The majority of work in this thesis is original. However, some assistance with material and research has been provided by my fellow Gong-ers: Part 2

Presenting the sequel to Theories Part One (Ref: Ensui, 18 January 2007)...

You know you are seriously addicted to mahjong when you start correlating bus numbers to mahjong tiles.

Let me explain.

Lets say you are at a bus stop and are waiting for bus number 14 to take you home. Now, since only bus number 14 can take you home, this means that you "dan-diao" aka you're waiting for only one tile.

So by that same token of logic, if you're waiting for bus number 111, it means that you "dan-diao" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, third paragraph) three bamboo aka "san-suo". This is because there are three ones, and they look like the bamboo in mahjong tiles. On the other hand, you could also say that you are waiting for a "pong" aka three of the same kind, which is three ones in this case.

So while waiting for that single bus - be it bus number 111 or 14 or whichever number that applies in the current circumstances - to take you home, bus number 143 and 7 comes along. A bunch of girls get on the bus number 7, and you think to yourself: Darn. Those girls already "hu" aka win liaoz, and i haven't. Should i change my tiles to get a better chance of winning aka by walking to another bus stop? No, its too late in the game to change my tiles. I shall remain here.

10 mins later, another 143 comes along. Then you start thinking: Darn. I could have used bus number 143 as "yan-jing" aka two mahjong tiles of the same type. Then bus number 77 appears, then you start thinking: Hey! I can "pong" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fourth paragraph)!

Another 10 mins pass, another bus number 7 appears and right behind is the bus you were waiting for.

Now this situation is slightly complicated, but i shall explain the best way i can.

So firstly, you "gung" aka four of the same kind, which is mahjong tile 7 in this case. So you pick a tile from the "flower" side and find the tile that you were waiting for, which means that you "hu" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fifth paragraph)! That also means that since you picked the winning tile from the "flower" side, you "hua-sang"!

So in summary, you "gung" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, seven paragraph), "hua-sang" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, seventh paragraph) and "hu" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, fifth paragraph)!

And so you board the bus which you "dan-diao" (Ref: Ensui, 29 July 2007, third paragraph) for so long, and seat yourself with a small self-congratulatory smile on your face.

Oh. One other thing.

If one day, you see a bus number "hong-zhong" aka a red middle, "bai-ban" aka white coffin, or "fa-cai" aka wealth, you need to seek help. Fast.

Sometimes it’s good to hush up for a while and let autumn stick in a few words.

"Dragon, turn.
Dragon, climb.
Dragonrider, watch for sign.
Firestone chew.
Dragon, flame.
Char the Thread, make it tame."
- “Dragonsblood” by Todd McCaffrey

I'm due for a NS reservist call-up next week.

The good news:
My boss managed to defer me.

The bad news:
I won't be able to escape the next call-up. It'll from October to November, and its in Australia. Exercise Wallaby.

The good news:
Going to Australia. If there's one thing i miss terribly of Australia, its the calm, peacefulness and tranquility.
When i was still studying in Australia, amongst the various houses that i've stayed in, there was a student hostel situated just behind the university.
Living there was somehow even more peaceful than other places. This was because as you walk up the well-made brick footpath to your unit, you're surrounded by greenery and only sporadic houses/flats. The road is on the other side, so you can't see any cars or transport. All you see and hear is nature and the quiet bustling of students going about their daily lives.
Sadly, we don't have that over here. There are roads everywhere and within sight. True, there is greenery, but its different somehow.

The bad news:
The next call-up will be for three weeks and i'm not sure if my boss/colleagues will be able to cope.

“When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, near a whisper. “In the Eridani Way, we are taught that harmony is everything. A good change is invisible, like the wind. It belongs – it seems like an obvious part of the ecosystem.”
“You remember the ancient tailor’s saying: Measure twice, cut once?” she continued.
Emily nodded.
“The Eridani would say measure a million times, then a million times more and see if you can’t possibly find a way to avoid the cut. ‘A world is not easily mended,’ they say.””
- “Dragonsblood” by Todd McCaffrey

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." - Jackie Mason

Its official.

I got the flu.

As declared by me. As declared by the good doctor. As declared by the two days MC granted to me.

Grumpy-Me: Must be Adrenaline pass to me one. Dunnoe how she did it, but must be she passed to me one. (-.-)

Shameless-Me: Someone must be thinking of me. Thats why i'm sneezing so much. :D

Insane-Me: I'm going to board the train at peak hour tomorrow and sneeze on everyone! That way, everybody will get the flu too and get MC! o.o

Workaholic-Me: Will try to recover in one day and get back to work. I have too much stuff to clear. >.<

Childish-Me: Yeah! Got MC! Can play computer games all day tomorrow! 0.o

Help. I'm going crazy. (-.-)

Parodies at Work Part 271,197,083

The week before last was pretty insane. For your easy-viewing pleasure, let me break it down for you:-

Monday
Had a meeting in the morning to discuss our presentation on Wednesday. I'm assisting my Executive Director and we were in a competition with other teams to do a project for JTC. It involves building 15 empty factories, which is currently very much in demand by lots of companies.

In the afternoon, my boss called me and our conversation went somewhat like this:

Boss: How are you doing with your projects arh? Think you can handle one more?

Me: *mutters* Erm... Yeah, i think so.

Boss: I have a project with SPH. But the meeting time keeps clashing with my other meeting times. ISO says that i need a back-up in cases like this. So i need you to cover for me, just in case. You tomorrow morning free?

Me: *searches through my planner* Yeah, i'm free.

Boss: Ok. The meetings are usually on Tuesday mornings. So tomorrow you follow me to the meeting for the SPH project.


Tuesday
Before the meeting, the phone rang at the reception counter. Since our girls were busy and no one was around to take the call, i answered it:

Other person on the line: Hi, i'm calling from the Singapore Autism School. I'm preparing the Letter of Appointment for your company. Would you like to collect it personally? Or you want us to post it to you?

Me: *stumped momentarily* Erm... I'll check with my Boss and let you know. Can i have your name and contact number please?

Right after, our reception girl appeared and i told her about the phone call. She nods and said that she'll ask Boss. Right on cue, Boss emerges from his office and our reception girl informs him immediately:

Reception Girl: Boss. The Singapore Autism School called and asked if they should post the Letter of Appointment or we go collect it personally.

Boss: *Frowning at the offending piece of paper with the name and contact of the person* We have a project with them meh?

Reception Girl: Yes. A long time ago. We applied for it via the internet.

Boss: *still staring at the offending piece of paper, knowing that we have too many projects to handle* Wah liao...

At 10.30am, i followed Boss to the meeting for our SPH project. As it was my first meeting and i had no prior knowledge of what was going on, i tried as best as i could to understand the on-goings. The meeting only finished at 1.00pm, with Boss and I walking around the site.
At 2.30pm, i had another meeting for a condominium project. Since i had a late lunch, i arrived late naturally.
At 4.00pm, i headed off for another meeting at MOE. Only arrived home at about 8pm.


Wednesday
Went for the presentation to JTC and EDB in the morning. Sat right through the entire project without uttering a word. The 'main actors' were the Architect and the Developer/Contractor. As M&E Engineers, we were probably the least important of the consultants team.

When people see a building, they observe how it looks *cue the Architect*. The building has to be safe and not collapse *cue the Structural Engineer*. The project must be on budget *cue the Quantity Surveyor*. As long as the air-conditioning works fine, the electrical switchboard doesn't trip, people don't really care about us M&E Engineers.

After the presentation, as i stepped wearily into the office, my reception girl tells me, "Eh. The Singapore Autism School will be under you hor. Boss say one"


Thursday
My Executive Director told me that the Architect for the JTC project has just called him. Through various contacts, she has heard that we have gotten the project aka won the competition. In other words, he will guide me along but i will be doing most of the work.

So.

In a nutshell, in a space of one week, i am saddled with three new projects: SPH, JTC's 15 new factories and the Singapore Autism School. How brilliant is that. (-.-)

-----

Last week, one of our engineers (the Indonesian one >.<) had to fly back to his homeland because his grandmother had died. He will only be back next week.

Daniel's leg has been giving him grief lately. Each time he walks, pain lances through his right leg. He has even seen a chinese physician, but to no avail. He's gonna see a proper doctor tomorrow afternoon.

So if he takes MC, which is highly likely, that means that I'm the only engineer left to handle any problems that may arise from my colleagues' projects.

And i'm starting to feel the symptoms of flu coming onto me: Blocked Nose, Slight Cough, Scratchy Throat, Head Feels Like Its Been Stuffed With Wool. You know the rest.

This is going to the longest week ever. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Four

I glanced around the road as i exited my house. Time to torture my body with my weekly exercise. I started off a slow jog as i made my way towards the new underpass to East Coast.

I had just gotten up and went downstairs for breakfast. I was told that there was a package left at our doorstep. Frowning to myself, wondering who could have sent it, i went to have a look. A sneaking suspicion had entered a tiny corner in my mind.

As i jogged, i started my customary breathing pace. I tried to recall the song i used last weekend, and pace my breathing with it. But no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't recall the tune. Shaking my head to get rid of any distractions, i tried to recall some music. I finally found one and paced my breathing with it.

When i saw the handwriting, i immediately thought: Oh shit. Don't tell me its her. And it was her. I opened the package and inside was a box and an envelop. The letter inside was written in her handwriting and signed with what looked like her new signature. Her new signature looked somewhat like mine, with a big inverted-C-curve as a "J". The box contained her birthday present to me: a pair of gorilla cuff-links.

It was a relatively cloudy day. Perhaps that was the reason why there were so little people about when i emerged from the other side of the underpass. Or perhaps the school holidays has ended. Whatever it was, i jogged in relative solitude with a few passing cyclists and roller-bladers. Not that i'm complaining. Jogging by nature is usually a lonely exercise, and i had already gotten used to it.

I had stored all our memories together into a room. I had locked that room and threw away the key. In fact, i had almost forgotten about that room. The birthday present had exploded the door to that room. With the room wide open like a burst dam, the memories rushed out in a torrential flood.

As i jogged past my first mental marker, i put my arms behind my back. This pushes my body forward and increases my pace. As i jogged up the small slope, i started to breathe heavily and in faster breaths. The number of people has increased as i entered a more popular area. Needless to say, there are girls around. I keep my eyes straight, try not to look around and focus on the repetitive tune playing in mind to pace my breathing. I'm here to jog, not to pick up girls.

What should i do? How should i react? What does this mean? Conflicts of emotions raged within me. The whirlwind of feelings swept within my mind. Without my daily dose of caffeine and when i just woke up, it was quite a shock to the system. I couldn't think. I didn't know what to think. I was confused. Seriously and utterly confused.

As i push past my second mental marker, i lengthen my strides. Now i'm entering really crowded areas. There is a bicycle/roller-blade rental shop where i make my U-turn to jog home. Hordes of people exit from the shop and head for their respective destinations. As i ran comfortably past the pedestrians, i pushed myself as much as i could. No point in exercising when i don't push my body to the limit.

Back in my room, i called and text-ed Caffeine Addict. I needed her advice. I needed someone to talk to. She replied almost instantly. We talked for a bit. I'm a complete novice when it comes to two matters: affairs of the heart, and understanding girls. When i told her that i was about to go jogging, she said, "Thats good. Exercising releases happy drugs. Try and do things. Happy things."

As i emerge back from the underpass, i jog slowly to the fitness corner some distance away. My legs were tired, but the rest of my body were still fine. As i tried to get my breath back, i paced around the fitness corner. Kids ran around in the nearby playground, playing the age-old game of "catching". Bracing myself and giving myself some short breaks, i completed my routine of sit-ups and pull-ups. With those done, i walked slowly home. Just another normal Sunday.

The whirl in my emotions had subsided. I grew calmer and started looking up. Thank you, Caffeine Addict. My life is starting to get back on track. Slowly, but surely. And to her: I really DO appreciate you remembering my birthday and your birthday present of gorilla cuff-links. For now, i just need a little time for my emotions to settle down. Thank you once again.

"We said we were gonna play the game, like we had nothing to lose." - Danny Ocean from "Ocean's Eleven"

Sitting down, i thought to myself, "This is it. Lets take the plunge. Its all or nothing."

As the events fall into place like jigsaw pieces fitting each other perfectly, my stomach started to clenched in a tight knot.

My shoulders tensed up. My entire body went rigid and my palms grew sweaty. I kept thinking, "Please don't fail. Please don't fail. Please don't fail. Come on. Come on. Come on."


And then, it finally arrived.

Was i mis-seeing, indulging in a wish fulfillment? I found myself unable to speak, unable to rise to the occasion in any fashion. I mutely showed what i had.

My friends were stunned into silence. All of them stared in shock, their eyes couldn't quite believe what had happened. Only one recovered in time to whisper...

... ...

...

"Five-tai"

...

As exhilaration coursed through my body, the tension is released. All of a sudden, i felt weak and drained of energy. But how i felt was of no consequence and no importance. The next round has begun...

-----

Despite this happening three times, winning money is still always a good feeling.

Yes. Yes. I know. I'm rubbing it in. But hey, all of us are entitled to a little bit of self-congratulatory and vanity, are we not? :D

Words of Wisdom from Very Wise Taxi Drivers

While i was taking a taxi back to the office on Friday, i struck up a comfortable conversation with the driver. He proudly stated his heritage:

1. He's a orphan. His father died, and his mother left him.
2. He has next to no education at all.
3. As a result of that, he has "seen the world".
4. But because he has believed in Buddhism, he has taken a vow and turned over a new leaf
5. However, that doesn't stop him from having a girlfriend despite having a wife and kids.
6. The said girlfriend is also married with kids.
7. For the three years that they were together, she has never bought him a present during his birthday.
8. He recently bought a $490 gold necklace for his girlfriend as a present, but she pawned it and left the receipt with him.
9. This incident was the last straw that broke the camel's back. He admitted to not being very familiar with such affairs, but his girlfriend has "taught" him until he's familiar.
10. He plans to abandon his girlfriend now.

With all these "sight-seeing of the world", he has a few Pearls of Wisdom to share:

• A girlfriend is like a handphone. If you don't pay the service charge, the service will be terminated.
  
• On the other hand, a wife is like a television. You only need to pay once and can use for free after that.
• A girlfriend is like a handphone. You take it where-ever you go.
• A wife is like a television. You leave it at home.

Don't you just love taxi drivers? They have a simple uncomplicated view of life. :)

Ok, this is slightly embarrassing now... Since it happened twice... (-.-)

I...

*Bashes head against the table*

Must...

*Bashes head against the table again*

Remember...

*Bashes head against the table again*

To...

*No wait, table's broken, bashes head against the wall*

Zip...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

My...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Pants...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Before...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Going...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

Out...

*Bashes head against the wall again*

*dazedly looks around, fumbling for something to hang on to* Why do i have two doors in my room? And why is the room spinning?

*collapse*

The Loss of Innocence, Naviety & The Child In Us.

As i trundle through the train station, i started to ponder how we have changed when we enter the working life. Not exactly the ideal thoughts you need for a good start to a Friday morning.

Flowerger's rant that people didn't help her when she fell, wasn't new. When a little girl drowned, no one tried to rescue her earlier despite two lifeguards on duty. Overall, it just seems that people turn into cold, heartless and ruthless bastards when they enter the working world. The helpful and happy children we once were, seemed to have vanished like the morning mist dissipated by the burning sun.

Isn't it sad, i thought as i entered the train, that we lose all our morality and happiness when we start working? As i glanced around for a place to stand, blank faces greeted me. Each occupied in their own thoughts and miserable lives. As the train rumbled through the stations, i thought about how we were as children.

When we were young, we were invincible. We were rebellious in our own right because we only thought for ourselves. We got hurt fast and healed fast, both mentally and physically. We didn't need to care about how others were doing. We didn't need to care about how food got onto the table. We didn't need to care about our pay and whether the boss knew how hard we worked.

All that mattered in our minds were friendships, how to attract the opposite sex, when the next meal was and when the next gathering was. Life was much simpler then. We just did as we were told, or did as we please. There wasn't any consequences for us to heed, nor any life's direction we needed to think about. We lived to the fullest, each day at a time in true spontaneity.

Those were the good times, i thought wryly as i shrugged through the crowd and stepped off at my train station. Now wounds take longer to heal, both mentally and physically. Now we have to worry about how others are doing. Now we need to care about how food got onto the table. Now we have to worry about our pay and whether the boss knew about hard we worked. Now we have to think for ourselves and push the work to others because we aren't paid to do their job.

Consequences are something we have to think of every single time we make a decision, sign something or do something. We push for confirmation 'in black and white' via email, writing or fax because others will bear the consequences. We don't dare to commit both verbally and in writing because of consequences. Every thing we do these days, we think over it again and again, pondering if we should do so and the consequences that come with it.

Should i help that girl that fell down? If so, will i get scolded because i implied that she's weak?

Should i help that guy who is drowning? Thats the lifeguard's job, not mine so why should i do someone else's work? Let them bear the consequences. Besides he might be having a cramp and he could recover by the time i swim over.

When was the last time we did something because we wanted to, and not because of the consequences? I thought sadly as i stared at our company's dark varnished door, rummaging into my pocket for the keys. As i signed in, and made my way to my cubicle, saying my 'good mornings', i realised that ultimately the one single fact remains.

We have changed.

"Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace." - Amelia Earhart

"His voice was very soft in the dim room.

"There is nothing dishonorable about abandoning pain. Sometimes peace is most quickly found when a man simply stops avoiding it."

He shifted slightly in the dark.

"And you never again lay awake all night, staring at the darkness and thinking about them.""

- "Fool's Errand" by Robin Hobb

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity" - Maximus in "Gladiator"

When i read Mela's post extolling on how screwed up the life of a lawyer can be, i realised that lawyers don't have it all to themselves. We engineers are pretty screwed up too.

We aren't exactly normal people. When we confess our profession, people usually run or commit suicide rather than talk to us. If somehow we manage to sneak our way into a conversation because we are so desperate for human company, woe betide anyone who introduces a topic even remotely related to engineering.

For example. An innocent comment on cars will start us explaining on how the engine works and whats the difference between a turbocharger and a supercharger/compressor.

A simple remark on a particular condominium on sale will start us asking how many units does it have and if a substation is provided and if a water tank is needed.

Even a careless discussion on sex will start us calculating on how much friction a body generates when doing the horizontal tango, and given the diameter, how much volume a woman's bosom would approximate.

When normal men look at attractive women, they mentally undress them. When we engineers see a building or machinery, we mentally undress the building/machinery to its details/components to see if it has been done right.

And that is also why there is a profession called Architects. If the shape of the building was left to us engineers, you will end up with a very ugly block of concrete and steel structure hardly worthy of note. Architects slap our fidgety hands out of the design area, issue a stern warning to us, leaving us sulking and pouting, and make the building look like its floating on air, blend in with the landscape or make it so outstanding that every passerby will stop and gawk thereby increasing vehicular accident rates.

And when we check our calculations, we always use a worst-case scenario. We always use big numbers and round-up our figures. That way, we are prepared for the worst. Oh and to be further protected, we multiply a safety factor of 10 to the final number as well. Cautious? That would be a gross understatement. And thats another reason why, in my opinion, true engineers are not good investors. We just don't take risks. :p

We engineers are losers and homebodies. You don't see us at gatherings because no one wants to invite an antisocial creature and ruin the party. You don't see engineers at clubs and pubs because we don't want to cause a mass hysteria or deaths by turning up.

Engineers are not 'hip'. Engineers are not 'in'. Engineers are not 'cool'. Engineers are not 'wicked', or whatever new words you use these days.

Yes. I am well aware. I'm an engineer, albeit a eight-month old one. So what? Doesn't mean i can't bad-mouth my own profession. Nobody has complete monopoly on idiocy, you know.

"The hand that moves unseen, cloaked by the velvet glove of diplomacy." - "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb

I can't seem to make up my mind on something. Its been bugging me these days. Maybe you guys can help me out on this one.

Which is more ludicrous?

1. In America, there is a Professional Rock Paper Scissors Association. And there are even people who are actual professional rock paper scissors players. They even have tactics like 'The Toolbox', which is playing scissors all the way. Ain't that nice? The game we all played as kids is now turning into a Professional Losers-Who-Give-Humanity-A-Bad-Name Association. Great. Another childhood game down the drain.
2. Paris Hilton gets a 50% discount on her jail sentence for violating probation, and even gets special treatment and a 'special' room during her jail term. Has anyone told her that the jail bit is not part of her reality-tv show? Or has someone pass the legislation that big-names are above the law, while i wasn't looking?
3. The F1 that is going to be held in Singapore, has a profit cap. But before you burst into spontaneous cheer and applause, the portion that is above the profit cap, will be going to the gah-men. Since when do gah-men-s meddle in the affairs of the private sector? And why do they deserve this portion? The whole event is going to be run by private companies, as far as i can tell.
4. Some people seem to think that homosexuality is a genetic thing, and others seem to think that if that is the price for creativity and spontaneity, then they are willing to let it go. In my opinion, the first set of people are treating homosexuality as some kind of hereditary disease or deformity, and that the second set of people are treating it like some kind of passing fad. WHAT RUBBISH!!! Homosexuality is a free-will choice. To say that it is a genetic thing, is the same as saying that people liking the color 'blue' are genetic as well. *sarcasm* So if i dun like the color 'blue', then i shall set a law criminalizing people who like the color 'blue'. What the fark?!
5. In the eight months that i have working, i have stepped on dog poo once and have worms dropping on me twice. Yes. I know. I'm so lucky i should go buy Toto. Sighz.

I know, i know. Its a difficult choice, isn't it? I'm more inclined to go for Option Five, if i'm honest. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Three

Gentlemen. After three weeks of stalemate, the enemy has struck.

I am ashamed to report that we have grown conceited and complacent. We thought that we have won the war. We thought that the enemy has fled. We thought that victory was ours. But we were wrong.

We had conquered and settled into the Coast-of-Jogging. Sit-up Town was ours and victory at the City-of-Pullups didn't seem far off. But after three weeks, the enemy struck back with unexpected ferocity and speed.

Flabby-Thighs burst through our front lines and we were hard-pressed from losing the Coast-of-Jogging. Spare-Tire-Tummy and Weaks-Arms have used the much dreaded Lethargy-Artillery to rain heavy shells on us. In addition, their Excuses-Shock-Troops and Lazy-Armored-Formation has laid seige on us. Our troops are hard-pressed to keep them away from Situp-Town and the City-of-Pullups.

As of now, the situation seems bleak. The battle hangs in the balance and i assure you that we are doing our best to regain our ground.

We cannot lose to the enemy.

We will be victorious.

"A man's silence is wonderful to listen to." - Thomas Hardy

Sat in front of the computer monitor.

Fingers poised above the glowing keyboard.

Thinking deeply and searching for inspiration.

Nothing came.

Sigh.

Not today.

Boring Bits of Stuffy Science

Allow me a momentary indulgence. I would like to explore/share something which has endlessly fascinated me. That something is called 'time'.

In school, we learn about length and breadth, like in a square or a rectangle. Length and breadth are known as the two dimensions, or 2-D for short.

Most of us might know the third dimension: height. So using the same analogy of a square, a cube is a three-dimensional square. It has length, breadth and height. We live in a three-dimensional world because we see length, breadth and height everyday.

Now, what most of us might not know, is there exists a fourth dimension: Time.

This fourth dimension is rather fascinating. We live from moment to moment, second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour. But if we manage to see our lives as a continuous film strip, from birth to death, then we will be seeing the fourth dimension, time.

Which bring me to my main point: time travel. We have endless books and films on this subject. "Back To The Future" is the earliest film i can remember that touched on time travel. H G Wells wrote a book called "The Time Machine" and a movie was made from it. Most of these said books and films seem to believe that as you go faster, you will somehow travel through time.

But all this flim-flam and science fiction ignored a simple fact: it can't be done.

Why?

Two important reasons: relativity and time paradox.

The first reason, relativity, was invented by the famous Albert Einstein. The same person who invented the atomic bomb, only to regret it when he saw the massive destruction it caused. The same person who came up with theories of Light.

According to his theory, as you go faster, the heavier you become. For example, if you travel at infinite speed to travel through time, your mass will become infinitely heavier. And since you become heavier, you become slower. And since you become slower, you can't travel at infinite speed to travel through time.

The second reason is time paradox. This is best illustrated with an example. H G Wells elaborated this clearly in his book/movie. In "The Time Machine", the inventor's wife was killed in a robbery. Consumed with grief and determined to rectify it, he built a time machine to go back into the past to prevent her death. But he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried.

Why?

Because if he did save his wife, then he will have no reason to build the time machine, and hence will not go back to save his wife. A time paradox.

Right. Now that i've gotten that out of my system, i can move on with my life. :)

"When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane." - Hermann Hesse

You know how most people get their fixes, to relieve their stress even if only for a moment? To make their day easier, to make their burden lighter?

There are people who have their 'speed' fix. Most people smoke or take caffeine. Some take marijuana. Some take heroin. Some take drugs.

Well, i have a confession to make.

I have a fix.

Without it, my day gets a lot harder.

Without it, i have withdrawal symptoms. I shiver and have 'running nose'. I will feel listless and have no energy for work. Without it, i just want to lie on the floor, hug my knees to my chest and sleep.

Yes, i have an addiction.

My addiction is...

... ...

Sweets.

And they can't be just ordinary sweets. My addiction is to mint-flavor sweets. Clorets, to be specific.

*snorts up the nose* Aaahhh... Grade A.

Yes, i know. I should be ashamed of myself. I am a healthy man with a bright future and to have such an addiction, i am a disgrace.

But i can't help myself. Believe me, i want to quit. You must believe me. You must.

:D

-----

Yes. I know. I am truly going insane. Blame it on my work. >.<

"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost

The thing about being single is that you can throw all your time and energy into work, and forget everything else. Of course, this means you become a reclusive hermit and ignore the world around you.

Case in point:





When i went out last night, i thought to myself:





Damn. When was the last time i went out?





There are girls everywhere!

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

Found this here. I like the Aussie one. :D

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SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them all and retire on the income.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity, and arrest the reporter who leaked the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the *!!%$@@##** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

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Happy April's Fool, everyone. :)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Two

Gentlemen. We have good and bad news to report on the war front.

Good news first. The Battle-for-Jogging is almost won. We have pushed the enemy, Flabby-Thighs, much further than we have expected. The enemy is in chaos and are fleeing as we speak. We expect complete victory in the Coast-of-Jogging within the next few weeks.

Now for the bad news. While we were fighting on the Coast-of-Jogging and pushing the enemy back, we engaged two other enemies in Situp-Town and the City-of-Pullups. The enemies were identified as Spare-Tire-Tummy and Weak-Arms respectively.

Because we were ambushed by these two enemies, casualties are high. We have suffered greatly from these two battles. We have since recovered and are fighting for these two places. In Situp-Town, the battle has entered into a stalemate. Neither side is progressing. But with additional supplies and reinforcements coming in, we expect to defeat Spare-Tire-Tummy in a month or so.

The real trouble, is in the City-of-Pullups. The enemy, Weak-Arms, have taken control of the city and are heavily fortified. Our troops are engaging them in Pullup-urban warfare, but the results are poor. We require a lot of support in this area and i ask you, gentlemen, to give us your backing. We need the Discipline-Artillery to shell them out of their buildings, and the Persistent-Rangers and Keep-Trying-Paratroopers to engage them. If such support is given, we are confident that we will eventually prevail and conquer the City-of-Pullups.

In summary, we are confident in our victory in the Coast-of-Jogging and Situp-Town. If you gentlemen are able to give us your backing in the City-of-Pullups, we are likewise confident of an eventual victory.

This concludes our report on the War-On-Flab. Thank you.

The meeting is adjourned.

Parodies at Work

How does one show the multi-cultural aspect of our country? How does one proudly present the racial harmony (read: racial tolerance >.<) that exist in our small island?

By having a courier company (which is owned and mostly run by Indians) celebrate Chinese New Year, by hiring a Lion Dance troop mostly consisting of Malays. 0.o

Or you could simply say: It is a warped world we live in. -.-

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It has been insane at work for the past two weeks or so. Daniel took leave last Thursday & Friday and this Monday as well. And when he came back on Tuesday, he was scheduled for his ISO course, as mentioned previously in here, on Thursday and Friday.

Which also meant that i had to cover his projects while he was away. -.-

Naturally, i had to settle my own projects as well. Talking about super-juggling. I suppose its like juggling balls with a colleague, passing them to-and-fro. There are enough balls to keep your hands busy and you think to yourself: I can manage this, as long as my colleague can keep up and not disappear.

Which suddenly, he does.

And someone had mysteriously greased all the balls which you are now stumbling over to juggle.

It is a strange analogy, but one that i can think of right now that describes how i felt then.

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The way we number our projects goes like this:

0329-1

First pair of numbers (ie. '03' in this example) represent the year in which the project was awarded to us (in this example, the year 2003).

The second pair of numbers (ie. '29' in this example) represents the running order in which the project is in (in this example, the twenty-ninth one).

If the client wishes to hire us again to do an A&A (Additions & Alterations) for a former project we have done before, then we put a '-1' behind. So in this example, this project is an A&A to the twenty-ninth project awarded to us in 2003.

Clear as mud? :D

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So i assume you understand what i mean, when i say i have been handed my first official 2007 project, 0713: The Proposed Development of ISH (Indoor Sports Hall) for six schools.

When I say 'official', i mean that it has a '07' in front. I have had one other project already in 2007, but it doesn't start with '07'.

So, which six schools am i doing it for?
1. Catholic High
2. CHIJ (Toa Payoh)
3. Fairfield Methodist
4. Zhonghua
5. Ai Tong
6. Raffles Girls Primary

One Indoor Sports Hall is okay. One might even call it easy. But for six?

And they are to be built on existing campuses.

And because its 95% sponsored by MOE, the ministry will be following it closely.

And the time frame is tight. Very tight. The first presentation is to be in the middle of April.

One month.

One month to visit all six sites, consider all alternatives, choose the best possible site, design it so that it matches the theme of the existing buildings, and then present it with fingers-crossed, hoping that it won't get shot down by the school or MOE. :p

Oh. And did i mention that we also have to try and incorporate each individual school's request? Knowing them, they will probably try and ride on this project, and ask for lots of things. Things which aren't even related to sports. Like an additional storey for CCA rooms. Or an additional building for classrooms. Or maybe even a whole damn-new campus. -.-

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With such a tight time frame, its little wonder why my boss and i are on the edge. I almost hate to think how the architect and C&S engineer feel.

We had visited three schools on Friday 11am, 2.30pm and 4pm. It sure was hectic day. My boss even forgo another meeting to go for the site visits. And we have another three to visit: 9am on Monday, 9am on Tuesday and 10am on Wednesday.
All nice, bright and early on three consecutive days.

Sighz...

Its gonna be a long week. -.-

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Right. Whinging time.

We have a few new additional draftsmen / designers, one of which is driving everyone nuts. She prints all the time. And i dun mean printing the normal A4 size paper. She prints the big A1 size which we use to print our services layout. I shudder to think of the money being wasted on paper and ink.

And she is completely fresh in Autocad. It took her one month to learn how to draw a straight line. And an additional week or so to learn how to copy and paste a file. Not 'copy and paste' in Autocad, but a simple 'copy and paste' of a computer file. -.-

And she doesn't seem to comprehend that being told once or twice is enough. We all have explain to her numerous times, but she still asks the same questions over and over and over again.

And her failure to understand questions doesn't stop there. She also fails to understand our directions to correct her mistakes. We write the corrections on the printed-often, error-filled A1 size paper, but she still doesn't do all the corrections. She doesn't check on the computer if she has done all the corrections, and just prints when she thinks she has completed the job.

And she brings all the paper home. Why? I have absolutely no clue.

As a result, my temper has soured and gone downhill. I simply do not have the patience to keep explaining to her the mistakes, keep directing her to do the same corrections, keep finding out that she has screwed something up.

I'm not faulting her attitude, for she constantly asks if she can help. But her behavior really irks not just me, but all of us.

Argh.