If there is one word in which i would use to describe my life, it would be:
When i was young, my parents
controlled my life's every moment. And i don't
begrudge them for that. We are all young and foolish in the early stages of our lives, and we need someone to
control us, to discipline us.
And
now, it seems that i try and
control every aspect of my own life.
I try and
control my emotions. When a friend or colleague says something which i disagree, i
control myself from yelling at them. Well. I
try.
But sometimes i'm unsuccessful.I try and
control my body. Even though my legs haven't
fully recovered from a run, i go jogging again the day after. I
try and eat vegetarian food once a day, because i want to
control my weight.
I try and
control risks. As a engineer, i
have to consider various factors in order for my component/assembly to work. If i
can't mitigate them, i restrict them. So far, there hasn't been anything i can't
control.
I try and
control odds. Socially, there are always games to gamble. I don't like games where i can't
control my odds of winning. Therefore, i
only play mahjong, Big 2 and Blackjack. In such games, you can
control your own cards and hence,
control your odds of winning. And if you're skillful enough, you can even
control your opponent's cards as well.
So far,
control has serve me well. Or rather, it has become subconsciously
embedded into my life, such that i don't
even notice that i'm doing it.
But
because i
try and
control every aspect of my life, i have become something
even worse:
Labels:
mus·ing
