Why isn’t the world ever unfair in my favour?

So. For guys, if a pretty woman throws herself on you, what should you do?

No, you shouldn't catch her.

You should run away.

No, you shouldn't run to the nearest 7-11.

Run to the toilet? Maybe.

If you do decide to run to the toilet, when you reach there, slap yourself and pinch yourself several times. Hard. Then look at yourself in the mirror.

If you don't look like Pierce Brosnan, then its too good to be true.

Sigh. There goes my love life. -__-

I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

I glanced around the empty office one last time.

Well... This is it, i guess.

So long, guys. It has been a great two years knowing and working with you all.

I wish all of you the best of luck, and i'm sorry i couldn't come for the farewell lunch.

I have to take this next step onto the second path. I need to do this. For myself and for my future.

Goodbye.

I turned back and switched off the master switch to plunge the office into the silent darkness.

I locked the gate and door for the last time, and stepped forward.

Into the future and the unknown.

Let me check what the deductible is on my insurance policy.

Right Foot: So. Whats the deal with you?

Left Foot: *grumbles* Don't know. It just happened, ya know?

Right Foot: Don't you remember anything?

Left Foot: Nope. All i know is that when our owner woke up on Sunday, i was aching whenever he rotates me.

Right Foot: Well, at least our owner brought you to see the chinese physician on Tuesday, right?

Left Foot: Yeah. But after we went back on Wednesday to change the dressing, i was in so much pain that he woke up in the middle of the night.

Right Foot: Sheesh. Whats going on? When our owner brought me to see the chinese physician a couple of weeks back, i was fine after that. The healing method was excruciatingly painful, but at least i healed. You don't seem to be responding well to the same treatment.

Left Foot: Beats me. I thought i would heal the same way you did. But apparently not.

Right Foot: So now what?

Left Foot: Our owner has been taking some pills to ease the pain. So far so good. And then, we went for an x-ray yesterday. Lets hope they find the real cause and heal it quickly. I don't want to have a relapse.

Right Foot: You can say that again. I think our owner wants to cut you off and replace you with a brand new foot.

Left Foot: Ha! Easier said than done. If he could, he would. But he can't, can he? *smirks*

Argh.

I heard a pop, but I think it was my lungs.

For those who wonder why we have supercars when we can never drive at those incredible speeds.

Here is a video explaining why. :)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Seven

You know you are truly rubbish and absolutely useless, when you're struggling to do even ten push-ups.

Sigh... -__-

This is what entertainment is all about. Idiots, explosives and falling anvils.

"Sorry, Blame It On Me"

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

I’m sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done
I’m sorry I’m not always there for my son
I’m sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

[Bridge]
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

[Chorus]
You can put the blame on me [4x]
Said you can put the blame on me [3x]
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn’t know what to do
Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings

He got a second wife and you didn’t agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I’m sorry that you had to do it on your own
I’m sorry that I went and added to your grief
I’m sorry that your son was once a thief
I’m sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would’ve listened and not be so bad
I’m sorry your life turned out this way
I’m sorry that the FEDS came and took me away

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say
Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame
Even though the blame’s on you [3x]
I’ll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me [2x]
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me