Reading goes faster if you don’t sweat comprehension.

"Bright is the moon's spark
Never coming never dark
Thoughts of you burn deep inside
Cannot settle cannot subside
Sages hurried when guests called
So at their feet the empire did fall"
- Cao Cao from "Red Cliff 2"

P.S: As a kantang, this is the best i can do. My Chinese isn't that good and i can't seem to find the proper translation for the full poem. xD

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

“Maybe you have to keep your pain and loss to know that you can survive whatever life deals with you. Perhaps without putting your pain in its place in your life, you become something of a coward.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

I'll like to add to this email, if i may. :)

There is something i wanted to say after the sharing session. I didn't get a chance to do so, mainly because 1) i forgot, and 2) i didn't want to look like a bawling baby (although i think you guys already know that -_-)

It has been ten (10) years since we known each other. I'm ashamed to say that i was extremely childish, naive and brash during JC. I'll give everything in the world to change my past actions and deeds. I think i'm not that far off the mark when i say that i was an outcast and shunned by all of you during JC.

And because of my past actions, i'm glad that you guys still treat me as a friend and not as a stranger. I'm glad that you guys still welcomed me. I'm glad you guys invited me for this trip. I'm glad i went on this trip to know all of you again and renew our friendship.

This trip has really changed my life. Although it may sound a bit dramatic and cliche, i really do think its true. I've gotten to know all of you, which i never did so during JC. I even managed to talk to each and every single one of you, which i never did so during JC. I just hope i can continue to have fun with you guys and that you will always welcome me, no matter how fugly and fat i become and how sucky my attitude is.

Thank you, guys, for everything and most of all, for being my friends

“I could wish you a ministrel’s happy ending to your tale, “much love and many children”, but I do not think it will come to be.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

Heck, whats a little extortion among friends?

“‘No one else can tell you what to feel. You either do, or you don’t. Though I don’t understand or approve of this, all of you are becoming my friends.
Being a friend means you don’t have to be exactly alike, and you are still friends.’”
- “Blood of the Fold” by Terry GoodKind

The Taiwan trip was good. After losing touch for more than four years, it was good to know my friends again. Some of them haven't changed, while some have.

And in that trip, i think i've discovered how to have fun again. I was appreciated for the things i've done and things which i didn't realise i did.

Happy New Year, everyone. :)

“‘As you learn to be other than Mord-Sith, like I learned as I grew up, you’ll find that being a friend is to like a person for who they are, even the parts you don’t understand.
The reasons you like them makes the things you don’t understand unimportant.
You don’t have to understand, or do the same, or live their lives for them.
If you truly care for them, then you want them to be who they are; that was why you liked them in the first place.’”
- “Blood of the Fold” by Terry GoodKind

Santa Claus: kindly old elf, or CIA spook?

"There is no such thing as perfect in this world. That may sound cliche, but its the truth.

The average person admires perfection and seeks to obtain it. But, whats the point of achieving perfection?

There is none. Nothing. Not a single thing.

I loathe perfection!

If something is perfect, then there is nothing left. There is no room for imagination. No place left for a person to gain additional knowledge or abilities.

Do you know what that means?

For scientists such as ourselves, perfection only brings despair. It is our job to create things more wonderful than anything before them, but never to obtain perfection. A scientist must be a person who finds ecstasy, while suffering from that antinomy."
- Twelfth Squad Captain, Kurotsuchi Mayuri in Bleach Episode 200: The Most Hardest Body?! Nnoitra is Cut Down

Merry Christmas, everyone. :)

Even though we’re both talking English, we’re not speaking the same language.

A mental note to myself:

Do not compare your previous company to your current one. Comparisons are rarely healthy and they can create ill feelings among people. Start from scratch and learn the culture in the current company.

I really do need to remember this.

Sometimes I think ALL my friends have been imaginary.

“A tiny spot of light reached through it toward me. I caught it in my hand and sat staring at it for a time. A metaphor for my life, I thought.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

Isn't it odd, on how sometimes although you've never personally met some people but when you hear about some excellent news which happened to them, you get this really warm moist feeling of happiness for the said people?

“Adrift upon the sea of time, the lonely god wanders from shore to distant shore, upholding the laws of the stars above.”
- “Brisinger” by Christopher Paolini

That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.

"Ward left in. Ward right out. Guard your heart from stone."
- "Temple of the Winds" by Terry Goodkind

"Ward left in. Ward right out. Turn your heart to stone."
- "Enigmas and Musings from the Edge of Insanity" by Ensui

What I like is when you’re looking and thinking and looking and thinking… And suddenly, you wake up.

Something that came up in the discussion board of Facebook...

XXXX XXX (San Francisco, CA) wrote 42 minutes ago:
i have a question...

Why should income wealth and opportunity in life be based on factors arbitrary from moral point of views?

xxxx xxxx replied to XXXX's post 25 minutes ago:
if u tink simply, it happens in our daily lives.

I am currently an engineering student in university. i hate physic and love political science and history but to survive in a economy system such as the one in Singapore, i don have a choice to choose wat i really wanna do. i took up engineering hoping to get a gd job.

i dono, but many of my friends are facing this same issue as me.

You replied to xxxx's post 19 minutes ago:
Actually, i have a friend who is studying history and political science in an australian university. He is almost finishing his Phd, which focuses on Australia's participation in Singapore during WW2.

I believe he's coming back once he's done and i really admire him for doing what he enjoys. I don't think there will be any difficulty in him finding a job. :)

I'm a working engineer too, but i enjoy engineering. :D

xxxx xxxx replied to your post 16 minutes ago:
i think we the younger generation have a lot more choices. but been an asian. my parents and many others are still veri cautious abt what we are going to study. to them, the moral compass mentioned, dont point so much to the arts or poilical scenes.

You replied to xxxx's post 8 minutes ago:
Lol... I'm 27, so i like to think myself as part of the younger generation. xD

But i do understand where you're coming from. Yes, our parents still worry about our future and they want us to have a stable livelihood. I think its the difference in mentality. Our priority is to have a job which we like and love. Their priority is to provide for the family, even if it means that they don't enjoy their job.

We have to respect our parents' wishes because that is part of our asian culture. If our parents support everything we do, including doing something that is uncommon and might mean an unstable livelihood, then we are truly blessed. Few of us have that privilege.

We all have our own individual circumstances to deal with, and i think we make our choices based on those circumstances. :)

Too much thinking on a weekend can really hurt your head. :p

The operative word being “stupid”.

I think i have a new definition of the word "stupid".

It goes something like this:

Stupid is what you are, when you're recovering nicely from a sprained ankle and then you go and play indoor soccer with your new colleagues.

Sigh... -__-

Why isn’t the world ever unfair in my favour?

So. For guys, if a pretty woman throws herself on you, what should you do?

No, you shouldn't catch her.

You should run away.

No, you shouldn't run to the nearest 7-11.

Run to the toilet? Maybe.

If you do decide to run to the toilet, when you reach there, slap yourself and pinch yourself several times. Hard. Then look at yourself in the mirror.

If you don't look like Pierce Brosnan, then its too good to be true.

Sigh. There goes my love life. -__-

I’ve got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

I glanced around the empty office one last time.

Well... This is it, i guess.

So long, guys. It has been a great two years knowing and working with you all.

I wish all of you the best of luck, and i'm sorry i couldn't come for the farewell lunch.

I have to take this next step onto the second path. I need to do this. For myself and for my future.

Goodbye.

I turned back and switched off the master switch to plunge the office into the silent darkness.

I locked the gate and door for the last time, and stepped forward.

Into the future and the unknown.

Let me check what the deductible is on my insurance policy.

Right Foot: So. Whats the deal with you?

Left Foot: *grumbles* Don't know. It just happened, ya know?

Right Foot: Don't you remember anything?

Left Foot: Nope. All i know is that when our owner woke up on Sunday, i was aching whenever he rotates me.

Right Foot: Well, at least our owner brought you to see the chinese physician on Tuesday, right?

Left Foot: Yeah. But after we went back on Wednesday to change the dressing, i was in so much pain that he woke up in the middle of the night.

Right Foot: Sheesh. Whats going on? When our owner brought me to see the chinese physician a couple of weeks back, i was fine after that. The healing method was excruciatingly painful, but at least i healed. You don't seem to be responding well to the same treatment.

Left Foot: Beats me. I thought i would heal the same way you did. But apparently not.

Right Foot: So now what?

Left Foot: Our owner has been taking some pills to ease the pain. So far so good. And then, we went for an x-ray yesterday. Lets hope they find the real cause and heal it quickly. I don't want to have a relapse.

Right Foot: You can say that again. I think our owner wants to cut you off and replace you with a brand new foot.

Left Foot: Ha! Easier said than done. If he could, he would. But he can't, can he? *smirks*

Argh.

I heard a pop, but I think it was my lungs.

For those who wonder why we have supercars when we can never drive at those incredible speeds.

Here is a video explaining why. :)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Seven

You know you are truly rubbish and absolutely useless, when you're struggling to do even ten push-ups.

Sigh... -__-

This is what entertainment is all about. Idiots, explosives and falling anvils.

"Sorry, Blame It On Me"

As life goes on I’m starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don’t want to take responsibility for

I’m sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I’m sorry for the times I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times I disrespect

I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done
I’m sorry I’m not always there for my son
I’m sorry for the fact that I'm not aware
That you can’t sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I'm so proud to call you my girl

[Bridge]
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

[Chorus]
You can put the blame on me [4x]
Said you can put the blame on me [3x]
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn’t know what to do
Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings

He got a second wife and you didn’t agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I’m sorry that you had to do it on your own
I’m sorry that I went and added to your grief
I’m sorry that your son was once a thief
I’m sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would’ve listened and not be so bad
I’m sorry your life turned out this way
I’m sorry that the FEDS came and took me away

[Bridge]

[Chorus]

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
In a 21 and older club they say
Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I’ll take that blame
Even though the blame’s on you [3x]
I’ll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me [2x]
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me

I try to make everyone’s day a little more surreal.

“‘No. I don’t want ever to go through this kind of pain again. I don’t want ever to leave myself open to this much hurt. I was wrong ever to let myself fall in love with him in the first place.’

Kahlan shook her head again.

‘I don’t want him to come back.’”

- “Temple of the Winds” by Terry GoodKind

---

“‘Not Richard. I’ll not trust my heart to him again. Regardless of what I did, that doesn’t make it right for him to hurt me as he did. He just walked away from me, and after he’d made promises of always loving me no matter what. He failed me in that test.’

'I never thought he would hurt me like that. i thought my heart was safe with him, no matter what, but it wasn't'”

- “Temple of the Winds” by Terry GoodKind

There’s an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.

"He saw a chance, a vague and misty path through the fog, so dangerous that the mere thought of it stopped his breath. But he'd already started along that path - he'd been pushing through it blindly, picking his way among the pits and mires - and now the sun had risen within him, and the fog had begun to burn away.

He saw that he was already doing it right: he was already on a path that led to everything, if he only had the guts to risk it all. The slightest hesitation, the vaguest stirrings of fear, and he'd be lost. The demons that patrolled this path would close in and rend him at the first hint of uncertainty, but he didn't mind that at all."
- "Heroes Die" by Matthew Woodring Stover

As it turns out, the second path does exist. After three applications, i finally managed to get onto it.

My parents are happy. I should be happy.

But i'm not. Why?

Perhaps its because i'm out of my comfort zone. Perhaps its because i'm so damn tired of re-applying to that position and company. Perhaps its because i'm suddenly not sure if thats what i actually want. Perhaps its because i'm worried that the talentless me will fail spectacularly.

Apprehensive. Worried. Nervous. Whatever it is, "happy" is definitely not my mood now.

Update: 19/10/08
I almost forgot. Happy Birthday to my three-year-old blog. It has been through with me:

• Two relationships,
• My first real job in the rat race,
• I'm about to commence my second job,
• Loads of nonsensical rantings from me,
• Loads of grief, and
  
• Loads of happiness

So far, it has been going well for this blog. I don't think i'll be quitting this any time soon. :)

See if we can sell Mom and Dad into slavery for a star cruiser.

Now, in relation to my old post on time-travelling, i seemed to have stumbled upon a real life black hole.

Yes, my friends. A real life black hole. And i am not joking.

If you have ever been to the toilets on the first storey of The Cathay Building, you'll know what i'm on about.

The first time you try finding your way to the said toilets, you will have to go through a door first. This door is very important. I shall touch on it later. Now, along the long passageway, there are decorative circles of different sizes on the walls. I suspect they were placed there to distract you from the long journey. Not me though. I think those circles are actually planets of the solar system. I think there was one that suspiciously looked like the moons of Jupiter.

But no matter, we shall press on. And then when you pass the door that leads to the carpark, you really start to think: Is this journey ever going to end? And bear in mind, your bladder is going to burst under the continuing strain of containment throughout the entire space journey. But we didn't win the world wars by giving up, did we? No. The human spirit shall prevail. And indeed, you finally reached your destination. The sighs of relief probably could be heard throughout the entire solar system in which you just travelled through.

And then, you start on the long journey back. Now that your bladder has been relieved of its burden, you feel much better and start to take notice of the scenery. That extra small circle looks like Pluto. And those little dots there look like the asteriod belt. Hhhmm.... Oh, yes. We have passed the door that leads to the carpark.

And when you finally reach the last door, the minute you step out and back into The Cathay Building, you find that you have aged ten years. You start to look around blearly and your feet are shaking with fatigue after that long journey. Your friends probably look at you in horror, exclaiming about how different you look and why did you take so damn long.

Now. Back to that important door. I really do think they have somehow managed to capture a black hole and shove it indiscreetly into that doorway. So when you step in and out of that door, you won't notice it. The only evidence that the black hole is there, is the signs of aging when you come out through that door.

And you know the worst thing? Us guys aged ten years when we come out of that door.

The girls? I think they aged thirty years when they come out of that door.

I’ve got plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it.

I have been found lacking in work. And to be honest, i really don't have an explanation for my mistakes.

Thus far, whenever a problem arises, i instinctively know what to do and have an inkling of a solution in mind. This time my instincts deserted me, and all avenues of escape were closed. No matter how hard i tried, there doesn't seem to be solution for it. I just stood there helpless, mind panicking and not knowing what to do.

Even my boss told me, "Eh. This is not your usual standards. What's wrong with you? Too busy?"

I just kept quiet. Simply because i don't have a good explanation for my mistakes.

But whatever the case, the worst of it is over. I really need to do this properly now. Professionally and correctly.

The captain has turned off the seat belt sign. Thank you for choosing Ensui’s Flight 240 non-stop to Stoney Gulch.

Here are a couple of photos from the Singapore Motorshow 2008.

---

"Mark: Its pretty impressive that you've got the car in here today as well. Thats good.
Jeremy: I don't think its a real one. I think its one of those fake ones that businessmen buy to put in their offices when you're finished with it, isn't it?
Mark: I think you're right. Yeah.
Jeremy: Yeah, I don't think you'll win... Mind you, probably faster than your one this year.
Mark: Oei..."
- Jeremy Clarkson and Mark Webber in "Top Gear" Season 6 Episode 10

"They design all this. Everything on it is all fluid and they go and put this vertical windscreen on.
Thats whats slowing you down, mate. Seriously."
- Jeremy Clarkson interviewing Jenson Button in "Top Gear" Season 8 Episode 8

This is an amphibious car by RinSpeed. According to the video at the exhibition, it can actually travel underwater. It has an electric motor, so it doesn't really go all that fast. :p

"Its hard to say how much power the GTR develops, because each engine - as i said last week - is hand-built, and each one is therefore a little bit different.
But i think they put a million horsepower in this one because the acceleration is just... blistering!
Its just... savage! God, its face-ripping!
With the launch control engaged, I did 0-60 (mph) in 3.5 seconds, and flat out, its even more impressive."
- Jeremy Clarkson in "Top Gear" Season 11 Episode 5

"With a 0-60 (mph) time of 4.3 seconds and a top speed of 192 (mph), the Gallardo blitz the Porsche and the Aston. And with a 100 breakhorse power more than you get in a Ferrari 360, it nukes that too."
- Jeremy Clarkson in "Top Gear" Season 3 Episode 4

---

All in all, its disappointing to say the least. Mostly because there aren't any european cars in it. Cars like Ferrari, Lamborghini, Audi and Volkswagon were all absent.

And because of that, the motor girls were all posing alongside with unglamorous family saloons and seven-seaters.

And the worse bit?

You have to pay for admission. (-.-)