), stomp her tiny foot, cock her hips while 'glaring' at the offending 'couple' (who 'strangely' looked indifferent >.<). she looked so 'angry' but adorable then and i would always remember that sight with a smile on my lips. the 'couple' finally relented and had a group hug with all the girls in, squeezing flowerger to a pulp. *grins* it seemed like a really long time since i saw them hugging each other, the last time being back in wollongong, i think. anyway, it sure represented our mood and the good time that we were having.

went for sheesha thereafter at arab street with judess leading the way (she's 'expert' already, being there so many times :p). after much cajoling and persuasion, mummy's girl: flowerger decided to stay with us a bit longer. as we continued to chat and talk crap till 2ish, flowerger showed further signs of her 'closet lesbian' nature by displaying her matching keychains and handphones with rosie (be afraid, pinkys, be very afraid >.<). being past her bedtime, flowerger had a headache and left for home ealier in a mercedes cab (think she must be sssooo happy to go home in a mercedes sia >.<). my oliphant then gave roy, judess and edmund a lift home, travelling nearly round the whole singapore. with edmund in telok balang (near World Trade Centre), yishun-boy roy, judess in hougang, my house in tanah merah, my oliphant must have had a tiring night driving all of us before heading back to her home in clementi. much of the journey can be best described in the directional instructions 'just keep going straight'. >.<

i had a bbq with my relatives on sunday and my poor oliphant, who didn't sleep coz she didn't feel like doing so, join me after her work. my female cousins came with their boyfriends and my younger bro's girlfriend turned up as well. i caught a sight where my cousins and me with our partners feeding each other during the bbq dinner. it struck me how much we have grown over the years and i felt a sense of togetherness, which i rarely felt before among my extended family. i really hope that my 'generation' (meaning my cousins, brother etc etc) would be able to continue the tradition of getting together. my oliphant had to be bullied/shooed into bed after being caught napping on the sofa. played mahjong with my bro and cousins till the end before fetching my grandmother, uncle and oliphant home at the end of the night.

all in all, it was a good weekend. i had a great time and thanks to flowerger for organising it (yah lah yah lah flowerger, i'm thanking you, i'm not all that shameless, y'know >.<). it was good and comforting to see all of us together and catching up on each other's lives. although there were occasional times where i could see a bored expression on some of us, i think i can safely say that we had enjoyed ourselves. 2005 is coming to a close and a brand new year looms on the horizon. looking back, it has been good year and i wonder what fortunes the next year will bring. ah well, let tomorrow worry for itself for each day has enough troubles of its own. oh yah, Merry Christmas to all of ya! :)

Friends and Time

Yesterday, i re-enrolled for my last session in my BE(Mechanical). 2006. has it been that long? have i really spent that long a period in Oz? the last time i checked, it was only 2002 when i enrolled for the first time, being introduced to Flowerger and Caffeine Addict, looking around Australia and the University with wide-eyed wonder, probably acting and looking like an idiot and suaw-ku. of coz, things haven't changed much since. i still meet up with flowerger and caffeine addict (to their eternal regret >.<), no longer look around with wide-eyed wonder, but with dull-eyed interest and i'm still an idiot (i'm sure flowerger will agree vehemently on this >.<).

has it really been three and half years since then? darn... where does time go? an answer to my own question: either in front of us, or behind us, depending on how you look at it. see? i'm still behaving like an idiot, answering my own questions (i can see flowerger nodding her head so violently it looks like its gonna fall off >.<)

but seriously, i can't believe it has been close to four years that i've spent in Oz and knowing all of my friends. in six months, i will graduate (hopefully, and barring any unforeseen circumstances *trying to grab some wood to touch*) and join the workforce (better term for 'rat-race'). sheesh. now i wish i can continue studying. i'm absolutely dreading, detesting and not looking forward to waking up early every morning. (-.-)

it has been a good three and a half years and it was my pleasure and honour to meet all of you (yes yes, you too, flowerger, and stop trying to look over your shoulder!). hugs (hugs only, judess, no kisses, not even under a mistletoe :p) and thanks for putting up with me, my inital and presently-sometimes-relapsing kan-chiong-ness, my blurness and idiot-ness (all right all right, flowerger and pinkys, stop beating it to the ground, dammit! >.<). i'm grateful for knowing all of you and most especially, my oling oliphant. i count those years and the up-coming ones as the happiest time of my life. i've found the wife of my heart and friends who will be there when i need them (hopefully! >.<).

all right. now that we've gotten that out of the way, do i get bigger christmas presents/angbaos? *grins* ok, i better run. (i can see flowerger leading pinkys, judess and the others, advancing on me with grim faces, now scrabbling and running for my life).

*throwing a shout while racing away* see ya guys tomorrow at gathering! :)

Money is the root of all evil. And yet...

A few weeks back on my way to work, my mother was talking to me as i drove (actually 'nagging' would come closer >.<). she was discussing her worry about my younger bro's girlfriend who has had a brain tumor removed before and may experience a relapse. my uncle (who is my mother's elder brother) has a wife, who currently has a second-stage cancer. my mother's point was this: that although it is our lives and our choice on who we choose as our mate, it is ultimately fate that decides everything. therefore on that point, my mother was worried that the impact of any relapse on my brother's girlfriend, will affect my brother's life and force him to adopt a less 'successful' life, not unlike my before-mentioned uncle who has owns a factory and could have more 'successful' if not for his wife. at that point of time, i mentally scorn and dismiss her view. i thought to myself: what about love? is love not more important that being 'successful'? love would prevail against all odds and is foremost, in my opinion.

last friday, i had to attend a funeral on my parents' behalf. one of my grandmother's god-sister died and i drove there with my grandmother, uncle (another one of my mother's younger brother, not the before-mentioned one) and aunt (my mother's elder sister). being a representative of my parents and not being particularly close to the deceased (i only see her during chinese new year), most of my time was spend sitting with my mouth closed, eyes and ears open. some of my mother's family (meaning my uncles and aunts) attended and i could seriously picture how they were when my uncles and aunts were young. one of my aunts initally looked like she was going to unleash the water-works ('cry' for the ignoramus >.<), but looked better after much chatting. i talked with my uncle most of time and answered the occasional usual qustions thrown at me by the other relatives (like what i'm studying and what year i'm in >.<). my uncle half-jokingly suggested that i become a plumber so as to better my chances of obtaining the australian PR, and to earn better money. i rebutted his claim and said that to do so would waste my time and expenses of the four years of university education. the following is more or less the conversation after:

uncle: yes yes. i'm not saying that you are wasting your time in university. all i'm saying is that you should keep an open mind when you look for your job.
me: then you could have said it better, isn't it? for example, you could have asked me first what i liked to do, and then suggested that i do that, instead of suggesting plumbing.
(momentary pause for a second or so)
uncle: i think you and i are different. for me, i would do anything and any job, so long as i survive. and you focus on what you like to do instead. i think its because of the times that i lived in. we were really poor when young and our priority was survival. your priority is liking what you do. granted, liking what you do is important as your work would become easier. but given me a choice, i would rather do any job, go through life and at the end of it, say to myself: hey, i survived. i fed and supported my family. thats whats important.

for a moment, i sat there stunned. i have heard of the often debatable issue on whether money is everything, and i've always sided the view that money is NOT everything. but after those chats with my mother and uncle, i start to wonder otherwise. is the drive and ambition is to have more money, that sinful and wrong? if the reason behind doing so, is to survive and support the family, would that make it wrong as well? we are talking about SURVIVAL: the basic and instinctive human nature to kick and strain for your life. the base emotion that all animals have and drives them to struggle in a hunter's trap and net, to run/fly/swim their fastest when pursued by a predator. the willingness in everyone to take on, fight and battle anyone who threatens.

i truly wonder now...

What?

I think there is a guardian angel for each and every one of us. they protect us from certain death, danger and possible dismemberment. and depending on you, your guardian angel might be working overtime, slacking, having a holiday or working part-time. kinda like a muse, really.

last night, i thank my guardian angel for saving my sorry ass a few times. and i dun think this is the first time either. thinking back on my life, there were any number of times, including tonight, that i had close shaves.

perhaps i should start making offerings to my guardian angel. hhmm...

Who?

"Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. and some people just act on any whim that enters their heads.

I pragmatically turn my whims into principles." - Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

Why?

There are times when you hear certain stories abt things happening to others, you think to yourself: hey, it happened to 'other people', not me. but when it happens to you, all of a sudden you become the 'other people', and your illusion of life gets stripped away.

your head and emotions are in a whirl, somehow trying to disbelieve the news but the stark and naked truth stares at you point-blank. you start thinking if you should re-assess your life's goal and future. you stare at a distance, stoning and your heart grows heavier with depair.

somehow, life has become less certain after all.