I’m writing you a message in code. How do you spell “nincompoop”?

So i'm trying to orgranise a barbecue for my colleagues this coming Saturday. While trying to provide directions to my place, the following emails were exchanged.

---
Original email by me:
Subj: BBQ - 6th November - Address and Directions

Hi all,

Summary
Event: BBQ
Total pax: 21
Payment per person: TBC
Driving Directions:

• Coming from the West, take the ECP and exit at BS. Turn right at the first traffic light junction and keep heading straight. You will pass a temple on the left and a mini bus terminal on the right at a traffic light junction. After the said junction, JHS will be on the left. My unit is XXX.
• Coming from the East, take the UCRE and turn left at the BR junction. Travel along BR, until you pass by a Cold Storage on the left, and a hawker centre on the right. The road will curve to the right. JHS will be on the right.
• Coming from the North, take the CTE and then PIE. Exit at BNR, and turn right at the first traffic light junction. Go straight all the way until you reach a T-Junction. Turn left and you will soon see a mini bus terminal on the right at a traffic light junction. After the said junction, JHS will be on the left.
• Coming from the South i.e. Sentosa, take your helicopter and fly to BC. Land there and then get your chauffeur to drive you to JHS. xD

Public Transport Directions:

• For Buses, take 10, 13 or 14. Coming from the West, once you pass BC on the right, alight at the coming bus stop. Facing the road, walk right until you reach JHS. Coming from the East, once you pass the Cold Storage on the left and the hawker centre on the right, alight at the coming bus stop. Facing the road, walk left and cross the road. You will see JHS.
• For MRT, take to TM MRT. Once you reach, give me a call and i'll pick you up from there.
• For Taxis, please refer to the Driving Directions above.

-----
WK's Reply:
Chinatown is South? Any lobang for helicopter?

-----
My Reply:
Hi all,

As for parking spaces, there isn't any multi-storey carpack nearby. You guys can park along the small roads. As long as you don't obstruct the driveways of other houses, its ok.

As for helicopter lobang, you can call 1800-CARELESS-AIRWAYS. Please contact BC for any helicopter parking spaces.

-----
WK's Reply:
Got parachute? Pilot included? How to go home?

-----
My Reply:
Pilot is considered as add-on services, so there will be extra charges. Parachute not included. But since you live in the South, i presume you can afford it. Please contact your chauffeur when you want to go home.

Boy, when it’s this hot, I don’t want to do anything at all. Fortunately, that was our plan from the start.

"The Catalyst"

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
[x3]

No
And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light

God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun

Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

[x2]
God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns
For the sins of our hands
The sins of our tongues
The sins of our fathers
The sins of our young
No

And when I close my eyes tonight
To symphonies of blinding light

God save us everyone
Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns

Ooh

Like memories in cold decay
Transmissions echoing away
Far from the world of you and I
Where oceans bleed into the sky

Lift me up
Let me go
[x16]

[x2]
God bless us everyone
We're a broken people living under loaded gun
And it can't be outfought
It can't be outdone
It can't be outmatched
It can't be outrun
No

All this was funny until she did the same thing to me.

Because she doesn't believe me, and as per her request, here is a excerpt from the Rulebook of Boyfriends:

Rule #523
The Boyfriend reserves the right to poke, tickle or tease the Girlfriend. This is the divine right of the Boyfriend and serves to keep the Girlfriend on her toes.
Example:
Her: Why you tickle me?!
Him; Because i'm your boyfriend.

Rule #524
The Boyfriend reserves the right to laugh at the Girlfriend. This is to show how comfortable the Boyfriend is, in the relationship.
Example:
Her: You're laughing at me!
Him; Yarh.

Rule #525
The Boyfriend shall agree with the Girlfriend, subject to the topic of discussion. This is to show the support and love of the Boyfriend.
Example:
Her: My bedroom is in a mess.
Him: I agree.

Rule #526
The Boyfriend shall always pay compliments to the Girlfriend. This is to show how much the Boyfriend loves the Girlfriend.
Example:
Her: I look fat in this dress.
Him: Your eyesight is damn good.

Rule #527
Should the Boyfriend find her behavior unbecoming, he shall advise the Girlfriend on what to do. This to ensure that a resemblance of manners exist, even at home.
Example:
After eating dinner...
Her: *burp*
Him: What are you suppose to say?
Her: Excuse me.
Him: Good girl.

All rules and regulations are made with the consultation and agreement of the Boy-Friends Federation, Singapore (BFFs). The BFFs reserves the right to change, alter, add or void the rules and regulations stipulated in this book. In addition, the BFFs reserves the right to have the final say in any matter. Any objections, arguments or criticism from the opposite gender shall not be entertained, discussed, or approved.

Let’s just sit here a moment… … and savour the impending terror.

Out of sheer frustration, i stomped on the accelerator far more than i usually do

As i watched the needle climb past 4,000 rpm, the Civic's i-VTEC engine roared into life, echoing my anger and fury.

A maniacal grin cracked on my face.

That sounds and feels SO good, i thought.

“I think we need to change the rules.” “Oh, you want to play the sissy way now, I bet.”

Death by Remedial Training

After completing 1.2km in 6min 10sec, he tried to run 400m in under 1min 40sec.
He succeeded, but died in the attempt.

Those shall be the words engraved on my tombstone. -__-

We don’t ATTEND parties. We just CRASH ‘em!

Their beat and rhythm is really quite a sight to behold, regardless of whether they are using knives or drum sticks.

To beat out the rhythm again and again for almost two hours? Just absolutely brilliant.

It’s BIOLOGICAL! Girls mature faster than boys! You just got a better grade because you’re a girl! It’s not fair.

Two real-life examples of the difference between man and woman:

Example One:
While in the car...

"That's a Lamborghini." I pointed out excitedly for her to see. The sleek low body, the menacing shape in gun-metal grey and the bark of the glorious engine.

"Its ugly." She sniffed.

"Why is it ugly?!" Was my horrified reply.

"It's ugly because it's so low!"

"It's low because of aerodynamics!" I argued.

"It's still ugly. And it's noisy!" She retorted.

"It's a Lamborghini, dear. All Lamborghini-s are loud and brash." I said wearily.

Example Two:
We went to Wing Tai Industrial Centre for a warehouse sale of Dorothy Perkins. The minute i finished parking the car...

"Retail Therapy!!!" She yelled and charged straight into the store.

Me? My ankle was hurting, so i hobbled as fast as i can, after her.

End result? She didn't buy a single thing.

And to treat her failed retail therapy, she bought and ate cheng teng.

Sigh... -__-

I have all these great genes, but they’re recessive. That’s the problem here.

Me: (...) I try to blog once a week.

Her: Why leh? Why must you blog once a week?

Me: Hhhmmm.... I blog once a week for two reasons. Firstly, i blog what was on my mind for the past week or so. Secondly, i blog to maintain the writing style. Once you don't write/blog for a long period, you lose the writing style.

Me: Even though i don't write anything, i will put up a YouTube video or something. I think its important that i maintain contact with the blog. I don't want to lose touch with it.

I was just about to use my stupendous powers to liberate some cookies being held hostage on the top shelf of the pantry!

Such a gentle song and a peaceful backdrop.

You could see how she immerses herself into her music, living and breathing each musical word and note.

With such a musician, the camera complements flawlessly and delivers the perfect combination of song and scenery.

A most excellent music video.

A man’s home is his castle. But it shouldn’t have to be a fortress.

It doesn't get any easier when you visit the Mandai Crematorium for the second time.

The final shutting of the door. The soul-rending wail of despair. The last good-byes. The heart-breaking moments. The moment when you realise that the person is gone forever.

The touch of death is cruel and heartless. When it touches your extended family, you are left cold and hollow inside.

When it finally touches my family, I really don't know how I will be able to cope.

二舅母, commend me to God when you see Him. May you rest in peace and enjoy Heaven's grace.

I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.

This video was done by a group of researchers called Shift Happens. It really does show us how much has changed and that we are truly living in exponential times.

Below is their latest video for 2009.

A house with a tiger is never a home.

As she slept peacefully beside me, i gaze upon her beautiful face. She looked so contented and happy.

That image of peace, tranquility, beauty and bliss.

It will forever be burned in my mind.

I love her.

Tuesdays don’t start much worse than this.

I have been thinking about something lately. Something quite extraordinary, and perhaps frightening, happened to me during my diving trip at Pulau Redang.

As divers, we each carry an air tank to breathe underwater. Obviously, there is a limit to how much air you can bring down and how long you can stay underwater. Some of these factors include your weights, your breathing technique and the dive depth.

For obvious safety reasons, we are usually told that at 50 psi, we must inform the Dive Master that we're running out of air. The Dive Master will then usually make plans for surfacing soon after.

However, during my first dive at Pulau Redang, i did not inform my Dive Master that i had reached 50psi.

In fact, i only informed him when i reached 0psi.

I remembered that i was thinking to myself when i reached 50psi: Its only a little bit further. I want to see more, dive more. I don't want to spoil the experience for others. I can still breathe, so its no big deal.

Even when i reached 0psi, i still didn't panic and thought to myself: Hey, i still can breathe. Its ok. I should be able to make it.

What i didn't know, was that i was slowly slipping towards eventual death. I was slowly losing consciousness, and my movements were slow and lethargic. I was in that particular mental state where you are just on the brink of sleeping: You are aware of your surroundings and yet, somehow not. Everything is hazy and you don't seem to have the energy to move quickly.

The Dive Master was shocked when i indicated i had 0psi left and he indicated immediately for us to surface. He also gave me additional air from his tank.

Once i had breathed from his air tank, everything came back with a sharp focus. My air-starved brain started working immediately, and i surfaced with the rest with no problems. Once on the surface, i got a scolding from my friends and the Dive Master.

Now that i'm here and have done some thinking of my own, i shudder to think of what might happened. I might have lost consciousness without anyone knowing the true reason. I might have decided to take a short nap and never wake up. I might have died without even knowing.

All in all, it was definitely my own fault that i didn't inform the Dive Master. I should not have taken the risk and should have indicated to him early on.

I definitely would not want to try that again: the fatality of Death's alluring call and experience of slipping to Death's Doorway.

My parents’ idea of a wild night is to mix a scoop of real coffee in with the decaf.

No gentleman should ever hit a woman. Domestic violence is just a vicious cycle repeating itself over and over again.

Dignity and Respect. Two values which has been lost in today's society.

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

---

Happy National Day, everyone.

I think night time is dark so you can imagine our fears with less distraction.

"Airplanes"
(feat. Hayley Williams of Paramore)

[Chorus: Hayley Williams (B.o.B)]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now

[Verse 1: B.o.B]
Ya, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
'Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you starin' at that phone in your lap
And you hopin' but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance?
So we're playin' airplane, sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

[Chorus: Hayley Williams (B.o.B)]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

[Verse 2: B.o.B]
Ya, ya, somebody take me back to the days
Befo' this was a job, befo' I got paid
Befo' it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Ya, back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But nowadays we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta' airplanes
Then maybe oh maybe I'll back to the days
Befo' the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listen to my mixtape
And back befo' I tried to cover up my slang
But this is fo' the hater, what's up Bobby Ray?
So can I get a wish
To end the politics
And get back to the music
That started this shit?
So here I stand and then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta' airplanes

[Chorus: Hayley Williams (B.o.B)]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

[Outro: B.o.B]
I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
Like, like, like shootin' stars
(Like shootin' stars)
I-I-I-I could really use a wish right now
(I could really use a wish right now)
A wish, a wish right now
(A wish right now)

This is one of those things you always figure will happen to someone else. Unfortunately, we’re ALL “someone else” to someone else.

“It was so instantly clear that I wondered how I could not have seen it.
Then I knew.
Each time I had studied the board, I wondered how it could have got into such a sorry condition. All I had seen were the senseless moves that had preceded mine. But those moves had no longer mattered, once I hold the black stone in my hand.”
- “Assassin’s Quest” by Robin Hobb

Why is it that everyone seeks accountability? Even when the event is plainly accidental and is an act of nature? Even when the fault lies not with others, but with themselves?

To me, accountability is just another excuse to pin the blame on someone else. Do you really think that people are interested to know what went wrong? Do you really think people are curious to find out why?

I think not.

The flooding in Singapore was an act of nature. The amount of rain was tremendous and we should count ourselves fortunate that most of our sewers were well-designed and are able to cope.

But no.

Everyone focuses on the troubled area. Everyone looks at the flooding and asks "Why?".

Our teachers educate, guide and inspire our young. They impart valuable knowledge and life skills to our children. And yet, when the children disrespects the teacher, the teacher is powerless to do anything because the children will complain to their parents. Who will in turn complain to the principal, the Ministry and even the Prime Minister if need be.

And yet, the parents blame the teachers when the child misbehaves.

I really do think our society's behavior, mannerisms and ethics are degrading.

What happened to Respect? What happened to Self-Responsibility? What happened to the Human Touch?

It appears that no one knows the meaning, nor practise these words anymore.

“‘A man sees the darkness coming and he fears only for himself,’ Harald remarked. ‘He never thinks of others.’
‘And if he does think of others, too often he says, ‘Let them fend for themselves’, Laurana added sadly.”
- “Dragons of the Highlord Skies” by Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman

At 7.00am, Mom’s not very philosophical.

We wanted to catch the sunrise at Changi Beach.

But we ended up catching mostly clouds and a few orange streaks across the dawning sky.

Sigh...

Better luck next time.

Don’t you hate it when your boogers freeze?

When you dive, you enter another world.

A watery world of silence. A world of vivid colors and shapes.

A world which teems with life. Endless wonders which you marvel at. Graceful fishes and marine life swim by, sketching a beautiful ballet in the circle of life.

And that is the reason why i dive: To see such graceful marine life in their natural habitat. It really is a sight to behold.

The worst part is that I don’t even have the fun of doing the stuff I’m getting blamed for.

"I don't want the public to see the world they live in while they're in the Park (Disneyland). I want to feel they're in another world."
- Walt Disney on Disneyland

And so, i turn another year older among much friends, laughter and silliness.

Most importantly, i spent it with her.

"It has that thing - the imagination, and the feeling of happy excitement - I knew when I was a kid."
- Walt Disney on Disneyland

Ahh… The perfect slushball! Hard enough to sting, yet sloppy enough to dribble down the collar and soak the undergarments.

Aside from the fact that the Dutch driver actually said, "Check my car, is my car ok?", i believe i would have rushed over to help the fainting grid girl as well.

In fact, i think most men would. xD

I wonder what happens if you throw up in zero gravity.

“‘Now I know why they call you “Holy Belgarath”,’ he said.

‘Don’t mix “Holy” and “money”, Talvar. You’ll get in trouble if you do.’”
- “Belgarath the Sorcerer” by David and Leigh Eddings

Precisely. Money and religion shouldn't ever mix.

Furthermore, when your affairs become so huge and involve so many people, you have to be prepared for more questions and scrutiny.

Good luck to you if you aren't prepared or didn't foresee it.

Whenever I need to do some serious thinking, I go for a walk in the woods. There are always a million distractions out here.

I don't know about you, but i think that building looks like it came straight out of the NOD base in Command & Conquer. O.O

I don't need parents. All I need is a recording that says, "Go play outside!"

"Haven't Met You Yet"

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to loose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it's half timin and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazin
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all’s fair in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it
We'll get it right and we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazin
And bein in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get

Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get yeah
I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid to give so much more than I get
I said love love love love love love love
I just haven't met you yet

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

Remember this?

Well, i got my revenge.

Her: My student brought his toy to class today.

Me: What toy is it?

Her: Its called Ben 10. It looks like a watch and you can wear it on your wrist. Apparently, the cartoon character wearing the "watch" can turn into different monsters.

Me: Ah ok. So something like you lah.

Her: *glares at me*

Me: You can turn into durian monster, sashimi monster...

---

You know you will definitely fail your IPPT when she treats your tummy like a separate living entity.

Back to RT, i suppose. Sigh... -__-

Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

Me: Who is more important: Me or the durian?

Her: You.

Me: ^^

Her: ... Because you can buy me durian.

Me: -__-

Her: ... And satay. And sashimi. And sushi. And Yami Yogurt. And...

Me: -_____-

The forensics marvel has reduced my logic to shambles.

Apparently, this commercial is banned in the States for reasons i don't understand.

She might be a little bit bigger than an average Victoria Secret's model, but i think she's hawt. As to any suggestive underlying message, i reckon there isn't much difference with a typical Victoria Secret's ad.

I think its more important that a woman is confident about herself and looks healthy.

I feel a big sneeze welling up, which is always a sure sign that I’m not carrying a handkerchief.

"T-Shirt"

Hey

[Verse 1]
Try'na decide Try'na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how ta

Gonna be late Gonna be late
But, all my girls don't have to wait 'cause
I dont know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet

[Chorus]
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

Hey

[Verse 2]
Gotta be strong gotta be strong but Im
Really hurtin now that you're gone
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and

Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it

[Chorus]
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin' you

Im'a step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
('cause I missed you, 'cause I missed you)
With nothing but your T-shirt on
(said I missed you ... baby)

[Repeated On Verse 2]
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment I'm stripped down, torn up about it

[Half Chorus]
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

[Chorus]
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool
Try'na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

[Song Ending]
nothing but your T-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your T-shirt on
ooh let me tell you no
nothing but your T-shirt on

The world is a complicated place. Whenever it seems that way, I’ll take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner.

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Thus all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
- “Heroes Die” by Matthew Woodring Stover

Change is inevitable. It will happen, one way or another, whether we like it or not.

But as we grow older, we start to dislike change. It is because the familiar things start to disappear: taking away our childhood, our memories and our past.

But no matter how much we dislike it, we must struggle against our instincts and learn to embrace change.

Only by changing, can we improve ourselves and our outlook in life.

Because if we don't change, we will still be living in caves wearing bear skins and communicate by grunting.

“The mind that will not admit it has something more to learn tomorrow is in danger of stagnating”
- “Dragonsinger: Harper of Pern” by Anne McCaffrey

I’m not a vegetarian. I’m a dessertarian.

I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I'm sure

You don’t think your dad will get mad about us digging up the driveway? Oh, you know Dad. He’ll get mad no matter WHERE we dig.

Ryan Bingham: You know why kids love athletes?

Bob: Because they screw lingerie models?

Ryan Bingham: No, that's why we love athletes. Kids love them because they follow their dreams.

---

I followed my dream, and have never looked back nor regretted it.

I hope one day my kids will follow their dreams.

Because that is what life is all about: chasing your dream.

I think most hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient’s friends.

Apparently, after the CA, there is a SA: Semestral Assessment. O.o

I have tried valiantly to appeal and dispute the need for another assessment, that the marks for CA is sufficient.

She is still considering whether to set the paper, so there is still some hope left.

Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time.

So far, it has been a very happy one month for the both of us. And of course, being a teacher that she is, she just has to grade me.

I didn't even know i was under scrutiny and examination as a boyfriend. O.o

But joy of joys, she has awarded me a grand total of 80. Yep. Eighty. Eight-Zero.

Thats a solid 'A'! That's the highest i ever got for my Continual Assessment (CA)! ^^

And of course, being the ever eager and diligent student, i asked where my mistakes were. The explanation is as follows:

As per some tests and examinations, i was awarded 100 marks. Each demerit and/or mistake i make will be deducted accordingly.

For making her finish her food = -5 marks

Therefore,

Current boyfriend score = 100 - 5 = 95 marks

For attempting to tickle her but poke her instead = -5 marks

Hence,

Current boyfriend score = 95 - 5 = 90 marks

For teasing her, drawing similarities between her and a baby
= -5 marks

So,

Current boyfriend score = 90 - 5 = 85 marks

Finally,

For being late = -5 marks

Thus,

Current boyfriend score = 85 - 5 = 80 marks

I was prepared to launch a passionate and reasonable defense of my actions, but she waved them aside. She did not and does not entertain appeals. Nor did she allow me to retake my paper. -_-

Apparently, the examiner has the final say and reserves the right to maintain the marks at her discretion and without obligations.

How fair is that?!

The turbo is pooped. That’s ok. Gravity just kicked in.

Presenting the newest Aston Martin:

The One-77

*cue the jaw drops* O.O

Edit: Annoying video disabled. -__-

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

Ever fancied an All Terrain Tracked Carrier (ATTC) of your own?

Ever get jealous of the army's Bronco?

The Russians have the answer. O.O

I wish my bathtub had an agitator.

So far, it has been a whirlwind of romance, love and bear hugs.

Somehow, we are really on fast-track program. But most importantly: we are happy.

Don't stop believing. Hold onto that feeling.

Your schedule calls for smaller time increments than this clock can measure.

My philosophy has always been, "When in doubt, go for it."

Five or ten years down the road, i don't want to look back and think to myself: Why didn't i try? Why didn't i ask?

Well, i asked.

And she agreed.

So far, things are looking good. I really do hope we make this work and last.

If you’re looking for fossilized remains, you should dig through your room.

So little time.

So much to do.

So much work.

So little brain cells.

Recently, i think my brain explodes on a daily basis.

Of course, it doesn't help when my senior leaves the company.

Argh.

Live and don’t learn, that us.

"Life After You"

Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

When I grow up, I want 2 b an inventor. First I’ll invent a time machine. Then I’ll come back 2 yesterday & take myself 2 tomolo & skip this dumb work

Since my complaints about being an engineer and the lack of true engineers, I have recently read that there is a movement to encourage students to take up engineering.

Our company has duly obliged to show them the "wonders" of engineering, and i was roped in (read: arrow >.<) to help show students our vehicle.

Unfortunately, while showing the students around, i didn't realise that my coveralls had a hole in it.

So in short, i "showed" everyone the color of my underwear that day. Which was gray. Which stood out against our company's dark blue coveralls.

Mission Failed. -__-

My sensors indicate trace amounts of chocolate in the pantry. Please load some in my scoop for analysis.

"Over You"

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Great. The snow cushioned the blow to my spine, so I can die of pneumonia.

When you automatically know what to do when you sprain your leg, it can only mean two things:

(a) You are in the medical field, which means you are either a doctor, a nurse or a physiotherapist.

OR

(b) You have sprained your leg so many times that you already know what to do.

And since i'm an engineer, it must be option b.

Sigh...

I’ve never liked crayons very much. They just don’t have any flavour at all.

"But I knew that anyone who cared to look would know that it was cheap. The whole thing was a commentary on who i was, what i was about, and what i was willing to accept in life.

That's what fashion does: It is designed to make a statement about a person.

It's sometimes argued that fashion is all about creation and construct. Not only are the clothes and shoes we wear, and the bags we carry, constructs of someone else's imagination, they are also the realisation of an idea, an inspiration brought to life by someone who has the know-how and skill to do so.

We in turn use these constructs to create an impression of ourselves, by assembling the bits and pieces together.

It's an amalgamation of various ideas, coming together into a whole that accurately (the key word is accurately) expresses on the outside what is within. That, in itself, is an act of creation and construction as well."
- "My motto: Fashionably practical" by Jill Alphonso in mypaper 12 January 2010

People pay more attention to you when they think you’re up to something.

Besides the fact that they "hijacked" my Facebook status, they also used it to hold illegal meetings to gossip about other people. -__-

But i also learnt that i have lots of friends who are looking out for me and are concerned about me. :)

---

Yesterday at 6:57pm
JC has reluctantly resigned himself to his fate where his friends try and matchmake him. Lets hope the girls won't commit suicide or run away after seeing my face. :p

Yesterday at 8:37pm · JX
whats wrong with your face?

Yesterday at 8:52pm · Mini-Terrorist One
You wldnt let me and you allowed others??!! HRMPH!

Yesterday at 9:07pm · Me
JX: My face is the big fugly thing sticking out of my neck. Did you not notice? xD
Mini-Terrorist One: Lol... Like i said, i'm resigned to my fate. You can introduce if you want, but don't blame if your colleagues avoid you after finding out that you're keeping company with a fugly male. xD

Yesterday at 9:52pm · GN
Eh, Jason, u r fine lah. Ur not going to date Ms Universe so u don't have to look like prince charming.

Yesterday at 10:32pm · SN
Confidence. Half the battle is won. Choose Jason.

Yesterday at 10:36pm · Me
GN: True, i'm not going to date Miss Universe. But whatever the case, first impression still counts doesn't it? :p
SN: Choose? Whats there to choose?! xD

Yesterday at 10:57pm · WY
All us guys need is a fat wallet. Just look at mine. o wait...

Yesterday at 11:12pm · JX
If you think you are ugly, look at Dennis. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Cindy got married for 10 years liaoz. AN is still not married. Dennis got married. YH, DW and KJ still single/not married.
First impression counts, so does every impression. Just do your best and relax. If someone only judge your based on impression, then she is not worth it anyway so why be so hard on yourself ;)

Yesterday at 11:13pm · JX
No offence to mentioned parties

Yesterday at 11:16pm · YX
yea, dennis has to be the benchmark man..wait, dennis is not on anybody's facebook, i hope

Yesterday at 11:17pm · JX
KY is his BEST friend!

Yesterday at 11:31pm · YX
jason, when all else fails, there is always mary and jane.

21 hours ago · SY
I agree, looks not impt and u also not considered ugly la. Be confident. Someone truly for u will come along. Why settle down if not for the best to come? cheers

21 hours ago · YX
wa, so philosophical..

13 hours ago · Me
Man. You guys are on a roll sia. O.o
My statements are all tongue-in-cheek, all in good humor. If i really believe that girls will commit suicide when they look at my face, then i should be consulting a psychiatrist / psychologist.
Wayne: My wallet not fat enough. Engineers pay very little. I think even the cleaners have a higher pay than us. xD

12 hours ago · SY
Well now. U know u have many friends who care for u

11 hours ago · JX
Violet still single

11 hours ago · Me
SY: Yeah, i do know that all of you have my interest at heart. I'm really happy that i have so many friends who are so concerned about me. :)
YX: Anyway, who is Mary and Jane?! O.o
JX: Seriously, no. Just no.

9 hours ago · RL
Juz make sure she can play mahjong

7 hours ago · GN
JX, r u talking abt NY'S violet? I think she's turning purple... maybe closer to black already. It's been 11 yrs already.

6 hours ago · KY
Before you all get the wrong impression, dennis is not even on my FB... what about best friend??? tsk tsk

10 minutes ago · SY
we shd have a secret code for dxxxxs...

That’s me (oof), the human slinky.

""But you had not. You had just... stopped. In some ways. Oh, you were older and wiser, i suppose. But you had not made any move on your own to reach out to life again. But for your wolf, i think it would have been even worse."

"As it was, you were living like a mouse in a wall, off the crumbs of affection that Starling tossed to you. As thick-skinned as she is, even she could see it. She gave you Hap and you took him in. But if she had not brought him to your doorstep and dumped him there, would you have sought out anyone to share your life?"

He leaned closer to me and said, "Even after you came back to Buckkeep and your old world, you held yourself apart from it. No matter what i did or offered. Myblack. you couldn't even connect to a horse."
- “Fool's Fate” by Robin Hobb

Well, it’s a new year. And I’d say the first 10 hours haven’t been up to snuff.

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): Yo. *strides in* How are things, man?

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): Pretty all right, actually. There hasn't been any major catastrophe, nor emotional distress.

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): Really? Why don't you give me a summary of what you've done? Seems like our Key Performance Index (KPI) has risen, so expectations are higher this time round.

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): *groan* Tell me about it. The same thing happened for my predecessor, 2008. He had so many things happening, that now it makes me look bad. *grumbles* He had a change of job, a short-term relationship and a brilliant trip to Taiwan with good friends. How on earth was i suppose to emulate that? *wails* I don't have a single relationship on my CV!

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): *pats back* There there. Things aren't so bad. I'm sure you have had some good things too.

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): *sniff* Well. Things certainly have improved for the job. He has felt slightly more at home and is doing something he thoroughly enjoys. There is so much to learn and the knowledge expansion is one of the reasons why he enjoys it.

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): *soothes* There. You see? That's a good thing, isn't it? Are there any more?

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): But... But... *wails* There wasn't a relationship! He did meet someone, but it didn't work out. *sobz* I was so hoping that it will work out, so i can add it to my CV! I mean, a relationship is a big thing on any CV, and i thought it will be my chance to show what i can do!

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): *taken aback* Erm... I'm sure it was for the best. Perhaps they are not meant to be together. They are still friends, right? That still counts for something, doesn't it?

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): *sniff* I guess so... *sniff*

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): *pats hand* Are there any more good things that happened?

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): Well. He did take up scuba diving and managed to get his Open Water and Advanced Open Water certification. *begins to cheer up* He really does like scuba diving and enjoyed the trips abroad.

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): That's good, that's good. Speaking of going abroad, were there any holidays?

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): Oh yes. He went to Hokkaido and had a pretty good time there. There were one or two places which he didn't really like. I mean, how entertaining can a sake factory or whiskey distillery be? *getting excited* Oh oh. And he saw snow for the first time and tried snow boarding for the first time too!

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): *getting worried about KPI* Wow. That's pretty awesome. Looks like i'll have my work cut out for me, on trying to emulate you.

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): Oh, don't worry. Seems like he has quite a number of friends wanting to go overseas. Plus, there seems to be a good long diving trip in the planning too. It promises to be a lot better than the ones i've had.

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): Really? That sounds pretty good. Lets hope all those talking and planning will turn into something concrete then.

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): I'm sure it will. Plus, his friends seems hell-bent on trying to get him a partner. *sniggers*

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): Really? His friends are really concerned about him, aye? I'm sure he appreciates their effort on his behalf. *rolls eyes*

Outgoing Twenty-Oh-Nine (2009): *clock chimes* Ah. The stroke of midnight! Here you go then. *passes the baton* Good luck! *fades out of view*

Incoming Twenty-Ten (2010): Thanks! *it's left pondering what will befall upon it*