Why is it you always rip your pants on the day everyone has to demonstrate a maths problem at the chalkboard?

And of course, it also includes trying to learn a new Chinese song when your Chinese is utterly rubbish. :p

The 5-ton carnivorous lizard can run faster than a charging rhino! What can be more horrifying? Besides the blood-curdling roar of its mum…

What some advice on driving off-road?

Give up on that sissy Land Cruiser. xD

Stupidity produces antibodies.

“It was no more than the bones of his affection, but she seized on it. 'I would, my lord.' It hurt me to see her content with so little.”
- “Assassin's Quest” by Robin Hobb

Have you ever felt so lonely and dejected that you hunger and thirst for love?

So much so, that when someone so beautiful and hot gives you some attention or even some affection, you lap it all up?

And even though you already know things are impossible between the two of you, you do anything to make her happy?

And the minute she comes seeking you, you drop everything to be by her side?

And even though you know that you're being taken for a ride, and that all your efforts would be seen as friendship by her, you still do it anyway?

And the reason for behaving this way, is that you are so fugly and pathetic, that you would gladly take any attention that comes your way, even more so by someone so beautiful and hot?

Us guys are a predictable lot. Show us a pretty girl, and we will do anything, including moving the world, for her.

“I love her still, just as much as I did when she left me. I thought then that, when all my tasks were done, I would find her and somehow we would be happy together. And here we are, sixteen years later, and I still haven’t managed to find my way back to her.”
- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

I’d say that crossed the line from ironic coincidence to evil omen.

Yesterday morning, on the way to work:

Dad: So have you found a girlfriend yet?

Me: Nope.

Dad: Why not?

Me: Well, my previous company was small. So i had lots to do. Now, my current company is big. But i'm busy learning as much as i can. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't, i'm not too bothered.

---

Yesterday after lunch, on the way to a supplier:

Taxi-driver: Sometimes, a guy must learn how to cook. So that when the wife doesn't cook, at least he can take over. By the way, are you married?

Me: Erm... No.

Taxi-driver: You have a girlfriend?

Me: *chuckle nervously* That's the problem. No.

Taxi-driver: Why not? Cannot lah. You got no excuse. Uncle here so ugly, can find a wife. You're better looking than Uncle, so you have no excuse not to have a girlfriend.

---

Yesterday evening, on the way to a wedding dinner:

Male Colleague: Us guys need to approach girls one. Where got girls approach guys? So you need to start approach girls leh.

Me: Don't want lah. When girls see me, they will start to run lor. If i start approaching them, they might even commit suicide.

---

Yesterday night, just before the wedding dinner commenced:

Boss: Eh. Jason. Got see any pretty girls or not? Then you can approach them lah.

Me: *covers head in despair*

---

I think someone up there is trying to tell me something. :p

Childhood is short and maturity is forever.

I - as the eldest in the family - unfortunately have to grow up. :(

Boys are made of snips, snails & puppy dog tails. Tigers are made of dragonflies & katydids but mostly chewed-up little kids.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door,
for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population,
for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway,
for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters,
for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends,
for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated,
for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned,
this is for you.

The full version is here, along with the Ode to Nice Girls.

How can kids know so much and still be so dumb?

Question:
What happens when you encounter something which defies all logic, reasoning and effort?

Answer:
You're left with two exhausted, tired and grimy engineers.

*collapse*

Frankly, I’m not sure people have the brains to manage the technology they’ve got.

The perfect global warming video for men. xD

His motto is “give before it hurts”.

If there is one word in which i would use to describe my life, it would be:

Control

When i was young, my parents controlled my life's every moment. And i don't begrudge them for that. We are all young and foolish in the early stages of our lives, and we need someone to control us, to discipline us.

And now, it seems that i try and control every aspect of my own life.

I try and control my emotions. When a friend or colleague says something which i disagree, i control myself from yelling at them. Well. I try. But sometimes i'm unsuccessful.

I try and control my body. Even though my legs haven't fully recovered from a run, i go jogging again the day after. I try and eat vegetarian food once a day, because i want to control my weight.

I try and control risks. As a engineer, i have to consider various factors in order for my component/assembly to work. If i can't mitigate them, i restrict them. So far, there hasn't been anything i can't control.

I try and control odds. Socially, there are always games to gamble. I don't like games where i can't control my odds of winning. Therefore, i only play mahjong, Big 2 and Blackjack. In such games, you can control your own cards and hence, control your odds of winning. And if you're skillful enough, you can even control your opponent's cards as well.

So far, control has serve me well. Or rather, it has become subconsciously embedded into my life, such that i don't even notice that i'm doing it.

But because i try and control every aspect of my life, i have become something even worse:

I have become boring.

Then again, if I’m not a wimp, why am I taking the path of least resistance?

"Breathe"

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.

Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.

And we know it's never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesn't work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And we know it's never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can't,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it's not easy,
Easy for me.
It's two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain't easy,
Easy for me.

And we know it's never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

Ohhh

I can't,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Sorry (oh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry

When you’re serious about having fun, its not much fun at all!

When you buy something expensive, it is obviously valuable. Therefore, it makes complete sense that you treasure it and want to protect it somehow.

So if you bought a $120 scarf, its obviously expensive. Because, honestly, how much can scarfs cost?

So. If you had bought such a scarf, it must be treated with care.

Before you take it out, washing of hands is a must. Moreover, you must wash your hands according to the 8 simple steps as recommended by our dear and caring gah men. And no ordinary soap will do. No no, it has to be Dettol. That way, you can ensure that you get rid of all the bacteria which will infect your $120 scarf.



After washing your hands with Dettol, you need to put on your surgical gloves and face mask. Even though you've washed your hands, there is still no guarantee of the absence of germs. And you think your breath is healthy enough for your $120 scarf? No. Just no. Besides, some passer-by might sneeze and ruin your $120 scarf. So, to be safe, surgical gloves and face mask are a must.


Once you have done all that necessary preparations, you can proceed to take out your $120 scarf. Obviously, with it being so expensive, it needs to be in a hermetically-and-liquid-nitrogen sealed container. That way, you can ensure the freshness and mint condition of your $120 scarf.

And to prevent any jealous passer-by from stealing your $120 scarf, you will need to punch in the ten-digit code onto the container's number pad. No precaution is too light for your $120 scarf.

Once you've gained access, much to the amazement of people around you, you can now put on your $120 scarf. Now, i know you've washed your hands and put on the surgical gloves. But you can't be too safe, can you? So you need to use tweezers to extract your $120 scarf. Use a pair, if necessary. They have to be blunt, obviously. Otherwise, the sharp points might pierce into the 100% wool fabric and ruin it.

Once you've used the tweezers to maneuver your $120 scarf in place, you can now bask in the glory and admiration of the people around you.

Be happy and satisfied that you've taken every single reasonable step to protect your $120 scarf.

The longer you wait for the mail, the less there is in it.

"Fallin' For You"

I don't know but...
I think I maybe
fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
keep this to myself

Waiting 'til I..
know you better
I am trying..
Not to tell you..
But I want to..

I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding..
what I'm feeeling..
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my..time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my.. life
and now i found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm falling for you...
I'm falling for you...

As I'm standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
and we start to dance

All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It's juusst
you and me

I'm trying..
Not to tell you..
But I want to..

I'm scared of what you'll say
So I'm hiding..
what I'm feeeling...
But I'm tired of
Holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my.. time
Just thinking about ya
I dont know what to do
I think i'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my.. life
And now I found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...

Ooh, I just can't take it..
My heart is racing..
Emotions keep spinning out...

I've been spending all my.. time
just thinking about ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my..life
and now I found ya
I dont know what to do
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...

I think I'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think i'm fallin' for you
I can't stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can't hide it
I think I'm fallin' for you...
I'm fallin' for you...

Ooohhh
Ooh no no
Oooooohhhhh

Oooh, I'm falling' for ya

I’ll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

"A place where he belongs...

Where... I belong...

The kids from the village are afraid of me.

I haven't really done anything to them, but everyone's afraid of me.

Is it because of my silver hair? Because of my turquoise eyes?

Or... because of my cold personality?"

- Tenth Squad Captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou in Bleach Episode 239: The Awakening Hyōrinmaru! Hitsugaya's Fierce Fight.

There are just four simple machines to alter force: the lever, the pulley, the incline plane and, um, the internal combustion engine.

Somehow, from a standing position, the new Ferrari 458 doesn't look nice. The gaping "mouth" in the front is big enough to swallow me!

But looking from a low position, the "mouth" doesn't look that big. So it actually looks very good.

I’m losing the game, but winning an ambulatory adulthood.

如果前几个星期，你觉得我太烦，我现在真实的跟你道歉。

我太无知了：我以为你这位美女会喜欢我这位小丑。

我应该知道我的身份：我又肥又丑。没有女人会喜欢我的。

谢谢你的时间。

我不会再找你，也不会再烦你了。

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone’s expectations.

Sometimes, even the message was sent, nothing happens.

Ah well. At least i tried.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

"Did You Get My Message?"

Did you get my message, the one I left
While I was trying to condense everything
That I meant in a minute or less when I called to confess
And make all of my stresses go bye-bye

Did you get my message, you did not guess
'cuz if you did you would have called me with your sweet intent
And we could give it a rest
'stead of beating my breast
Making all of the pressure go sky-high

Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
Do they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, completely unrelated to the one I sent

Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, yeah, oooh oooh ooooh hooo

Uh oh, where did it go, must have bopped past your phone
And fallen right outta the window
[Rachel Yamagata:] ooh well, how can I tell?
Shoulda called the operator maybe she know the info
But whether or not my message you got was too much or a lot to reply
[Rachel Yamagata:] why not try this for a fact
Should you ever come back I'd relax and feel relieved
Before my panic attack

Ahh hooo oooh
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, yeah oooh oooh ooooh hooo

Did you get my message, the one that I left
While I was trying to condense everything that I meant
[Rachel Yamagata:] Now the moment is passed
Not much sand in the glass and I'm standing to lose my mind
Do you ever wonder what happens to the words that we send
So they bend, do they break from the flight that they take
And come back together again with a whole new meaning
In a brand new sense, and please be sympathetic to the time I spent

Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, oooh oooh ooooh
Did you get my message, yeah oooh oooh ooooh hooo
Did you get my message
[Rachel Yamagata:] no I didn't hear a word you said
Did you get my message
[Rachel Yamagata:] no I'm not gonna believe your lies anymore
Did you get my message that I want to reconnect with you
Did you get my message
[Rachel Yamagata:] I can hear you say your coming but I don't hear
Why did you get the message love ?
That I want to get back with you
Did you get my message love
That I want to reconnect with you
Why did you get the message love ?
Did you get my message
[Rachel Yamagata and Mraz:] That I want to reconnect with you

Ace pilot spaceman Ensui cruises low over the planet at high speed. I wonder what this “E” on the fuel gauge means.

Its quite discouraging and disheartening to hear that the project, which you've been sweated and bled for, is called a "Battlefield Taxi" by the media.

And its not only in newspapers. Its also on the internet and probably on the TV as well.

Sigh... -__-

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

"我的眼中只有你一个人." My heart cried out.

But my mouth froze and words died in my throat.

I don't know if i will succeed, but i will still try.

Our favourite games are the ones we don’t understand!

"If It Kills Me"

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
It would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Well you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours on end
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

[Chorus:]
Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

How long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Cause maybe there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

[Chorus]

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
I'd tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
Yeah, the feeling inside keeps building
I'll find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me