At this room, time enters a no-passing zone.

Arrived home today to be told that we have a new shed.

Thats right. A shed.

So i went to the back to have a look, only to see a great big monster staring at me through the kitchen window.

The bloody thing is about 5 million metres 5m by 8 million metres 8m. And about 3 million metres 3m high.

What in the name of all thats holy, possessed my father to buy an oversize plastic doll-house that can hold a million a thousand a hundred 50 illegal immigrants?!

Help. Save me from my parents. (-.-)

“I’m significant!” screamed the dust speck.

<grump>

There is a place called Central^© just above Clarke Quay MRT station.

I don't like that place.

Its full of beautiful people.

And i'm not one of them.

-----

Our office has moved to one floor up, due to the exorbitant landlord wanting to cash in on the uprising property market and therefore charging exorbitant rent.

As a result, i've we've just spent the whole of Friday and Saturday doing manual labour by packing, moving and unpacking.

Now our semi-new office is up and running just after two days of furious packing, coordinating the movers, unpacking and setting up our work-stations, albeit moving only one floor up.

Now i have officially exceeded reached my yearly quota of manual labour which is just one hour.

</grump>

Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!

“All of life is in our minds.
Where else does it take place, where else do we add up what it means to us and subtract what we have lost?
An event is just an event until some person attaches meaning to it.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

Feelings are what we are always subjected to and susceptible to, and perhaps the most primal and basic feeling is fear.

Its that deep choking feeling that engulfs your entire body. The overwhelming sense of helplessness. That feeling of desperation. The feeling that causes adrenaline to pump through your veins and fumbles your brain and senses.

There is fear of pain, fear of hurt. Fear of losing, fear of being beaten. Fear of rejection, fear of love. Fear of anything and everything.

Animals live daily in fear. Will they be eaten or killed today? Will they be cast out from the pack or herd? A mouse trembles in fear, frozen by the terror as a snake bears down on its next meal. Fear causes animals to run faster or they will become the main course for carnivores. Fear is what causes a zebra to try and drown a lioness in a lake, which has a death grip on its neck. Fear is what causes the dominant males to match the herd leader's strength. Un-dominant males are not tolerated.

Are we any different?

We fear of being replaced. We fear of not being able to raise our family and loved ones. As a result, we work harder because of our loved ones. We do not wish them to suffer from our lack of efforts. We fear that the company might lose an important client or project because of our misjudgment and lack of knowledge. We fear of failing our exams, because we fear of disappointing our parents and their wrath.

“Something timeless,
Something older than the fallen mountains,
And newer than a seed unfurling in rich soil.
Such is love.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

We fear love because we have lost it once, twice, thrice or many times, and hence we fear events repeating themselves and therefore, we fear of experiencing the pain of loss again. We fear of rushing into things, because we fear of looking foolish or we fear of being rejected. Because we fear of being alone, so we fear being unattractive, we fear behaving differently and we fear being just us.

We fear being different or unusual, because we fear the mockery, disdain and ostracism. We fear of being shunned by others, because we fear the loneliness. We fear abnormalities, because we fear mishaps. We fear change, because we fear coming out of our comfort zone. We fear stagnation, because we fear of not improving and progressing.

Ultimately, fear is what keeps us alive and all our senses tingling. If one doesn't fear anything, then one is dead no matter how alive one is.

What do you fear?

“Sometimes it seems unfair that events so old can reach forward through the years, sinking claws into one’s life and twisting all that follows it.
Yet perhaps that is the ultimate justice: we are the sum of all we have done added to the sum of all that has been done to us.
There is no escaping that, not for any of us.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Kindly note the following:

Please excuse Ensui from work blogging for the next 4 to 5 weeks. His PC's motherboard has crashed and the internet connection is throwing a tanturm. And by the time the repaired motherboard is expected to return, he will be flying off to Australia to serve his country. His genius is urgently required on a top secret matter of national security.

Sincerely,
The President of the United States

P.S. Really.

Sianz^1,000,000 and Argh^1,000,000.

Further Bulletins as Events Warrant...

My graphics card just went kaput again. I just changed it a couple of weeks ago, in July.

Argh.

Back then, my screen showed specks of color during startup. So i went to the service centre to swap for another one. Now, the screen doesn't even appear at all. I can't see anything, so i can't even try and watch a video or even listen to music.

Double Argh.

I'm using the family's computer now and am officially bored. (-.-)

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

The time now is 1.30am in the morning and the news isn't good, i'm afraid. I've just returned from the office, i'm bone-weary, tired and absolutely exhausted.

And i still have drawings to check before i go to bed.

God help me.

-----

Update:
12/09/07
I've finally succumbed. I'm taking leave for today to rest. Can't. Take. It. Anymore. *collapse* (-.-)

Check the following list of handy expletives, and see that you know how to use them.

Apology Letter to the Boss of a Architectural Firm:

I wish to apologize for my rude behavior on Friday. I know, i know. I was childish, impolite and just plain obnoxious.

But.

Allow me to show you my schedule on that day:

• 9.30am - First Meeting
  
• 12.30pm - Finished First Meeting
• 1.00pm - Arrived back at office
• 1.30pm - Leave office for Second Meeting
• 2.00pm - Second Meeting
• 2.30pm - Leave for Third Meeting
• 3.00pm - Third Meeting
  

As you can see, my itinerary was packed. After my first meeting, when i arrived back in office, i had to continue my tender preparations for Monday, and my preparations were only half-done. When i reached your office at 2.00pm, i hadn't even eaten my lunch. And i had only 30mins to go through whatever issues that had arise.

And while i was explaining something to you, you said, "I'm an Architectural Registered Inspector (R.I.). I know the rules and regulations." I kept quiet. Mostly out of deference to you since you're the boss of the firm, you're elderly and you have lots of experience.

But when your younger Architect showed the portion of the Code of Practice which reaffirms my explanation and statement, I lost it.

I'm sorry. I should have kept quiet and at least, speak in a more reasonable "I-told-you-so" tone of voice.

You are old. You are the boss of the architectural firm. You have heaps of experience. You deserve respect and recognition.

Therefore, i offer my humble apologies and will do my best not to make the same mistake again.

-----

Note: A hungry man is an angry man indeed. (-.-)

There are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

"Moo..."
"Arf!"
Cow Has A New Friend.

-----

Shameful, isn't it?

The minute my repaired internet connection is finally up and running, my first post is something completely childish, irrelevant and immature.

Welcome to my world. :D

The Incurable Weirdness Poster Child

"Eh. How come the floodlights are on? National Day over already mah."

It was a simple question asked by me.

Tonight, after much discussion over coffee, it appears that i've been subsequently knighted by

King Roy-of-Pure-Oxygen-That-Keeps-The-Fire-Burning

and

Queen Rosie-of-Dry-Wood-That-Fuels-The-Fire.

I, thusly, have been knighted / renamed as

Osama-bin-Ensui,

The-One-Who-Started-The-Fire,

Instigator of all Conspiracy Theories,

Bringer of Aids and Ebola and Worldwide Epidemics and All Other Necessary Bad Things To Effect a Complete and Satisfactory Infamy.

... ...

...

*shakes head* Its great comfort to know that friends always have my best interests in mind. (-.-)

Words of Wisdom from Very Wise Taxi Drivers Part Two

Whenever i work late into the night, i usually take a taxi home if its after 10pm. Reason being because i'm usually dead-tired by then, and if i had to take the train, i still have to walk some distance, which i can't be bothered to. (-.-)

Last week late in night, when i took a taxi home, the driver and i chatted for a while. He remarked that he had been sending customers to the east side (Bedok area) all day, and now i'm another one. Following that, he then proceeded to tell me about all the different kinds of people that taxi drivers meet.

1. He was once behind another empty taxi, and saw it ignore a wheelchair-ed person who was trying to hail him. Furthermore, it was drizzling and the empty taxi just sped off. He angrily told me, "That guy had better pray and hope that he/his kin will not receive any disease or injury that will cause them to be wheelchair-bound. Because if they do, they will receive the same treatment like he had given." Bad karma, in other words.
   
2. He had picked up a young girl before and drove her home. Upon reaching the girl's home, she confessed to not having enough money. He then asked ironically, "So how?" The girl replied, "How ah. Let you touch me lor." He then furiously told her, "Eh. Girl. Don't play this kind of game. Next time no money, just say no money." The girl walked away, untouched and unpaid.
3. There was once where he had worked till late and was preparing to go home via one last trip. So he put up the sign "Yishun", signifying that he will only take customers to Yishun. A few kids hailed his taxi, and told him that they were going to Yishun. They then held up five fingers. He asked, "What? One person five dollars?" They replied, "No. Can fetch us all for five dollars?" He refused and the kids pleaded to him, saying that they only have so little money and needed to go home. He told them to wait till morning for the first bus/train.
4. His friend had picked up a young girl before, and the girl sat beside him at the passenger seat. Along the way, while changing gear, the girl grab his hand and laid it on her thighs, exclaiming that she was so cold and if he could feel her being so cold. At the end of the journey, the girl said she didn't have enough money. When asked further, she said, "Uncle, you touched me just now leh. So how arh?" She walked away, unpaid.
   

With such recounting and experiences, he has a few practices now:

• He doesn't let his female customers sit in the passenger seat beside him, for fear of Events 2 & 4 happening again.
• He is wary of picking up kids, because of the above-mentioned events.

Taxi drivers sure meet all kinds of people. If each of them could tell their stories on the people they meet, i'm sure we'll be able to profile all the different characters in this country. :D

The Truth Will Set Your Teeth Free.

National Day. The day where we gained independence. The day where we celebrate the birth of our country. The day where we show our love and affection for our homeland.

Do i love this country?

Perhaps we should explore what it means when we say we love this country.

When we say we love this country, it means that we love the country that has:

1. Drivers who turn without signaling / indicating,
2. People who push / shove their way into a crowded train, oblivious that there isn't any space at all and/or leaning on the grab-bars, ignoring the fact that their bodies are the size of Africa and that no one else can use it,
   
3. People who talk too loudly on their handphones or to their friends,
4. Kids who play music loudly on their handphones' speakers,
5. A single ruling party since the dinosaurs,
6. Advertisements which still use the symbol "@" eg. E-Centre @ Redhill, NYP @ Expo. C'mon guys, the "@" is out of fashion already! Move on!
7. The most screwed-up weather. It rains with the sun burning brightly, alternate between raining and burning hot within the hour and/or burning hot at 7am in the morning.
8. Parents who compare their children's grades and bequeath an unholy amount of stress on their children
9. Parents who spoil their children and/or not teaching them any manners
   

So. The question remains: Do i love this country?

No.

Don't get me wrong. I may not love this country, but my family is here and i grew up here. I have a duty and responsibility to protect it.

But do i love it?

I'm afraid not.

The majority of work in this thesis is original. However, some assistance with material and research has been provided by my fellow Gong-ers: Part 2

Presenting the sequel to Theories Part One (Ref: Ensui, 18 January 2007)...

You know you are seriously addicted to mahjong when you start correlating bus numbers to mahjong tiles.

Let me explain.

Lets say you are at a bus stop and are waiting for bus number 14 to take you home. Now, since only bus number 14 can take you home, this means that you "dan-diao" aka you're waiting for only one tile.

So by that same token of logic, if you're waiting for bus number 111, it means that you "dan-diao" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, third paragraph) three bamboo aka "san-suo". This is because there are three ones, and they look like the bamboo in mahjong tiles. On the other hand, you could also say that you are waiting for a "pong" aka three of the same kind, which is three ones in this case.

So while waiting for that single bus - be it bus number 111 or 14 or whichever number that applies in the current circumstances - to take you home, bus number 143 and 7 comes along. A bunch of girls get on the bus number 7, and you think to yourself: Darn. Those girls already "hu" aka win liaoz, and i haven't. Should i change my tiles to get a better chance of winning aka by walking to another bus stop? No, its too late in the game to change my tiles. I shall remain here.

10 mins later, another 143 comes along. Then you start thinking: Darn. I could have used bus number 143 as "yan-jing" aka two mahjong tiles of the same type. Then bus number 77 appears, then you start thinking: Hey! I can "pong" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fourth paragraph)!

Another 10 mins pass, another bus number 7 appears and right behind is the bus you were waiting for.

Now this situation is slightly complicated, but i shall explain the best way i can.

So firstly, you "gung" aka four of the same kind, which is mahjong tile 7 in this case. So you pick a tile from the "flower" side and find the tile that you were waiting for, which means that you "hu" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fifth paragraph)! That also means that since you picked the winning tile from the "flower" side, you "hua-sang"!

So in summary, you "gung" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, seven paragraph), "hua-sang" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, seventh paragraph) and "hu" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fifth paragraph)!

And so you board the bus which you "dan-diao" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, third paragraph) for so long, and seat yourself with a small self-congratulatory smile on your face.

Oh. One other thing.

If one day, you see a bus number "hong-zhong" aka a red middle, "bai-ban" aka white coffin, or "fa-cai" aka wealth, you need to seek help. Fast.

Sometimes it’s good to hush up for a while and let autumn stick in a few words.

"Dragon, turn.
Dragon, climb.
Dragonrider, watch for sign.
Firestone chew.
Dragon, flame.
Char the Thread, make it tame."
- “Dragonsblood” by Todd McCaffrey

I'm due for a NS reservist call-up next week.

The good news:
My boss managed to defer me.

The bad news:
I won't be able to escape the next call-up. It'll from October to November, and its in Australia. Exercise Wallaby.

The good news:
Going to Australia. If there's one thing i miss terribly of Australia, its the calm, peacefulness and tranquility.
When i was still studying in Australia, amongst the various houses that i've stayed in, there was a student hostel situated just behind the university.
Living there was somehow even more peaceful than other places. This was because as you walk up the well-made brick footpath to your unit, you're surrounded by greenery and only sporadic houses/flats. The road is on the other side, so you can't see any cars or transport. All you see and hear is nature and the quiet bustling of students going about their daily lives.
Sadly, we don't have that over here. There are roads everywhere and within sight. True, there is greenery, but its different somehow.

The bad news:
The next call-up will be for three weeks and i'm not sure if my boss/colleagues will be able to cope.

“When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, near a whisper. “In the Eridani Way, we are taught that harmony is everything. A good change is invisible, like the wind. It belongs – it seems like an obvious part of the ecosystem.”
“You remember the ancient tailor’s saying: Measure twice, cut once?” she continued.
Emily nodded.
“The Eridani would say measure a million times, then a million times more and see if you can’t possibly find a way to avoid the cut. ‘A world is not easily mended,’ they say.””
- “Dragonsblood” by Todd McCaffrey

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." - Jackie Mason

Its official.

I got the flu.

As declared by me. As declared by the good doctor. As declared by the two days MC granted to me.

Grumpy-Me: Must be Adrenaline pass to me one. Dunnoe how she did it, but must be she passed to me one. (-.-)

Shameless-Me: Someone must be thinking of me. Thats why i'm sneezing so much. :D

Insane-Me: I'm going to board the train at peak hour tomorrow and sneeze on everyone! That way, everybody will get the flu too and get MC! o.o

Workaholic-Me: Will try to recover in one day and get back to work. I have too much stuff to clear. >.<

Childish-Me: Yeah! Got MC! Can play computer games all day tomorrow! 0.o

Help. I'm going crazy. (-.-)

Parodies at Work Part 271,197,083

The week before last was pretty insane. For your easy-viewing pleasure, let me break it down for you:-

Monday
Had a meeting in the morning to discuss our presentation on Wednesday. I'm assisting my Executive Director and we were in a competition with other teams to do a project for JTC. It involves building 15 empty factories, which is currently very much in demand by lots of companies.

In the afternoon, my boss called me and our conversation went somewhat like this:

Boss: How are you doing with your projects arh? Think you can handle one more?

Me: *mutters* Erm... Yeah, i think so.

Boss: I have a project with SPH. But the meeting time keeps clashing with my other meeting times. ISO says that i need a back-up in cases like this. So i need you to cover for me, just in case. You tomorrow morning free?

Me: *searches through my planner* Yeah, i'm free.

Boss: Ok. The meetings are usually on Tuesday mornings. So tomorrow you follow me to the meeting for the SPH project.


Tuesday
Before the meeting, the phone rang at the reception counter. Since our girls were busy and no one was around to take the call, i answered it:

Other person on the line: Hi, i'm calling from the Singapore Autism School. I'm preparing the Letter of Appointment for your company. Would you like to collect it personally? Or you want us to post it to you?

Me: *stumped momentarily* Erm... I'll check with my Boss and let you know. Can i have your name and contact number please?

Right after, our reception girl appeared and i told her about the phone call. She nods and said that she'll ask Boss. Right on cue, Boss emerges from his office and our reception girl informs him immediately:

Reception Girl: Boss. The Singapore Autism School called and asked if they should post the Letter of Appointment or we go collect it personally.

Boss: *Frowning at the offending piece of paper with the name and contact of the person* We have a project with them meh?

Reception Girl: Yes. A long time ago. We applied for it via the internet.

Boss: *still staring at the offending piece of paper, knowing that we have too many projects to handle* Wah liao...

At 10.30am, i followed Boss to the meeting for our SPH project. As it was my first meeting and i had no prior knowledge of what was going on, i tried as best as i could to understand the on-goings. The meeting only finished at 1.00pm, with Boss and I walking around the site.
At 2.30pm, i had another meeting for a condominium project. Since i had a late lunch, i arrived late naturally.
At 4.00pm, i headed off for another meeting at MOE. Only arrived home at about 8pm.


Wednesday
Went for the presentation to JTC and EDB in the morning. Sat right through the entire project without uttering a word. The 'main actors' were the Architect and the Developer/Contractor. As M&E Engineers, we were probably the least important of the consultants team.

When people see a building, they observe how it looks *cue the Architect*. The building has to be safe and not collapse *cue the Structural Engineer*. The project must be on budget *cue the Quantity Surveyor*. As long as the air-conditioning works fine, the electrical switchboard doesn't trip, people don't really care about us M&E Engineers.

After the presentation, as i stepped wearily into the office, my reception girl tells me, "Eh. The Singapore Autism School will be under you hor. Boss say one"


Thursday
My Executive Director told me that the Architect for the JTC project has just called him. Through various contacts, she has heard that we have gotten the project aka won the competition. In other words, he will guide me along but i will be doing most of the work.

So.

In a nutshell, in a space of one week, i am saddled with three new projects: SPH, JTC's 15 new factories and the Singapore Autism School. How brilliant is that. (-.-)

-----

Last week, one of our engineers (the Indonesian one >.<) had to fly back to his homeland because his grandmother had died. He will only be back next week.

Daniel's leg has been giving him grief lately. Each time he walks, pain lances through his right leg. He has even seen a chinese physician, but to no avail. He's gonna see a proper doctor tomorrow afternoon.

So if he takes MC, which is highly likely, that means that I'm the only engineer left to handle any problems that may arise from my colleagues' projects.

And i'm starting to feel the symptoms of flu coming onto me: Blocked Nose, Slight Cough, Scratchy Throat, Head Feels Like Its Been Stuffed With Wool. You know the rest.

This is going to the longest week ever. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Four

I glanced around the road as i exited my house. Time to torture my body with my weekly exercise. I started off a slow jog as i made my way towards the new underpass to East Coast.

I had just gotten up and went downstairs for breakfast. I was told that there was a package left at our doorstep. Frowning to myself, wondering who could have sent it, i went to have a look. A sneaking suspicion had entered a tiny corner in my mind.

As i jogged, i started my customary breathing pace. I tried to recall the song i used last weekend, and pace my breathing with it. But no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't recall the tune. Shaking my head to get rid of any distractions, i tried to recall some music. I finally found one and paced my breathing with it.

When i saw the handwriting, i immediately thought: Oh shit. Don't tell me its her. And it was her. I opened the package and inside was a box and an envelop. The letter inside was written in her handwriting and signed with what looked like her new signature. Her new signature looked somewhat like mine, with a big inverted-C-curve as a "J". The box contained her birthday present to me: a pair of gorilla cuff-links.

It was a relatively cloudy day. Perhaps that was the reason why there were so little people about when i emerged from the other side of the underpass. Or perhaps the school holidays has ended. Whatever it was, i jogged in relative solitude with a few passing cyclists and roller-bladers. Not that i'm complaining. Jogging by nature is usually a lonely exercise, and i had already gotten used to it.

I had stored all our memories together into a room. I had locked that room and threw away the key. In fact, i had almost forgotten about that room. The birthday present had exploded the door to that room. With the room wide open like a burst dam, the memories rushed out in a torrential flood.

As i jogged past my first mental marker, i put my arms behind my back. This pushes my body forward and increases my pace. As i jogged up the small slope, i started to breathe heavily and in faster breaths. The number of people has increased as i entered a more popular area. Needless to say, there are girls around. I keep my eyes straight, try not to look around and focus on the repetitive tune playing in mind to pace my breathing. I'm here to jog, not to pick up girls.

What should i do? How should i react? What does this mean? Conflicts of emotions raged within me. The whirlwind of feelings swept within my mind. Without my daily dose of caffeine and when i just woke up, it was quite a shock to the system. I couldn't think. I didn't know what to think. I was confused. Seriously and utterly confused.

As i push past my second mental marker, i lengthen my strides. Now i'm entering really crowded areas. There is a bicycle/roller-blade rental shop where i make my U-turn to jog home. Hordes of people exit from the shop and head for their respective destinations. As i ran comfortably past the pedestrians, i pushed myself as much as i could. No point in exercising when i don't push my body to the limit.

Back in my room, i called and text-ed Caffeine Addict. I needed her advice. I needed someone to talk to. She replied almost instantly. We talked for a bit. I'm a complete novice when it comes to two matters: affairs of the heart, and understanding girls. When i told her that i was about to go jogging, she said, "Thats good. Exercising releases happy drugs. Try and do things. Happy things."

As i emerge back from the underpass, i jog slowly to the fitness corner some distance away. My legs were tired, but the rest of my body were still fine. As i tried to get my breath back, i paced around the fitness corner. Kids ran around in the nearby playground, playing the age-old game of "catching". Bracing myself and giving myself some short breaks, i completed my routine of sit-ups and pull-ups. With those done, i walked slowly home. Just another normal Sunday.

The whirl in my emotions had subsided. I grew calmer and started looking up. Thank you, Caffeine Addict. My life is starting to get back on track. Slowly, but surely. And to her: I really DO appreciate you remembering my birthday and your birthday present of gorilla cuff-links. For now, i just need a little time for my emotions to settle down. Thank you once again.

"We said we were gonna play the game, like we had nothing to lose." - Danny Ocean from "Ocean's Eleven"

Sitting down, i thought to myself, "This is it. Lets take the plunge. Its all or nothing."

As the events fall into place like jigsaw pieces fitting each other perfectly, my stomach started to clenched in a tight knot.

My shoulders tensed up. My entire body went rigid and my palms grew sweaty. I kept thinking, "Please don't fail. Please don't fail. Please don't fail. Come on. Come on. Come on."


And then, it finally arrived.

Was i mis-seeing, indulging in a wish fulfillment? I found myself unable to speak, unable to rise to the occasion in any fashion. I mutely showed what i had.

My friends were stunned into silence. All of them stared in shock, their eyes couldn't quite believe what had happened. Only one recovered in time to whisper...

... ...

...

"Five-tai"

...

As exhilaration coursed through my body, the tension is released. All of a sudden, i felt weak and drained of energy. But how i felt was of no consequence and no importance. The next round has begun...

-----

Despite this happening three times, winning money is still always a good feeling.

Yes. Yes. I know. I'm rubbing it in. But hey, all of us are entitled to a little bit of self-congratulatory and vanity, are we not? :D

Words of Wisdom from Very Wise Taxi Drivers

While i was taking a taxi back to the office on Friday, i struck up a comfortable conversation with the driver. He proudly stated his heritage:

1. He's a orphan. His father died, and his mother left him.
2. He has next to no education at all.
3. As a result of that, he has "seen the world".
4. But because he has believed in Buddhism, he has taken a vow and turned over a new leaf
5. However, that doesn't stop him from having a girlfriend despite having a wife and kids.
6. The said girlfriend is also married with kids.
7. For the three years that they were together, she has never bought him a present during his birthday.
8. He recently bought a $490 gold necklace for his girlfriend as a present, but she pawned it and left the receipt with him.
9. This incident was the last straw that broke the camel's back. He admitted to not being very familiar with such affairs, but his girlfriend has "taught" him until he's familiar.
10. He plans to abandon his girlfriend now.

With all these "sight-seeing of the world", he has a few Pearls of Wisdom to share:

• A girlfriend is like a handphone. If you don't pay the service charge, the service will be terminated.
  
• On the other hand, a wife is like a television. You only need to pay once and can use for free after that.
• A girlfriend is like a handphone. You take it where-ever you go.
• A wife is like a television. You leave it at home.

Don't you just love taxi drivers? They have a simple uncomplicated view of life. :)

Ok, this is slightly embarrassing now... Since it happened twice... (-.-)

I...

*Bashes head against the table*

Must...

*Bashes head against the table again*

Remember...

*Bashes head against the table again*

To...

*No wait, table's broken, bashes head against the wall*

Zip...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

My...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Pants...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Before...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Going...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Out...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

*dazedly looks around, fumbling for something to hang on to* Why do i have two doors in my room? And why is the room spinning?

*collapse*

The Loss of Innocence, Naviety & The Child In Us.

As i trundle through the train station, i started to ponder how we have changed when we enter the working life. Not exactly the ideal thoughts you need for a good start to a Friday morning.

Flowerger's rant that people didn't help her when she fell, wasn't new. When a little girl drowned, no one tried to rescue her earlier despite two lifeguards on duty. Overall, it just seems that people turn into cold, heartless and ruthless bastards when they enter the working world. The helpful and happy children we once were, seemed to have vanished like the morning mist dissipated by the burning sun.

Isn't it sad, i thought as i entered the train, that we lose all our morality and happiness when we start working? As i glanced around for a place to stand, blank faces greeted me. Each occupied in their own thoughts and miserable lives. As the train rumbled through the stations, i thought about how we were as children.

When we were young, we were invincible. We were rebellious in our own right because we only thought for ourselves. We got hurt fast and healed fast, both mentally and physically. We didn't need to care about how others were doing. We didn't need to care about how food got onto the table. We didn't need to care about our pay and whether the boss knew how hard we worked.

All that mattered in our minds were friendships, how to attract the opposite sex, when the next meal was and when the next gathering was. Life was much simpler then. We just did as we were told, or did as we please. There wasn't any consequences for us to heed, nor any life's direction we needed to think about. We lived to the fullest, each day at a time in true spontaneity.

Those were the good times, i thought wryly as i shrugged through the crowd and stepped off at my train station. Now wounds take longer to heal, both mentally and physically. Now we have to worry about how others are doing. Now we need to care about how food got onto the table. Now we have to worry about our pay and whether the boss knew about hard we worked. Now we have to think for ourselves and push the work to others because we aren't paid to do their job.

Consequences are something we have to think of every single time we make a decision, sign something or do something. We push for confirmation 'in black and white' via email, writing or fax because others will bear the consequences. We don't dare to commit both verbally and in writing because of consequences. Every thing we do these days, we think over it again and again, pondering if we should do so and the consequences that come with it.

Should i help that girl that fell down? If so, will i get scolded because i implied that she's weak?

Should i help that guy who is drowning? Thats the lifeguard's job, not mine so why should i do someone else's work? Let them bear the consequences. Besides he might be having a cramp and he could recover by the time i swim over.

When was the last time we did something because we wanted to, and not because of the consequences? I thought sadly as i stared at our company's dark varnished door, rummaging into my pocket for the keys. As i signed in, and made my way to my cubicle, saying my 'good mornings', i realised that ultimately the one single fact remains.

We have changed.

"Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace." - Amelia Earhart

"His voice was very soft in the dim room.

"There is nothing dishonorable about abandoning pain. Sometimes peace is most quickly found when a man simply stops avoiding it."

He shifted slightly in the dark.

"And you never again lay awake all night, staring at the darkness and thinking about them.""

- "Fool's Errand" by Robin Hobb

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity" - Maximus in "Gladiator"

When i read Mela's post extolling on how screwed up the life of a lawyer can be, i realised that lawyers don't have it all to themselves. We engineers are pretty screwed up too.

We aren't exactly normal people. When we confess our profession, people usually run or commit suicide rather than talk to us. If somehow we manage to sneak our way into a conversation because we are so desperate for human company, woe betide anyone who introduces a topic even remotely related to engineering.

For example. An innocent comment on cars will start us explaining on how the engine works and whats the difference between a turbocharger and a supercharger/compressor.

A simple remark on a particular condominium on sale will start us asking how many units does it have and if a substation is provided and if a water tank is needed.

Even a careless discussion on sex will start us calculating on how much friction a body generates when doing the horizontal tango, and given the diameter, how much volume a woman's bosom would approximate.

When normal men look at attractive women, they mentally undress them. When we engineers see a building or machinery, we mentally undress the building/machinery to its details/components to see if it has been done right.

And that is also why there is a profession called Architects. If the shape of the building was left to us engineers, you will end up with a very ugly block of concrete and steel structure hardly worthy of note. Architects slap our fidgety hands out of the design area, issue a stern warning to us, leaving us sulking and pouting, and make the building look like its floating on air, blend in with the landscape or make it so outstanding that every passerby will stop and gawk thereby increasing vehicular accident rates.

And when we check our calculations, we always use a worst-case scenario. We always use big numbers and round-up our figures. That way, we are prepared for the worst. Oh and to be further protected, we multiply a safety factor of 10 to the final number as well. Cautious? That would be a gross understatement. And thats another reason why, in my opinion, true engineers are not good investors. We just don't take risks. :p

We engineers are losers and homebodies. You don't see us at gatherings because no one wants to invite an antisocial creature and ruin the party. You don't see engineers at clubs and pubs because we don't want to cause a mass hysteria or deaths by turning up.

Engineers are not 'hip'. Engineers are not 'in'. Engineers are not 'cool'. Engineers are not 'wicked', or whatever new words you use these days.

Yes. I am well aware. I'm an engineer, albeit a eight-month old one. So what? Doesn't mean i can't bad-mouth my own profession. Nobody has complete monopoly on idiocy, you know.

"The hand that moves unseen, cloaked by the velvet glove of diplomacy." - "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb

I can't seem to make up my mind on something. Its been bugging me these days. Maybe you guys can help me out on this one.

Which is more ludicrous?

1. In America, there is a Professional Rock Paper Scissors Association. And there are even people who are actual professional rock paper scissors players. They even have tactics like 'The Toolbox', which is playing scissors all the way. Ain't that nice? The game we all played as kids is now turning into a Professional Losers-Who-Give-Humanity-A-Bad-Name Association. Great. Another childhood game down the drain.
2. Paris Hilton gets a 50% discount on her jail sentence for violating probation, and even gets special treatment and a 'special' room during her jail term. Has anyone told her that the jail bit is not part of her reality-tv show? Or has someone pass the legislation that big-names are above the law, while i wasn't looking?
3. The F1 that is going to be held in Singapore, has a profit cap. But before you burst into spontaneous cheer and applause, the portion that is above the profit cap, will be going to the gah-men. Since when do gah-men-s meddle in the affairs of the private sector? And why do they deserve this portion? The whole event is going to be run by private companies, as far as i can tell.
4. Some people seem to think that homosexuality is a genetic thing, and others seem to think that if that is the price for creativity and spontaneity, then they are willing to let it go. In my opinion, the first set of people are treating homosexuality as some kind of hereditary disease or deformity, and that the second set of people are treating it like some kind of passing fad. WHAT RUBBISH!!! Homosexuality is a free-will choice. To say that it is a genetic thing, is the same as saying that people liking the color 'blue' are genetic as well. *sarcasm* So if i dun like the color 'blue', then i shall set a law criminalizing people who like the color 'blue'. What the fark?!
5. In the eight months that i have working, i have stepped on dog poo once and have worms dropping on me twice. Yes. I know. I'm so lucky i should go buy Toto. Sighz.

I know, i know. Its a difficult choice, isn't it? I'm more inclined to go for Option Five, if i'm honest. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Three

Gentlemen. After three weeks of stalemate, the enemy has struck.

I am ashamed to report that we have grown conceited and complacent. We thought that we have won the war. We thought that the enemy has fled. We thought that victory was ours. But we were wrong.

We had conquered and settled into the Coast-of-Jogging. Sit-up Town was ours and victory at the City-of-Pullups didn't seem far off. But after three weeks, the enemy struck back with unexpected ferocity and speed.

Flabby-Thighs burst through our front lines and we were hard-pressed from losing the Coast-of-Jogging. Spare-Tire-Tummy and Weaks-Arms have used the much dreaded Lethargy-Artillery to rain heavy shells on us. In addition, their Excuses-Shock-Troops and Lazy-Armored-Formation has laid seige on us. Our troops are hard-pressed to keep them away from Situp-Town and the City-of-Pullups.

As of now, the situation seems bleak. The battle hangs in the balance and i assure you that we are doing our best to regain our ground.

We cannot lose to the enemy.

We will be victorious.

"A man's silence is wonderful to listen to." - Thomas Hardy

Sat in front of the computer monitor.

Fingers poised above the glowing keyboard.

Thinking deeply and searching for inspiration.

Nothing came.

Sigh.

Not today.

Boring Bits of Stuffy Science

Allow me a momentary indulgence. I would like to explore/share something which has endlessly fascinated me. That something is called 'time'.

In school, we learn about length and breadth, like in a square or a rectangle. Length and breadth are known as the two dimensions, or 2-D for short.

Most of us might know the third dimension: height. So using the same analogy of a square, a cube is a three-dimensional square. It has length, breadth and height. We live in a three-dimensional world because we see length, breadth and height everyday.

Now, what most of us might not know, is there exists a fourth dimension: Time.

This fourth dimension is rather fascinating. We live from moment to moment, second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour. But if we manage to see our lives as a continuous film strip, from birth to death, then we will be seeing the fourth dimension, time.

Which bring me to my main point: time travel. We have endless books and films on this subject. "Back To The Future" is the earliest film i can remember that touched on time travel. H G Wells wrote a book called "The Time Machine" and a movie was made from it. Most of these said books and films seem to believe that as you go faster, you will somehow travel through time.

But all this flim-flam and science fiction ignored a simple fact: it can't be done.

Why?

Two important reasons: relativity and time paradox.

The first reason, relativity, was invented by the famous Albert Einstein. The same person who invented the atomic bomb, only to regret it when he saw the massive destruction it caused. The same person who came up with theories of Light.

According to his theory, as you go faster, the heavier you become. For example, if you travel at infinite speed to travel through time, your mass will become infinitely heavier. And since you become heavier, you become slower. And since you become slower, you can't travel at infinite speed to travel through time.

The second reason is time paradox. This is best illustrated with an example. H G Wells elaborated this clearly in his book/movie. In "The Time Machine", the inventor's wife was killed in a robbery. Consumed with grief and determined to rectify it, he built a time machine to go back into the past to prevent her death. But he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried.

Why?

Because if he did save his wife, then he will have no reason to build the time machine, and hence will not go back to save his wife. A time paradox.

Right. Now that i've gotten that out of my system, i can move on with my life. :)

"When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane." - Hermann Hesse

You know how most people get their fixes, to relieve their stress even if only for a moment? To make their day easier, to make their burden lighter?

There are people who have their 'speed' fix. Most people smoke or take caffeine. Some take marijuana. Some take heroin. Some take drugs.

Well, i have a confession to make.

I have a fix.

Without it, my day gets a lot harder.

Without it, i have withdrawal symptoms. I shiver and have 'running nose'. I will feel listless and have no energy for work. Without it, i just want to lie on the floor, hug my knees to my chest and sleep.

Yes, i have an addiction.

My addiction is...

... ...

Sweets.

And they can't be just ordinary sweets. My addiction is to mint-flavor sweets. Clorets, to be specific.

*snorts up the nose* Aaahhh... Grade A.

Yes, i know. I should be ashamed of myself. I am a healthy man with a bright future and to have such an addiction, i am a disgrace.

But i can't help myself. Believe me, i want to quit. You must believe me. You must.

:D

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Yes. I know. I am truly going insane. Blame it on my work. >.<

"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost

The thing about being single is that you can throw all your time and energy into work, and forget everything else. Of course, this means you become a reclusive hermit and ignore the world around you.

Case in point:





When i went out last night, i thought to myself:





Damn. When was the last time i went out?





There are girls everywhere!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

Found this here. I like the Aussie one. :D

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SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them all and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity, and arrest the reporter who leaked the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the *!!%$@@##** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

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Happy April's Fool, everyone. :)