Two part slush, one part solid ice. One part hard-packed snow, a dash of assorted debris. Sculpt into sphere, & serve at high velocity without warning

After serving the country for almost three weeks in the flies-kangaroo-wallaby infested land of Down Under, there are a few ideas which i've thought and encountered.

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Firstly, when serving the country, we men automatically degrade our language. We start to curse and swear with no discrimination. We use vulgarities like punctuations. Its almost as if the restraints of courtesy and manners have been unleashed and our true selves appear. As one of my officers remarked, "Army without swearing, just doesn't seem right. It just doesn't seem to work."


Secondly, when serving the country, we men automatically turn horny. Its probably due to the all-guys environment. Whenever a female is in our vicinity, provided she's not fugly moderately looking, we start behaving like wolves eying a lone sheep or lamb. It doesn't matter whether we're attached or married, we will start mentally undressing leering admiring the woman. FHM and Maxim magazines are always available in abundance, and are perused with wide eyes and bated breaths. They are usually returned to the disgusted owner in a condition so soggy and worn out that it makes you wonder what your friends have done with them.


Thirdly, after being outfield for approximately 7 days, we men can go a little crazy. One fine example was one of my officers. He was out laying obstacles at a junction for our enemies and planned to attack them from behind. Our operations/planning officer asked him what kind of name he wanted for this operation. His response? "Operation gan-ka-cheng", literally translated as "Operation Poke-Backside" or for the more civilised/educated/learned mind, "Operation Sodomy". For his efforts and the hilarious operation name, he took down a mine-clearing team and a tank.


Fourth. Active servicemen (those who are serving their customary two years of service) are so gullible.
First example - We managed to capture a grand total of 14 numbers of recce/scouts, with four captured by our unit. How? Here is what happened:
Enemy Recce: *seeing one of our men* Eh. I can't seem to find Tango Zero Eight.
Our man: *thinks quickly* Eh. I can't find it also leh.
Enemy Recce: Which unit you from, by the way?
Our man: *names their allied unit* C'mon. I saw something over there.
Our man: *walks to our vehicle, holding the enemy recce* Sir, caught him already.
After capturing two recces, our officer sits down with them in front of the vehicle, brings out some beer and starts chatting with them casually. After some time, the third recce came out, surrendered himself and joins in the conversation. After some time, the fourth recce came out and surrendered himself. Four recces/scouts caught. All without breaking a sweat. :D
Second example - We were caught behind the enemy lines because we were slacking and sleeping off. After much thinking, our officer decided that we will try and rejoin our main force. We then proceeded to remove any traces that would identify us and drove as casually as we could. We passed by our enemy troops and tanks, behaving like we knew what we were doing. Not a single person stopped us to verify our identification or our unit. We managed to rejoin our forces in time. :D


Fifth. There is different mindset when we men switch from civilian mode to reservist mode. When we are in civilian mode, our minds are mostly concentrated on work. Once we put on that uniform or enter the camp, we automatically go into reservist mode. Granted, we don't have to stress out about work but the mindset is completely different. Once we enter the camp, our responsibilities and job scope is very different. Its almost like wrenching out your civilian brain and transplanting an army brain into your head. The transition sometimes works seamlessly, but it always requires a great deal of adjustment.


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There. Now that i've managed to heave my lazy ass off the bed and onto the computer to post this, please excuse me while i heave my lazy ass back into slacking clearing my leave slowly change my mindset back into civilian mode.