A man’s home is his castle. But it shouldn’t have to be a fortress.

It doesn't get any easier when you visit the Mandai Crematorium for the second time.

The final shutting of the door. The soul-rending wail of despair. The last good-byes. The heart-breaking moments. The moment when you realise that the person is gone forever.

The touch of death is cruel and heartless. When it touches your extended family, you are left cold and hollow inside.

When it finally touches my family, I really don't know how I will be able to cope.

二舅母, commend me to God when you see Him. May you rest in peace and enjoy Heaven's grace.

I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

This video was done by a group of researchers called Shift Happens. It really does show us how much has changed and that we are truly living in exponential times.

Below is their latest video for 2009.

A house with a tiger is never a home.

As she slept peacefully beside me, i gaze upon her beautiful face. She looked so contented and happy.

That image of peace, tranquility, beauty and bliss.

It will forever be burned in my mind.

I love her.

Tuesdays don’t start much worse than this.

I have been thinking about something lately. Something quite extraordinary, and perhaps frightening, happened to me during my diving trip at Pulau Redang.

As divers, we each carry an air tank to breathe underwater. Obviously, there is a limit to how much air you can bring down and how long you can stay underwater. Some of these factors include your weights, your breathing technique and the dive depth.

For obvious safety reasons, we are usually told that at 50 psi, we must inform the Dive Master that we're running out of air. The Dive Master will then usually make plans for surfacing soon after.

However, during my first dive at Pulau Redang, i did not inform my Dive Master that i had reached 50psi.

In fact, i only informed him when i reached 0psi.

I remembered that i was thinking to myself when i reached 50psi: Its only a little bit further. I want to see more, dive more. I don't want to spoil the experience for others. I can still breathe, so its no big deal.

Even when i reached 0psi, i still didn't panic and thought to myself: Hey, i still can breathe. Its ok. I should be able to make it.

What i didn't know, was that i was slowly slipping towards eventual death. I was slowly losing consciousness, and my movements were slow and lethargic. I was in that particular mental state where you are just on the brink of sleeping: You are aware of your surroundings and yet, somehow not. Everything is hazy and you don't seem to have the energy to move quickly.

The Dive Master was shocked when i indicated i had 0psi left and he indicated immediately for us to surface. He also gave me additional air from his tank.

Once i had breathed from his air tank, everything came back with a sharp focus. My air-starved brain started working immediately, and i surfaced with the rest with no problems. Once on the surface, i got a scolding from my friends and the Dive Master.

Now that i'm here and have done some thinking of my own, i shudder to think of what might happened. I might have lost consciousness without anyone knowing the true reason. I might have decided to take a short nap and never wake up. I might have died without even knowing.

All in all, it was definitely my own fault that i didn't inform the Dive Master. I should not have taken the risk and should have indicated to him early on.

I definitely would not want to try that again: the fatality of Death's alluring call and experience of slipping to Death's Doorway.

My parents’ idea of a wild night is to mix a scoop of real coffee in with the decaf.

No gentleman should ever hit a woman. Domestic violence is just a vicious cycle repeating itself over and over again.

Dignity and Respect. Two values which has been lost in today's society.

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

---

Happy National Day, everyone.

I think night time is dark so you can imagine our fears with less distraction.

"Airplanes"
(feat. Hayley Williams of Paramore)

[Chorus: Hayley Williams (B.o.B)]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now

[Verse 1: B.o.B]
Ya, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you starin' at that phone in your lap
And you hopin' but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So we're playin' airplane, sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

[Chorus: Hayley Williams (B.o.B)]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

[Verse 2: B.o.B]
Ya, ya, somebody take me back to the days
Befo' this was a job, befo' I got paid
Befo' it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Ya, back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But nowadays we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta' airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll back to the days
Befo' the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listen to my mixtape
And back befo' I tried to cover up my slang
But this is fo' the hater, what's up Bobby Ray?
So can I get a wish
To end the politics
And get back to the music
That started this shit?
So here I stand and then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta' airplanes

[Chorus: Hayley Williams (B.o.B)]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

[Outro: B.o.B]
I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
Like, like, like shootin' stars
(Like shootin' stars)
I-I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
A wish, a wish right now
(A wish right now)

This is one of those things you always figure will happen to someone else. Unfortunately, we’re ALL “someone else” to someone else.

“It was so instantly clear that I wondered how I could not have seen it.
Then I knew.
Each time I had studied the board, I wondered how it could have got into such a sorry condition. All I had seen were the senseless moves that had preceded mine. But those moves had no longer mattered, once I hold the black stone in my hand.”
- “Assassin’s Quest” by Robin Hobb

Why is it that everyone seeks accountability? Even when the event is plainly accidental and is an act of nature? Even when the fault lies not with others, but with themselves?

To me, accountability is just another excuse to pin the blame on someone else. Do you really think that people are interested to know what went wrong? Do you really think people are curious to find out why?

I think not.

The flooding in Singapore was an act of nature. The amount of rain was tremendous and we should count ourselves fortunate that most of our sewers were well-designed and are able to cope.

But no.

Everyone focuses on the troubled area. Everyone looks at the flooding and asks "Why?".

Our teachers educate, guide and inspire our young. They impart valuable knowledge and life skills to our children. And yet, when the children disrespects the teacher, the teacher is powerless to do anything because the children will complain to their parents. Who will in turn complain to the principal, the Ministry and even the Prime Minister if need be.

And yet, the parents blame the teachers when the child misbehaves.

I really do think our society's behavior, mannerisms and ethics are degrading.

What happened to Respect? What happened to Self-Responsibility? What happened to the Human Touch?

It appears that no one knows the meaning, nor practise these words anymore.

“‘A man sees the darkness coming and he fears only for himself,’ Harald remarked. ‘He never thinks of others.’
‘And if he does think of others, too often he says, ‘Let them fend for themselves’, Laurana added sadly.”
- “Dragons of the Highlord Skies” by Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman

At 7.00am, Mom’s not very philosophical.

We wanted to catch the sunrise at Changi Beach.

But we ended up catching mostly clouds and a few orange streaks across the dawning sky.

Sigh...

Better luck next time.

Don’t you hate it when your boogers freeze?

When you dive, you enter another world.

A watery world of silence. A world of vivid colors and shapes.

A world which teems with life. Endless wonders which you marvel at. Graceful fishes and marine life swim by, sketching a beautiful ballet in the circle of life.

And that is the reason why i dive: To see such graceful marine life in their natural habitat. It really is a sight to behold.

The worst part is that I don’t even have the fun of doing the stuff I’m getting blamed for.

"I don't want the public to see the world they live in while they're in the Park (Disneyland). I want to feel they're in another world."
- Walt Disney on Disneyland

And so, i turn another year older among much friends, laughter and silliness.

Most importantly, i spent it with her.

"It has that thing - the imagination, and the feeling of happy excitement - I knew when I was a kid."
- Walt Disney on Disneyland

Ahh… The perfect slushball! Hard enough to sting, yet sloppy enough to dribble down the collar and soak the undergarments.

Aside from the fact that the Dutch driver actually said, "Check my car, is my car ok?", i believe i would have rushed over to help the fainting grid girl as well.

In fact, i think most men would. xD

I wonder what happens if you throw up in zero gravity.

“‘Now I know why they call you “Holy Belgarath”,’ he said.

‘Don’t mix “Holy” and “money”, Talvar. You’ll get in trouble if you do.’”
- “Belgarath the Sorcerer” by David and Leigh Eddings

Precisely. Money and religion shouldn't ever mix.

Furthermore, when your affairs become so huge and involve so many people, you have to be prepared for more questions and scrutiny.

Good luck to you if you aren't prepared or didn't foresee it.

Whenever I need to do some serious thinking, I go for a walk in the woods. There are always a million distractions out here.

I don't know about you, but i think that building looks like it came straight out of the NOD base in Command & Conquer. O.O

I don't need parents. All I need is a recording that says, "Go play outside!"

"Haven't Met You Yet"

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to loose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it's half timin and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazin
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all’s fair in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazin
And bein in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get

Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get yeah
I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid to give so much more than I get
I said love love love love love love love
I just haven't met you yet

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Remember this?

Well, i got my revenge.

Her: My student brought his toy to class today.

Me: What toy is it?

Her: Its called Ben 10. It looks like a watch and you can wear it on your wrist. Apparently, the cartoon character wearing the "watch" can turn into different monsters.

Me: Ah ok. So something like you lah.

Her: *glares at me*

Me: You can turn into durian monster, sashimi monster...

---

You know you will definitely fail your IPPT when she treats your tummy like a separate living entity.

Back to RT, i suppose. Sigh... -__-

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

Me: Who is more important: Me or the durian?

Her: You.

Me: ^^

Her: ... Because you can buy me durian.

Me: -__-

Her: ... And satay. And sashimi. And sushi. And Yami Yogurt. And...

Me: -_____-

The forensics marvel has reduced my logic to shambles.

Apparently, this commercial is banned in the States for reasons i don't understand.

She might be a little bit bigger than an average Victoria Secret's model, but i think she's hawt. As to any suggestive underlying message, i reckon there isn't much difference with a typical Victoria Secret's ad.

I think its more important that a woman is confident about herself and looks healthy.

I feel a big sneeze welling up, which is always a sure sign that I’m not carrying a handkerchief.

"T-Shirt"

Hey

[Verse 1]
Try'na decide Try'na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how ta

Gonna be late Gonna be late
But, all my girls don't have to wait 'cause
I dont know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet

[Chorus]
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

Hey

[Verse 2]
Gotta be strong gotta be strong but Im
Really hurtin now that you're gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and

Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it

[Chorus]
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin' you

Im'a step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
('cause I missed you, 'cause I missed you)
With nothing but your T-shirt on
(said I missed you ... baby)

[Repeated On Verse 2]
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment I'm stripped down, torn up about it

[Half Chorus]
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

[Chorus]
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

[Song Ending]
nothing but your T-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your T-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your T-shirt on

The world is a complicated place. Whenever it seems that way, I’ll take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Thus all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
- “Heroes Die” by Matthew Woodring Stover

Change is inevitable. It will happen, one way or another, whether we like it or not.

But as we grow older, we start to dislike change. It is because the familiar things start to disappear: taking away our childhood, our memories and our past.

But no matter how much we dislike it, we must struggle against our instincts and learn to embrace change.

Only by changing, can we improve ourselves and our outlook in life.

Because if we don't change, we will still be living in caves wearing bear skins and communicate by grunting.

“The mind that will not admit it has something more to learn tomorrow is in danger of stagnating”
- “Dragonsinger: Harper of Pern” by Anne McCaffrey

I’m not a vegetarian. I’m a dessertarian.

I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I'm sure