Do you think love is nothing but a biochemical reaction designed to make sure our genes get passed on?

“In that last dance of chances
I shall partner you no more.
I shall watch another turn you
As you move across the floor.

In that last dance of chances
When I bid your life goodbye
I will hope she treats you kindly.
I will hope you learn to fly.

In that last dance of chances
When I know you’ll not be mine
I will let you go with longing
And the hope that you’ll be fine

In that last dance of chances
We shall know each other’s minds.
We will part with our regrets
When the tie no longer binds”

- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

How can something seem so plausible at the time and so idiotic in retrospect?

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT bring my two good friends to see any sort of masculine movie such as 300 or - just last night - Beowulf.

Why?

The reaction after the movie will be most infuriating and frustrating and exasperating.

-----

Who am i?
I AM BEOWULF!!!

Can we please decide on where we shall go next?
I AM BEOWULF!!!

While in the car, waiting at the lights...
Eh. How come those kids are crossing the lights? Oh yeah, the lights are red. I wanted to roll down the window and shout "I AM BEOWULF!!!"

While parking the car...
Eh, there is a couple in the car next to us. Lets knock on their window and shout "I AM BEOWULF!!!"

Who wrote Jurassic Park?
I AM BEOWULF!!!

After signing onto MSN...
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF!!!!
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: nah beiz....
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: seven morning eight morning shout i am beowulf
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: go back to sleep lah.
Roy_Leng says: i juz woke up
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: go back to sleep.
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF.... I DO NOT SLEEP!!

<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: why are you so crappy? because you just wake up issit?
Roy_Leng says: yep
Roy_Leng says: coz....
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF!!!!!
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: you are so dead.
Roy_Leng says: yr treats do not frighten me....
Roy_Leng says: I have slain sea monsters, rip off the heart of the dragon....
Roy_Leng says: and...
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF!!!
-----

For a nominal sum, i'll happily rip their hearts/throats out to keep them silent. (-.-)

Two part slush, one part solid ice. One part hard-packed snow, a dash of assorted debris. Sculpt into sphere, & serve at high velocity without warning

After serving the country for almost three weeks in the flies-kangaroo-wallaby infested land of Down Under, there are a few ideas which i've thought and encountered.

-----

Firstly, when serving the country, we men automatically degrade our language. We start to curse and swear with no discrimination. We use vulgarities like punctuations. Its almost as if the restraints of courtesy and manners have been unleashed and our true selves appear. As one of my officers remarked, "Army without swearing, just doesn't seem right. It just doesn't seem to work."


Secondly, when serving the country, we men automatically turn horny. Its probably due to the all-guys environment. Whenever a female is in our vicinity, provided she's not fugly moderately looking, we start behaving like wolves eying a lone sheep or lamb. It doesn't matter whether we're attached or married, we will start mentally undressing leering admiring the woman. FHM and Maxim magazines are always available in abundance, and are perused with wide eyes and bated breaths. They are usually returned to the disgusted owner in a condition so soggy and worn out that it makes you wonder what your friends have done with them.


Thirdly, after being outfield for approximately 7 days, we men can go a little crazy. One fine example was one of my officers. He was out laying obstacles at a junction for our enemies and planned to attack them from behind. Our operations/planning officer asked him what kind of name he wanted for this operation. His response? "Operation gan-ka-cheng", literally translated as "Operation Poke-Backside" or for the more civilised/educated/learned mind, "Operation Sodomy". For his efforts and the hilarious operation name, he took down a mine-clearing team and a tank.


Fourth. Active servicemen (those who are serving their customary two years of service) are so gullible.
First example - We managed to capture a grand total of 14 numbers of recce/scouts, with four captured by our unit. How? Here is what happened:
Enemy Recce: *seeing one of our men* Eh. I can't seem to find Tango Zero Eight.
Our man: *thinks quickly* Eh. I can't find it also leh.
Enemy Recce: Which unit you from, by the way?
Our man: *names their allied unit* C'mon. I saw something over there.
Our man: *walks to our vehicle, holding the enemy recce* Sir, caught him already.
After capturing two recces, our officer sits down with them in front of the vehicle, brings out some beer and starts chatting with them casually. After some time, the third recce came out, surrendered himself and joins in the conversation. After some time, the fourth recce came out and surrendered himself. Four recces/scouts caught. All without breaking a sweat. :D
Second example - We were caught behind the enemy lines because we were slacking and sleeping off. After much thinking, our officer decided that we will try and rejoin our main force. We then proceeded to remove any traces that would identify us and drove as casually as we could. We passed by our enemy troops and tanks, behaving like we knew what we were doing. Not a single person stopped us to verify our identification or our unit. We managed to rejoin our forces in time. :D


Fifth. There is different mindset when we men switch from civilian mode to reservist mode. When we are in civilian mode, our minds are mostly concentrated on work. Once we put on that uniform or enter the camp, we automatically go into reservist mode. Granted, we don't have to stress out about work but the mindset is completely different. Once we enter the camp, our responsibilities and job scope is very different. Its almost like wrenching out your civilian brain and transplanting an army brain into your head. The transition sometimes works seamlessly, but it always requires a great deal of adjustment.


-----

There. Now that i've managed to heave my lazy ass off the bed and onto the computer to post this, please excuse me while i heave my lazy ass back into slacking clearing my leave slowly change my mindset back into civilian mode.

At this room, time enters a no-passing zone.

Arrived home today to be told that we have a new shed.

Thats right. A shed.

So i went to the back to have a look, only to see a great big monster staring at me through the kitchen window.

The bloody thing is about 5 million metres 5m by 8 million metres 8m. And about 3 million metres 3m high.

What in the name of all thats holy, possessed my father to buy an oversize plastic doll-house that can hold a million a thousand a hundred 50 illegal immigrants?!

Help. Save me from my parents. (-.-)

“I’m significant!” screamed the dust speck.

<grump>

There is a place called Central^© just above Clarke Quay MRT station.

I don't like that place.

Its full of beautiful people.

And i'm not one of them.

-----

Our office has moved to one floor up, due to the exorbitant landlord wanting to cash in on the uprising property market and therefore charging exorbitant rent.

As a result, i've we've just spent the whole of Friday and Saturday doing manual labour by packing, moving and unpacking.

Now our semi-new office is up and running just after two days of furious packing, coordinating the movers, unpacking and setting up our work-stations, albeit moving only one floor up.

Now i have officially exceeded reached my yearly quota of manual labour which is just one hour.

</grump>

Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!

“All of life is in our minds.
Where else does it take place, where else do we add up what it means to us and subtract what we have lost?
An event is just an event until some person attaches meaning to it.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

Feelings are what we are always subjected to and susceptible to, and perhaps the most primal and basic feeling is fear.

Its that deep choking feeling that engulfs your entire body. The overwhelming sense of helplessness. That feeling of desperation. The feeling that causes adrenaline to pump through your veins and fumbles your brain and senses.

There is fear of pain, fear of hurt. Fear of losing, fear of being beaten. Fear of rejection, fear of love. Fear of anything and everything.

Animals live daily in fear. Will they be eaten or killed today? Will they be cast out from the pack or herd? A mouse trembles in fear, frozen by the terror as a snake bears down on its next meal. Fear causes animals to run faster or they will become the main course for carnivores. Fear is what causes a zebra to try and drown a lioness in a lake, which has a death grip on its neck. Fear is what causes the dominant males to match the herd leader's strength. Un-dominant males are not tolerated.

Are we any different?

We fear of being replaced. We fear of not being able to raise our family and loved ones. As a result, we work harder because of our loved ones. We do not wish them to suffer from our lack of efforts. We fear that the company might lose an important client or project because of our misjudgment and lack of knowledge. We fear of failing our exams, because we fear of disappointing our parents and their wrath.

“Something timeless,
Something older than the fallen mountains,
And newer than a seed unfurling in rich soil.
Such is love.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

We fear love because we have lost it once, twice, thrice or many times, and hence we fear events repeating themselves and therefore, we fear of experiencing the pain of loss again. We fear of rushing into things, because we fear of looking foolish or we fear of being rejected. Because we fear of being alone, so we fear being unattractive, we fear behaving differently and we fear being just us.

We fear being different or unusual, because we fear the mockery, disdain and ostracism. We fear of being shunned by others, because we fear the loneliness. We fear abnormalities, because we fear mishaps. We fear change, because we fear coming out of our comfort zone. We fear stagnation, because we fear of not improving and progressing.

Ultimately, fear is what keeps us alive and all our senses tingling. If one doesn't fear anything, then one is dead no matter how alive one is.

What do you fear?

“Sometimes it seems unfair that events so old can reach forward through the years, sinking claws into one’s life and twisting all that follows it.
Yet perhaps that is the ultimate justice: we are the sum of all we have done added to the sum of all that has been done to us.
There is no escaping that, not for any of us.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Kindly note the following:

Please excuse Ensui from work blogging for the next 4 to 5 weeks. His PC's motherboard has crashed and the internet connection is throwing a tanturm. And by the time the repaired motherboard is expected to return, he will be flying off to Australia to serve his country. His genius is urgently required on a top secret matter of national security.

Sincerely,
The President of the United States

P.S. Really.

Sianz^1,000,000 and Argh^1,000,000.

Further Bulletins as Events Warrant...

My graphics card just went kaput again. I just changed it a couple of weeks ago, in July.

Argh.

Back then, my screen showed specks of color during startup. So i went to the service centre to swap for another one. Now, the screen doesn't even appear at all. I can't see anything, so i can't even try and watch a video or even listen to music.

Double Argh.

I'm using the family's computer now and am officially bored. (-.-)

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

The time now is 1.30am in the morning and the news isn't good, i'm afraid. I've just returned from the office, i'm bone-weary, tired and absolutely exhausted.

And i still have drawings to check before i go to bed.

God help me.

-----

Update:
12/09/07
I've finally succumbed. I'm taking leave for today to rest. Can't. Take. It. Anymore. *collapse* (-.-)

Check the following list of handy expletives, and see that you know how to use them.

Apology Letter to the Boss of a Architectural Firm:

I wish to apologize for my rude behavior on Friday. I know, i know. I was childish, impolite and just plain obnoxious.

But.

Allow me to show you my schedule on that day:

• 9.30am - First Meeting
  
• 12.30pm - Finished First Meeting
• 1.00pm - Arrived back at office
• 1.30pm - Leave office for Second Meeting
• 2.00pm - Second Meeting
• 2.30pm - Leave for Third Meeting
• 3.00pm - Third Meeting
  

As you can see, my itinerary was packed. After my first meeting, when i arrived back in office, i had to continue my tender preparations for Monday, and my preparations were only half-done. When i reached your office at 2.00pm, i hadn't even eaten my lunch. And i had only 30mins to go through whatever issues that had arise.

And while i was explaining something to you, you said, "I'm an Architectural Registered Inspector (R.I.). I know the rules and regulations." I kept quiet. Mostly out of deference to you since you're the boss of the firm, you're elderly and you have lots of experience.

But when your younger Architect showed the portion of the Code of Practice which reaffirms my explanation and statement, I lost it.

I'm sorry. I should have kept quiet and at least, speak in a more reasonable "I-told-you-so" tone of voice.

You are old. You are the boss of the architectural firm. You have heaps of experience. You deserve respect and recognition.

Therefore, i offer my humble apologies and will do my best not to make the same mistake again.

-----

Note: A hungry man is an angry man indeed. (-.-)

There are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

"Moo..."
"Arf!"
Cow Has A New Friend.

-----

Shameful, isn't it?

The minute my repaired internet connection is finally up and running, my first post is something completely childish, irrelevant and immature.

Welcome to my world. :D

The Incurable Weirdness Poster Child

"Eh. How come the floodlights are on? National Day over already mah."

It was a simple question asked by me.

Tonight, after much discussion over coffee, it appears that i've been subsequently knighted by

King Roy-of-Pure-Oxygen-That-Keeps-The-Fire-Burning

and

Queen Rosie-of-Dry-Wood-That-Fuels-The-Fire.

I, thusly, have been knighted / renamed as

Osama-bin-Ensui,

The-One-Who-Started-The-Fire,

Instigator of all Conspiracy Theories,

Bringer of Aids and Ebola and Worldwide Epidemics and All Other Necessary Bad Things To Effect a Complete and Satisfactory Infamy.

... ...

...

*shakes head* Its great comfort to know that friends always have my best interests in mind. (-.-)

Words of Wisdom from Very Wise Taxi Drivers Part Two

Whenever i work late into the night, i usually take a taxi home if its after 10pm. Reason being because i'm usually dead-tired by then, and if i had to take the train, i still have to walk some distance, which i can't be bothered to. (-.-)

Last week late in night, when i took a taxi home, the driver and i chatted for a while. He remarked that he had been sending customers to the east side (Bedok area) all day, and now i'm another one. Following that, he then proceeded to tell me about all the different kinds of people that taxi drivers meet.

1. He was once behind another empty taxi, and saw it ignore a wheelchair-ed person who was trying to hail him. Furthermore, it was drizzling and the empty taxi just sped off. He angrily told me, "That guy had better pray and hope that he/his kin will not receive any disease or injury that will cause them to be wheelchair-bound. Because if they do, they will receive the same treatment like he had given." Bad karma, in other words.
   
2. He had picked up a young girl before and drove her home. Upon reaching the girl's home, she confessed to not having enough money. He then asked ironically, "So how?" The girl replied, "How ah. Let you touch me lor." He then furiously told her, "Eh. Girl. Don't play this kind of game. Next time no money, just say no money." The girl walked away, untouched and unpaid.
3. There was once where he had worked till late and was preparing to go home via one last trip. So he put up the sign "Yishun", signifying that he will only take customers to Yishun. A few kids hailed his taxi, and told him that they were going to Yishun. They then held up five fingers. He asked, "What? One person five dollars?" They replied, "No. Can fetch us all for five dollars?" He refused and the kids pleaded to him, saying that they only have so little money and needed to go home. He told them to wait till morning for the first bus/train.
4. His friend had picked up a young girl before, and the girl sat beside him at the passenger seat. Along the way, while changing gear, the girl grab his hand and laid it on her thighs, exclaiming that she was so cold and if he could feel her being so cold. At the end of the journey, the girl said she didn't have enough money. When asked further, she said, "Uncle, you touched me just now leh. So how arh?" She walked away, unpaid.
   

With such recounting and experiences, he has a few practices now:

• He doesn't let his female customers sit in the passenger seat beside him, for fear of Events 2 & 4 happening again.
• He is wary of picking up kids, because of the above-mentioned events.

Taxi drivers sure meet all kinds of people. If each of them could tell their stories on the people they meet, i'm sure we'll be able to profile all the different characters in this country. :D

The Truth Will Set Your Teeth Free.

National Day. The day where we gained independence. The day where we celebrate the birth of our country. The day where we show our love and affection for our homeland.

Do i love this country?

Perhaps we should explore what it means when we say we love this country.

When we say we love this country, it means that we love the country that has:

1. Drivers who turn without signaling / indicating,
2. People who push / shove their way into a crowded train, oblivious that there isn't any space at all and/or leaning on the grab-bars, ignoring the fact that their bodies are the size of Africa and that no one else can use it,
   
3. People who talk too loudly on their handphones or to their friends,
4. Kids who play music loudly on their handphones' speakers,
5. A single ruling party since the dinosaurs,
6. Advertisements which still use the symbol "@" eg. E-Centre @ Redhill, NYP @ Expo. C'mon guys, the "@" is out of fashion already! Move on!
7. The most screwed-up weather. It rains with the sun burning brightly, alternate between raining and burning hot within the hour and/or burning hot at 7am in the morning.
8. Parents who compare their children's grades and bequeath an unholy amount of stress on their children
9. Parents who spoil their children and/or not teaching them any manners
   

So. The question remains: Do i love this country?

No.

Don't get me wrong. I may not love this country, but my family is here and i grew up here. I have a duty and responsibility to protect it.

But do i love it?

I'm afraid not.

The majority of work in this thesis is original. However, some assistance with material and research has been provided by my fellow Gong-ers: Part 2

Presenting the sequel to Theories Part One (Ref: Ensui, 18 January 2007)...

You know you are seriously addicted to mahjong when you start correlating bus numbers to mahjong tiles.

Let me explain.

Lets say you are at a bus stop and are waiting for bus number 14 to take you home. Now, since only bus number 14 can take you home, this means that you "dan-diao" aka you're waiting for only one tile.

So by that same token of logic, if you're waiting for bus number 111, it means that you "dan-diao" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, third paragraph) three bamboo aka "san-suo". This is because there are three ones, and they look like the bamboo in mahjong tiles. On the other hand, you could also say that you are waiting for a "pong" aka three of the same kind, which is three ones in this case.

So while waiting for that single bus - be it bus number 111 or 14 or whichever number that applies in the current circumstances - to take you home, bus number 143 and 7 comes along. A bunch of girls get on the bus number 7, and you think to yourself: Darn. Those girls already "hu" aka win liaoz, and i haven't. Should i change my tiles to get a better chance of winning aka by walking to another bus stop? No, its too late in the game to change my tiles. I shall remain here.

10 mins later, another 143 comes along. Then you start thinking: Darn. I could have used bus number 143 as "yan-jing" aka two mahjong tiles of the same type. Then bus number 77 appears, then you start thinking: Hey! I can "pong" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fourth paragraph)!

Another 10 mins pass, another bus number 7 appears and right behind is the bus you were waiting for.

Now this situation is slightly complicated, but i shall explain the best way i can.

So firstly, you "gung" aka four of the same kind, which is mahjong tile 7 in this case. So you pick a tile from the "flower" side and find the tile that you were waiting for, which means that you "hu" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fifth paragraph)! That also means that since you picked the winning tile from the "flower" side, you "hua-sang"!

So in summary, you "gung" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, seven paragraph), "hua-sang" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, seventh paragraph) and "hu" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fifth paragraph)!

And so you board the bus which you "dan-diao" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, third paragraph) for so long, and seat yourself with a small self-congratulatory smile on your face.

Oh. One other thing.

If one day, you see a bus number "hong-zhong" aka a red middle, "bai-ban" aka white coffin, or "fa-cai" aka wealth, you need to seek help. Fast.

Sometimes it’s good to hush up for a while and let autumn stick in a few words.

"Dragon, turn.
Dragon, climb.
Dragonrider, watch for sign.
Firestone chew.
Dragon, flame.
Char the Thread, make it tame."
- “Dragonsblood” by Todd McCaffrey

I'm due for a NS reservist call-up next week.

The good news:
My boss managed to defer me.

The bad news:
I won't be able to escape the next call-up. It'll from October to November, and its in Australia. Exercise Wallaby.

The good news:
Going to Australia. If there's one thing i miss terribly of Australia, its the calm, peacefulness and tranquility.
When i was still studying in Australia, amongst the various houses that i've stayed in, there was a student hostel situated just behind the university.
Living there was somehow even more peaceful than other places. This was because as you walk up the well-made brick footpath to your unit, you're surrounded by greenery and only sporadic houses/flats. The road is on the other side, so you can't see any cars or transport. All you see and hear is nature and the quiet bustling of students going about their daily lives.
Sadly, we don't have that over here. There are roads everywhere and within sight. True, there is greenery, but its different somehow.

The bad news:
The next call-up will be for three weeks and i'm not sure if my boss/colleagues will be able to cope.

“When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, near a whisper. “In the Eridani Way, we are taught that harmony is everything. A good change is invisible, like the wind. It belongs – it seems like an obvious part of the ecosystem.”
“You remember the ancient tailor’s saying: Measure twice, cut once?” she continued.
Emily nodded.
“The Eridani would say measure a million times, then a million times more and see if you can’t possibly find a way to avoid the cut. ‘A world is not easily mended,’ they say.””
- “Dragonsblood” by Todd McCaffrey

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." - Jackie Mason

Its official.

I got the flu.

As declared by me. As declared by the good doctor. As declared by the two days MC granted to me.

Grumpy-Me: Must be Adrenaline pass to me one. Dunnoe how she did it, but must be she passed to me one. (-.-)

Shameless-Me: Someone must be thinking of me. Thats why i'm sneezing so much. :D

Insane-Me: I'm going to board the train at peak hour tomorrow and sneeze on everyone! That way, everybody will get the flu too and get MC! o.o

Workaholic-Me: Will try to recover in one day and get back to work. I have too much stuff to clear. >.<

Childish-Me: Yeah! Got MC! Can play computer games all day tomorrow! 0.o

Help. I'm going crazy. (-.-)

Parodies at Work Part 271,197,083

The week before last was pretty insane. For your easy-viewing pleasure, let me break it down for you:-

Monday
Had a meeting in the morning to discuss our presentation on Wednesday. I'm assisting my Executive Director and we were in a competition with other teams to do a project for JTC. It involves building 15 empty factories, which is currently very much in demand by lots of companies.

In the afternoon, my boss called me and our conversation went somewhat like this:

Boss: How are you doing with your projects arh? Think you can handle one more?

Me: *mutters* Erm... Yeah, i think so.

Boss: I have a project with SPH. But the meeting time keeps clashing with my other meeting times. ISO says that i need a back-up in cases like this. So i need you to cover for me, just in case. You tomorrow morning free?

Me: *searches through my planner* Yeah, i'm free.

Boss: Ok. The meetings are usually on Tuesday mornings. So tomorrow you follow me to the meeting for the SPH project.


Tuesday
Before the meeting, the phone rang at the reception counter. Since our girls were busy and no one was around to take the call, i answered it:

Other person on the line: Hi, i'm calling from the Singapore Autism School. I'm preparing the Letter of Appointment for your company. Would you like to collect it personally? Or you want us to post it to you?

Me: *stumped momentarily* Erm... I'll check with my Boss and let you know. Can i have your name and contact number please?

Right after, our reception girl appeared and i told her about the phone call. She nods and said that she'll ask Boss. Right on cue, Boss emerges from his office and our reception girl informs him immediately:

Reception Girl: Boss. The Singapore Autism School called and asked if they should post the Letter of Appointment or we go collect it personally.

Boss: *Frowning at the offending piece of paper with the name and contact of the person* We have a project with them meh?

Reception Girl: Yes. A long time ago. We applied for it via the internet.

Boss: *still staring at the offending piece of paper, knowing that we have too many projects to handle* Wah liao...

At 10.30am, i followed Boss to the meeting for our SPH project. As it was my first meeting and i had no prior knowledge of what was going on, i tried as best as i could to understand the on-goings. The meeting only finished at 1.00pm, with Boss and I walking around the site.
At 2.30pm, i had another meeting for a condominium project. Since i had a late lunch, i arrived late naturally.
At 4.00pm, i headed off for another meeting at MOE. Only arrived home at about 8pm.


Wednesday
Went for the presentation to JTC and EDB in the morning. Sat right through the entire project without uttering a word. The 'main actors' were the Architect and the Developer/Contractor. As M&E Engineers, we were probably the least important of the consultants team.

When people see a building, they observe how it looks *cue the Architect*. The building has to be safe and not collapse *cue the Structural Engineer*. The project must be on budget *cue the Quantity Surveyor*. As long as the air-conditioning works fine, the electrical switchboard doesn't trip, people don't really care about us M&E Engineers.

After the presentation, as i stepped wearily into the office, my reception girl tells me, "Eh. The Singapore Autism School will be under you hor. Boss say one"


Thursday
My Executive Director told me that the Architect for the JTC project has just called him. Through various contacts, she has heard that we have gotten the project aka won the competition. In other words, he will guide me along but i will be doing most of the work.

So.

In a nutshell, in a space of one week, i am saddled with three new projects: SPH, JTC's 15 new factories and the Singapore Autism School. How brilliant is that. (-.-)

-----

Last week, one of our engineers (the Indonesian one >.<) had to fly back to his homeland because his grandmother had died. He will only be back next week.

Daniel's leg has been giving him grief lately. Each time he walks, pain lances through his right leg. He has even seen a chinese physician, but to no avail. He's gonna see a proper doctor tomorrow afternoon.

So if he takes MC, which is highly likely, that means that I'm the only engineer left to handle any problems that may arise from my colleagues' projects.

And i'm starting to feel the symptoms of flu coming onto me: Blocked Nose, Slight Cough, Scratchy Throat, Head Feels Like Its Been Stuffed With Wool. You know the rest.

This is going to the longest week ever. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Four

I glanced around the road as i exited my house. Time to torture my body with my weekly exercise. I started off a slow jog as i made my way towards the new underpass to East Coast.

I had just gotten up and went downstairs for breakfast. I was told that there was a package left at our doorstep. Frowning to myself, wondering who could have sent it, i went to have a look. A sneaking suspicion had entered a tiny corner in my mind.

As i jogged, i started my customary breathing pace. I tried to recall the song i used last weekend, and pace my breathing with it. But no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't recall the tune. Shaking my head to get rid of any distractions, i tried to recall some music. I finally found one and paced my breathing with it.

When i saw the handwriting, i immediately thought: Oh shit. Don't tell me its her. And it was her. I opened the package and inside was a box and an envelop. The letter inside was written in her handwriting and signed with what looked like her new signature. Her new signature looked somewhat like mine, with a big inverted-C-curve as a "J". The box contained her birthday present to me: a pair of gorilla cuff-links.

It was a relatively cloudy day. Perhaps that was the reason why there were so little people about when i emerged from the other side of the underpass. Or perhaps the school holidays has ended. Whatever it was, i jogged in relative solitude with a few passing cyclists and roller-bladers. Not that i'm complaining. Jogging by nature is usually a lonely exercise, and i had already gotten used to it.

I had stored all our memories together into a room. I had locked that room and threw away the key. In fact, i had almost forgotten about that room. The birthday present had exploded the door to that room. With the room wide open like a burst dam, the memories rushed out in a torrential flood.

As i jogged past my first mental marker, i put my arms behind my back. This pushes my body forward and increases my pace. As i jogged up the small slope, i started to breathe heavily and in faster breaths. The number of people has increased as i entered a more popular area. Needless to say, there are girls around. I keep my eyes straight, try not to look around and focus on the repetitive tune playing in mind to pace my breathing. I'm here to jog, not to pick up girls.

What should i do? How should i react? What does this mean? Conflicts of emotions raged within me. The whirlwind of feelings swept within my mind. Without my daily dose of caffeine and when i just woke up, it was quite a shock to the system. I couldn't think. I didn't know what to think. I was confused. Seriously and utterly confused.

As i push past my second mental marker, i lengthen my strides. Now i'm entering really crowded areas. There is a bicycle/roller-blade rental shop where i make my U-turn to jog home. Hordes of people exit from the shop and head for their respective destinations. As i ran comfortably past the pedestrians, i pushed myself as much as i could. No point in exercising when i don't push my body to the limit.

Back in my room, i called and text-ed Caffeine Addict. I needed her advice. I needed someone to talk to. She replied almost instantly. We talked for a bit. I'm a complete novice when it comes to two matters: affairs of the heart, and understanding girls. When i told her that i was about to go jogging, she said, "Thats good. Exercising releases happy drugs. Try and do things. Happy things."

As i emerge back from the underpass, i jog slowly to the fitness corner some distance away. My legs were tired, but the rest of my body were still fine. As i tried to get my breath back, i paced around the fitness corner. Kids ran around in the nearby playground, playing the age-old game of "catching". Bracing myself and giving myself some short breaks, i completed my routine of sit-ups and pull-ups. With those done, i walked slowly home. Just another normal Sunday.

The whirl in my emotions had subsided. I grew calmer and started looking up. Thank you, Caffeine Addict. My life is starting to get back on track. Slowly, but surely. And to her: I really DO appreciate you remembering my birthday and your birthday present of gorilla cuff-links. For now, i just need a little time for my emotions to settle down. Thank you once again.

"We said we were gonna play the game, like we had nothing to lose." - Danny Ocean from "Ocean's Eleven"

Sitting down, i thought to myself, "This is it. Lets take the plunge. Its all or nothing."

As the events fall into place like jigsaw pieces fitting each other perfectly, my stomach started to clenched in a tight knot.

My shoulders tensed up. My entire body went rigid and my palms grew sweaty. I kept thinking, "Please don't fail. Please don't fail. Please don't fail. Come on. Come on. Come on."


And then, it finally arrived.

Was i mis-seeing, indulging in a wish fulfillment? I found myself unable to speak, unable to rise to the occasion in any fashion. I mutely showed what i had.

My friends were stunned into silence. All of them stared in shock, their eyes couldn't quite believe what had happened. Only one recovered in time to whisper...

... ...

...

"Five-tai"

...

As exhilaration coursed through my body, the tension is released. All of a sudden, i felt weak and drained of energy. But how i felt was of no consequence and no importance. The next round has begun...

-----

Despite this happening three times, winning money is still always a good feeling.

Yes. Yes. I know. I'm rubbing it in. But hey, all of us are entitled to a little bit of self-congratulatory and vanity, are we not? :D