History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction.

So how? If cannot get approval, means cannot go out for tender leh.

I thought incredulously to myself: You are joking. The tender was confirmed to be on Monday. Our drawings and documents are almost ready, and you're telling me we cannot go out for tender?!

Forgive my crude language and analogy.

Telling us that we cannot go out for tender with the scheduled date so close, is a bit like having sex.

You both are having a good time romping the bed, sweating and doing the horizontal lambada. Then, when you're close to an orgasm, your partner tells you:

Oops. We were too hasty in the beginning. Lets put on a condom for safety's sake.

Except that when your sex session ends, it feels a lot better as compared to the real-life situation of the tender is released.

Things you should always consider before making a decision.

When you’re great, people often mistake candour for bragging.

Viwawa. Is. Farking. Addictive. (-.-)

I’ve been disempowered! My centering, self-actualizing anima has been impacted by toxic, co-dependent dysfunctionality!

During this year's Chinese New Year, we went to a temple to pray. While doing so, an auntie mistook my youngest brother as my son.

*

During one of my project's meeting, we were chatting with the cilents. One of them asked me, "So how old are you? 30?"

*

After another one of my project's meeting, i decided to have dinner with one of my peers, who is and looks like a middle-aged woman. The waitress at the restaurant mistook me for her husband.

*

There have been so many incidents of people mistaking me for being vastly older, that its not even funny. I think for each project that i'm currently handling, it adds two years to my appearance.

So, all in, that makes me look like a hundred-and-forty-seven years old. Sigh... (-.-)

Any suggestions?

There’s no sedative like seeing a tiger lying in the sun.

You can blame almost everything on jet lag.

Such as the inability to count.

Or the feeling that everything moves so slowly.

Or the inability to guard people in mahjong.

Or the laid-back feeling without any sense of urgency.

I wonder if you could blame your love life on jet lag.

They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines.

The things which i found out when i got back from Down Under include, but is not limited to the following:

1. Each time i stay with Caffeine Addict and Big Banana, i'm always subjected to menial labor. When i graduated and on my last day in Australia as a student, i helped wash the car. This time, on my last day of my one week break, i helped them to move house (I know Caffeine Addict is gonna kill me for writing this, but its true mah >.<).
2. It feels much better to walk in Sydney than to walk in Singapore. Perhaps the air is fresher, or there is a right mix of people and cars. Whatever it is, it just feels better.
3. There is a certain association with Caffeine Addict and Big Banana, with Korean food. Mix at your own risk of a veryveryveryfull-bulging-almostgonnaexplode-tummy.
4. There is also a certain association with Caffeine Addict, Big Banana and our other friends, with camping outdoors. I thought the camping for 2 years in National Service would have cured all urges to do so in the male Singaporean population. I know it did for me.
5. After a long discussion with Caffeine Addict, perhaps i should start thinking of extending my horizons. Not everything is what they seem. I will ponder on this.
6. I'm still in a hazy dream-like state, hallucinating that i'm still in Australia. Please bear with my intoxicated ramblings.
7. A good book can really sustain me. I can go without food, water or human contact, totally absorbed and engrossed in the imaginative world weaved by the book.
   
8. I found out that my boss postponed a company dinner, just for me to return from my break. It was initially scheduled on Friday when everyone could be present, but my boss chose to postpone it to Monday when i returned. I'm speechless.
   
9. The two boxes of chocolates and three containers of nougats which i brought back for my colleagues yesterday, are almost all gone. All within one working day. I think my present company of approximately 20 employees, has an appetite of approximately 200 employees. I need to bear this in mind when i go on holiday next time.
10. I'm still in a hazy dream-like state, hallucinating that i'm still in Australia. Please bear with my intoxicated ramblings.

Ground-breaking news just in...

Dear comrades,

I risk my life in revealing this profound secret to you all. A secret so tightly kept and highly guarded, that i only knew of it today when it took place two months ago.

A secret with an impact so huge and deadly, it could change the world. It was so important that we, the common people, have been kept in the dark.

The secret is this:

our dear Caffeine Addict and our slack Big Banana are engaged.

I regret to inform that although i have seen the promised ring of engagement, i was not able to take a photo of it. However, i assure you all of this, the diamond on it looks very real.

As a result of my knowledge of this profound secret, my life is now in danger. I have been accused by our dear Caffeine Addict, of two fatal charges:

1. Of me being unobservant, and thereby not noticing the ring earlier and therefore, not detecting of the secret earlier.
2. Of bringing flu from Singapore and thereby making her sick.

With these charges, i must now flee for my life. I beg of you all, my comrades, to spread the news far and wide. Although my death is eventual and inevitable, please do not let me die in vain.

Let the world know of this secret! Spread the word!

Memories of midnight

As i stepped off the plane and into Sydney airport, a flood of memories rushed over me.

Memories of the past.

Memories of being a student.

Memories of good times.

Memories of love.

Memories of happiness.

Now that i'm here on a holiday and in good company, i hope that they'll stay just that: as memories.

Nothing more.

Words of Wisdom from Very Wise Taxi Drivers Part Three

As i sighted the taxi pulling out from the opposite apartments, i thought to myself, lets see if he drives in my direction. If he does, i'll flag it. As fate turns out, i did flag the taxi and boarded it. Trying to strike up a conversation, i asked, "Just started your shift?"

"Should have started at 7pm. Had to start late because my day job had a late meeting. Sigh... Lost ten dollars already." Came the grumbling answer. "No choice lah. Work part-time is like that one. I tell you arh, i work for six years already."

"Heh. Meetings are a waste of time." i chuckled, still not quite understanding what he meant.

"Sometimes no choice lah."

"Every time a meeting is called, they talk and talk and talk. In the end, nothing is resolved." I declared.

"Yarh lor. Sometimes, i work until so late i can't drive afterwards. I just tell my partner that i can't drive and pay him accordingly. Luckily, he's quite understanding"

"Wow. You drive after your day-job? Very shiong leh, like that. After work already so tired, still have to drive taxi. But don't drive also good lah. If drive, lagi dangerous. You are so mentally tired." The message was slowly filtering into my slow brain and i realised how difficult this taxi driver's life is.

"Yarh lah. Thats true." Was his agreement.

"Wah. Uncle, you worked for six years already. You not tired?" Disbelieving, i noted his white crop of hair. How does he manage it at his age? I thought

"I numb already. But sometimes because of family, i have to work. I give myself another two years. My daughter is almost going to graduate. Once she does that, i'll stop." He replied wearily.

"Local uni?"

"No no. My daughter is in Australia."

"Really? Perth? Or Sydney?"

"Yeah, yeah. She's in UWA."

"Wah. Australian dollar is going up."

"Yarh lor" Was his grim reply.

"Well, when she comes back, at least you can rest from all this driving."

"No lah. She's not coming back." He said flatly.

"Then what? She work and send money back? Also good lah. Australian dollar so high."

"Hopefully she sends money back lah." He said hopefully.

When we finally reached my place, the fare was $10.40. I gave him $15.00, told him to keep the change and wished him a good drive.

I know it might not be much, but i sincerely do hope that it helped in some way. Driving a taxi after a long day at work is not easy.

To that taxi driver,
I wish you all the best. I hope your daughter comes back to help out with the family and that you don't have to drive a taxi after your day-job any more.

"The first penny had the motto 'Mind your own business'." You are worthless. The penny is better than you.

I don't think there's an official MTV, so this is just the song only by Linkin Park.



"Valentine's Day"

My insides all turned to ash, so slow
And blew away as I collapsed, so cold
A black wind took them away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing
I used to be my own protection, but not now
Cause my path had lost direction, somehow
A black wind took you away, from sight
And held the darkness over day, that night

And the clouds above move closer
Looking so dissatisfied
And the ground below grew colder
As they put you down inside
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

So now you're gone, and I was wrong
I never knew what it was like, to be alone

On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(I used to be my own protection, but not now)
On a Valentine's Day, on a Valentine's Day
(Cause my mind has lost direction, somehow)

"A hummingbird weighs less than a penny." You probably weigh more than South Africa. The hummingbird is better than you.

There is something reassuring and therapeutic about an ex-colleague coming back to work for the present company.

Perhaps its a sign that something is right about the company, since ex-employees want to come back to work.

Or perhaps its the sense of continuity.

Whatever it is, it just feels right.

"Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds." You? You can't even sing. The cat is better than you.

Somewhere in busy Japan, I'll bet there's a young adult who has never known anything but work, stress and tension.



But maybe he's heard about Singapore, and he dreams of living in this land of fun and relaxation!



Someday, I'd like to meet that guy...



And tell him the awful truth about this place!



*goes back to clear the mountain-load of work -__-*

My brain wishes my ego had call-waiting.

1. Design, supply and install Manchester United's English Premier League victory over Wigan on 11 May 2008. Location at JJB Stadium.
Price = $_______

2. Design, supply and install Manchester United's Champions League victory over Chelsea on 21 May 2008. Location at Luzhniki Stadium.
Price = $_______

3. Supply labour for crowning Manchester United as English Premier League champions. Location to determined on site.
Price = $_______

4. Supply labour for crowning Manchester United as winners of the Champions League. Location to be determined on site.
Price = $_______

5. Appoint a Singapore Pools Certified Punter with "Expert" Grade for supervision of the above-mentioned scope of works.
Price = $_______

6. Testing, balancing and commissioning for the all Manchester United's victories over the respective oppositions.
Price = $_______

7. Supply materials and labour for one-year maintenance during Defects Liability Period to ensure the continuity of Manchester United's domination of soccer.
Price = $_______

8. Any items not expressively mentioned but are necessary for a complete and satisfactory Double victory for Manchester United.
Price = $_______

So. Anyone? :D

A good compromise leaves everybody mad.

After much deliberation, scheduling, cancellation and rescheduling, i have finally bought my plane ticket to Australia.

I hate to go on leave and let the company struggle in such busy times, but i have already told Big Banana and Caffeine Addict that i will be coming to visit them.

Plus, i seriously do need the break.

Wow. A week without work and some real relaxation. Can you imagine that? Gosh.

Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.

"The aftermath of today's evening exercise..."

How the fark am i supposed to train for my pull-ups if my palms keep bleeding?! -_-"

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Six

"The rest of my body was even more distressing. Mr shoulders and back were rounded with fat, to say nothing of my chest and belly. My gut was more than a paunch; it was starting to hang. My thighs were heavy. Even my calves and ankles were swollen."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

For the past few weeks, i have been meaning to whip my ass into shape. The last time i actually exercised was before my reservist. And that was way back in November of last year.

Cancer Horoscope
Go to:Yesterday | Tomorrow
Jason,
The more you try to embellish, the more obvious it will be to everyone else that you don't really know what you're talking about. It is time to focus more of your time on improving your health. If you aren't currently on an exercise program, now is a great time to start. You may have to seek out medical advice.

So today, even Facebook was urging me to exercise. What can you do when a sign from above indicates that your body is seriously lacking, and your IPPT is approaching with the danger and speed of a charging bull?

In the afternoon, i tried to take a nap before embarking on my resolution. But somehow, i woke up after only a few minutes. My body seemed to anticipate the torture, and was too tensed for sleep. As the time approached, i did my warm ups and proceeded to embrace the punishment.

"Strangely, with the guilt came an odd relief. I'd finally found a cause for what had befallen me, and it was myself.
Suddenly, I felt I had control again.
Before, when I'd been unable to admit I'd been doing anything wrong, the fat had seemed like a curse, something that had befallen me, an effect with no cause. I thought of how I'd wanted to blame the plague and shook my head at myself."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

As i jogged at my own pace, i marveled at how my body could still remember the steady jogging pace and keep up with it. As far as i know, abstaining for exercise for more than three months will cause your body to slack off and lose its fitness. Even as i approach my first mental marker and stretch my legs, my body coped accordingly.

However, the months of being couch-potato finally took its toll at my second mental marker. As i open my stride again, my fitness was found wanting. Before i had even reached my turn-around point, my legs were screeching in protest and lungs heaving unsteadily. Well, this is what you get when you put off exercise for too long, i thought. Gritting my teeth and refusing to give in, i pushed my body till i reached the turn-around point.

"With determination strong in me, I returned to the afternoon's work and drove myself relentlessly. I raised and broke new blisters on my hands, and didn't care.
I rejoiced at how my back and shoulder ached as i punished my recalcitrant body with hard work and deprivation. I thrust my hunger pangs out of my mind and toiled on.
Towards the end of the day's work, my legs literally shook with fatigue, but i felt proud of myself. I was in charge. I was changing myself"
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

As i slowly jogged back, my legs were grumbling and complaining at the abuse and strain. Joggers, roller-bladers and cyclists frequently over-took me. Even an occasional toddler with his tiny tricycle could out-pace a surprised me. Depressing is an understatement to describe my feelings at that point.

As i passed the army camp and made my way to the fitness corner, a song broke out to signify the flag-lowering. My spirits lifted briefly, for it meant that i was doing almost as well as i did in the past. Meanwhile, an internal argument was taking place in my mind:

Lazy Me: I'm tired. And this is the first in a long time since we exercise. Can't we walk to the fitness corner?
Determined Me: Oh c'mon. Its not that far away. See? Once we turn that corner there, we've reached our destination.
Lazy Me: But our body has yet to adapt to the exercise. Surely such a sudden strain is not good?
Determined Me: Oh all right. We can walk. But only after we turn at that corner.
Lazy Me: *grumble grumble* Oh ok.
When i reached that corner,
Determined Me: Oh well, since we are here, we might as well jog all the way to the fitness corner.
Lazy Me: You lied! You said we could walk!
Determined Me: Yes, i lied. Look, its only a couple of meters away. Jogging that short distance isn't gonna kill us. We haven't collapsed and died from fatigue so far, so there is no reason why an additional short distance will kill us.
Lazy Me: I hate you.
Determined Me: Yeah, whatever. You will still listen to me, in the end.

And so, i reached the fitness corner and proceeded to do my pull-ups. Again, the months of being a couch-potato took its toll. I barely did seven pull-ups, and my soft palms peeled with traces of blood. I wanted to do my sit-ups, but a couple of kids were playing soccer. This time, i gave in to Lazy Me and walked home with a wet, salt-encrusted, smelly singlet.

"Discipline should have come from within a man. You should have learned it by now. But as you have not, I will impose it upon you, as if you were a spoiled child."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

What about the HOUSE? What ABOUT the house?

I don't think my fellow architects will quite agree with the negative bonus in safety. Heh. :)

The defendant petitions the court for a new trial on the grounds that his lawyer is incompetent.

"The path of power is a path of turns within turns"
- "Magician" by Raymond E Feist

The Game is one of the many intricacies and mysteries of life.

Like how putting kiwi on your shoes will make it shine.

Like how toast pops out after you put bread into the toaster.

Like how Mas Selamat managed to escape from prison.

"We sit upon this wooden palisade, leaning against frozen stones, in this miserable cold, surrounded by enemies, hours away from certain death, on a world not our own, and what do we do? We discuss politics back home."
- "Honoured Enemy" by Ramond E Feist & William Forstchen

The Game encompasses the working life. It is a practice. A good player of The Game is able to protect the company and his/her job. He/she will be able to manipulate and weave the complicated threads of politics into an shield for protection. The same threads could also be used to forge a double-edged sword, which can both harm and protect a working relationship.

"Did connections and marriages actually carry that much political and social weight, I wondered, and then instantly knew that they did."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

I dislike The Game. I accept and understand that it is necessary and vital in working life, but i just don't like it. Which is why i am, and forever will be, a poor player in The Game, and that i was told that i must learn how to play The Game as fast as possible.

When it comes to the crunch time, the final results of The Game will be revealed. It will show, segregate, sift and differentiate the good players from the bad. When it comes to the crunch time, everyone will be covering their own backs. When it comes to the crunch time, teamwork goes out of the window.

And i think that is the main reason why i dislike The Game.

Your simian countenance suggests a heritage unusually rich in species diversity.

I would like to say this.

I do yearn for female company. I do yearn for that someone special. I want to love someone with all my heart. I want to shower her with presents, gifts and love. I want to hold her in my arms and protect her from anything bad. I want to make that special someone happy.

However, i am under no illusions of myself.

I am fugly. I am fat. My character is harsh, rude and uncouth. I am inconsiderate and impatient.

It would take a brave girl to love me, if there are any willing in the first place. My industry is a male-dominated one. My work has occupied so much of my time, but simply because there is nothing left in my life (except perhaps the weekly mahjong sessions with my close friends *grins*). So i throw all my energy into my work.

I will not quit my work, simply because of my lack of love life and social interactions.

What will be, will be. If God or fate decrees that i shall meet that special someone, then so shall it be. If God or fate decrees that i shall remain single, then so shall it be.

Make no mistake. I look forward to the day when i shall meet that special someone. However, if that day does not come, i shall not die from the lack thereof.

Getting loads of loot is a very spiritual experience for me.

Secret Egg!! You have found one (bunny) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat. You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

I didn't even know there were Secret Eggs. :p

Happy Easter, everyone.

---

Update: 18/03/08

W00t! Two more in a single day! :D

Secret Egg!! You have found one (lucky) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat. You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

Secret Egg!! You have found one (leppit) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat. You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

Update: 19/03/08
Another one to the collection. Hhhmmm... Where is the Sparkle Egg that i've seen around? :)

Secret Egg!! You have found one (bunny) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat.You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Last Friday, while waiting for the room to clear so that we can have our meeting...

X: *laughs* Oh, come on. You cannot keep talking in dollars and cents.

Me: Oh please. Do you not talk about dollars and cents?

---

Today, while talking to a supplier...

Y: We hope that you can look past the dollars and cents.

Me: I agree. I would also like to look past the dollars and cents, but the fact of the matter is that it still matters.

---

If you think that dollars and cents do not matter in this world, then you are surely too naive. Yes, happiness and health is more important than wealth. But let us be realistic here: money still matters.

Our frequent complaint among ourselves in our company:

If you don't have money, then don't build.

Do you honestly believe that the cilent would disregard the project cost?

I think not.