Musings

(-.-) Things on my mind now:

• People say that the addiction to drugs is bad. i think addiction to power is worse.
• I've finish reading the two books that my oliphant has lent me: 'Ice Storm' and 'Prey'. both aren't bad and are recommend to be worth reading by yours truly. >.<
• All the villains in stories, shows and movies are always after the same thing: to become god.
• All the good guys win by sheer determination and a never-say-die attitude.
• My sniffles has cleared! yeah! :D

Update @ 6.40pm:

i finally received my company's email address and login details. my seniors are happy coz now they are flood my inbox now with loads of work. haiz... so now i'm working OT to finish up the current assignment, so that i won't be so overwhelm tomorrow. besides, i can earn OT money. :p

Enigma

I'm starting on Micheal Crichton's Prey and something occurred to me. i'd like to hear your views on this:

Would a househusband/stay-at-home husband/full-time dad (whatever u wanna call it) lose his masculine appeal and as a result lose the respect of his wife/peers? or is being the bread-winner a traditional thingy that goes along with the title of 'husband' and that in this modern world it doesn't matter?

P.S: personally, i'm unsure of my opinion. on one hand, i feel that a husband should have a job at the very least. on the other hand, i feel that a man shouldn't be ashame of doing household chores. hhmm...

Nose spray

Did you guys know that there is such a thing as a nose spray?

went to see the doctor yesterday coz i was sick and tired of my nose giving me grief by the constant sneezing and running. he prescribed a couple of pills and a nose spray. the nose spray is a small bottle with a tiny hole (where the medication comes out from) at a tapered end. to apply the nose spray, you insert the tapered end gently into one of the nostrils and press the bottle. ok ok, i'm starting to hear calls of 'gross!' so maybe i should stop describing. >.<

but now all of you will know that there is such a thing as a nose spray. see? you have learnt something today. lol...

P.S: i tried the nose spray and it works to a certain degree. my nose has now stopped running, but only becoz its irritatingly blocked. (-.-)

Spring Session '05 Results

I'm now at my senior's desk and computer typing this. he's gone home and i think my other senior got sick and tired of seeing me bored and having nothing to do. surfed around and checked if my results are out yet. they are.

MECH 311 - credit: 65%
my feelings on this are rather divided. on one hand i'm just glad i've passed this notoriously-difficult-to-pass subject, on the other hand i wish i could have done better as i need the marks for my target of second-upper honours.

MECH365 - distinction: 78%
all good. not surprised as i was kinda expecting this. yeah yeah, i hear jeers of 'shameless' starting to ring out, but i seriously think that there comes a time in studying where u can approximately predict what marks u get for a test/exam.

MECH479 - credit: 73%
hhhmmm... i'm slightly disappointed with this one. this exam was held on the same day as the subject above (refer to 'Crunch time' on 21/10/05). i thought that i did pretty well for both this one and the one above. i guess my assignments pulled me down. justin helped collected the late returnings of the assignments and reported the marks to me. they weren't too impressive and hence the pulling down of the marks, i guess. ah well, que sera sera...

MECH378 - distinction: 75%
now, this one surprised me. i honestly didn't think i would do this well (refer to 'Musings' on 1/11/05). i was fairly confident that they would moderate the marks, but this mark was unexpected. i'm on fairly comfortable terms with the lecturer, so i wanted to do well for this subject. ah well, its all good.

overall, i'm slightly disappointed with the results of this session. i think i did better in the Autumn '05 session, although i had gotten 2 D's and 2 C's as well. looking at the marks, it is a definite step down in achievement-wise. i really needed the high marks for my second-upper honours and i'm not too sure if these marks had helped. only way to find out is to go home and calculate them.

i suppose the marks ain't too bad, considering that i had five subjects this session, but i dun think it warrants a pat on the back. all i can do now is to do better next session. sighz...

*yawn*

First day at work today. forgot how tiresome it is to wake up so early for work. job description/ responsibilities? data entry, or a nicer term: admin assistant.

it was pretty boring. work comes in only when the people in front of me, in the chain of processes have done their part in compiling approximately 100 entries of part description by the suppliers. only then is it handed to me and i punched the mundane, lifeless and passive numbers into the system. other than that, i have nothing to do.

ah well... if they wanna pay me for doing nothing, fine by me. *yawn*

A sorry attempt in poem-dictation

Pitter Patter,
the fall of gentle rain-drops on the wet earth,
Pitter Patter,
standing on the balcony of my room,
Pitter Patter,
the balcony which flowerger wants to jump off to see if she can take a 'short-cut' (lol...),
Pitter Patter,
letting the cooling breeze wash over me,
Pitter Patter,
breathe in the fresh air that the cooling breeze brings,
Pitter Patter,
silence reigns in the neighbourhood,
Pitter Patter,
the smell of lunch emits from the kitchen (darn it, so much for the fresh air),
Pitter Patter,
the telephone chimes in, informing me that i have a interview at 3.30pm for an admin position in a manufacturing firm (darn it, so much for the silence),
Pitter Patter,
the rain ceases,
Pitter Patter,
darn it, the mood is broken,
Pitter Patter,
back to the real world, sighz...
Pitter Patter,
Pitter Patter,
Pitter Patter

Media

One of the headlines these days is that Singapore is ranked one of the lowest in terms of media freedom. perhaps they should examine within themselves the kind of entertainment they provide to the public first. if 'Singapore Idol' wasn't bad enuff, they had to produce a reality show similar to the 'The Block' here, where the stars compete with each other to renovate a flat/room. omg...

the shows over here are appalling. the chinese shows are always the same: family gets broken up, borrows money from loan-sharks, various husbands/wives have affairs, in the end everyone gets together and opens a family business. its always a 'family business' ending. the english shows aren't any better with the new reality shows like 'Singapore Idol' and now they are going to do it again: 'Singapore Idol 2'.

must we resort to 'copying' other shows to attract viewers or to spark a sense of creativity? (-.-)

Pain

You know you are seriously out of shape after running only 4km when:

1. you take almost an hour to run that distance,
2. your feet hurt like crazy and your thighs hurt like crazy (X 2) the day after,
3. your legs hurt like crazy (X 2.5) when u are walking up a stairway or up a slope,
4. your legs hurt like crazy (X 4) when u are walking down a stairway or down a slope,
5. your legs hurt like crazy (X 5) when u squat,
6. your abdominal muscles hurt like crazy (X 10) when u sneeze (yes, its unbelievable but it really does hurt!).

my cure for this world-of-pain disease is really simple:

1. grit your teeth and bloody endure it,
2. continue running and increasing the distance.
   

aaahhh, crap..... it hurts....

Home

its good to be back home, though i've caught the sniffles. to see my oliphant was really great and it was really good to spend quality time together. i've missed her presence, her hugs and kisses. i'm trying not to think of the seperation in feb'06 when i fly back to oz so i'm gonna enjoy every day and moment with her, and as much as her job would allow her to.

yesterday, me and oliphant went flowerger's 'hari raya party' to see the familar faces and company that i've missed in wollongong, and catch up with one another. on a depressing note, i've received many comments that i've grown stockier. i guess its time to break out the jogging shoes again and run my ass off. last time i was back in the middle of year, i didn't bring back my jogging shoes so i had excuses, which is void now coz i brought them back home this time round.

been reading abit of news back home. saw an article about a teacher's blogging and how she publishes sex-related articles. i guess bigbanana's entry of uncyclopedia's explanation of singapore is really true: singaporeans do blog (and hence complain/whing) alot and my opinion is that its a reflection of the suppressed spirit that exists here. but my issue is with the teacher's blogging, as in i'm pretty much on her side. the article, as u can imagine, was simply stating what she publishes in there, as opposed to the supposedly 'good' behaviour that all teachers are suppose to have so that our children would model their own behaviour after them. and while we are on the raunchy topic of sex, there is apparently gonna be a exhibition on sex toys and stuff coming soon, with a few exhibits being barred/banned. furthermore, there was another article on the state of denial and ignorance that parents have on their teenagers' premartial sex, which is becoming more widespread.

i think it can all be boiled down a simple statement: sex sells. i dun have any issues with publishing topics on sex stuff, but it really seems to me that sometimes singaporeans are still stuck on the old mindset. in the last article i mentioned (abt ignorance and denial that parents have), it went as far as to quote one of them saying that as long as parents do not talk with their children on the birds and bees, they do not believe that their children would try premartial sex. talk about state of denial. thats rite, we believe that our children do not drink (yeah, rite), do not go to pubs (yeah, rite X 2) and do not have premartial sex (yeah, rite X 3). oh yes, pls note the tone of sarcasm in the last sentence. >.<

in addition, aren't teachers humans as well? what abt the internet free speech that bigbanana adovcated? what has happened to the right to do what we want? it sure seems to me that our every action is scrutinized and when we do something relating to sex ,'bam!' the media homes in and reports on us, saying ,"wow! look at this person talking abt sex. tsk tsk tsk." (-.-)

in relation to the first article (abt the teacher publishing sex stuff on her blog), teachers are not angels, they are human beings. they have the right to relax, drink beer and do what they want (all in moderation, of coz :p). there was also another quote of someone's reaction when the teachers ordered a jug of beer ,"what? how can you drink beer? you are teachers!" or somewhat to that effect. while there is no question that they ARE role models for the students and that their behaviour needs to exemplery, but given the stressful working environment these days (what with wilful and spoilt kids coming from rich families who believe that they own the school and can demand that the principal makes a public apology for punishing a student), isn't it a wonder how they can cope and its all the more reason for them to relax. a blog is suppose to be an online diary where u can express your innermost and deepest feelings. whats the point of blogging when u have to constantly look over your shoulder to see if your posts and comments are non-controversial or non-exmplery? (-.-)

btw, whenever i have the sudden suicidal urge to become a teacher, pls remind me of this post. lol... for now, i'm trying to recover from the sniffles, go date my oliphant after dinner and jogging tomorrow. *grins* happy happy happy.

Coz i'm leaving on a jet plane...

I know some of you must have heard or said this a thousand times, but i'm gonna say it again: isn't it amazing how much stuff u can accumulate over the years? omg...

i'm currently packing my stuff for storage, and it never ceases to amaze me just how much things i have. and to think that i first came to oz with only two suitcases. i could prob fill ten right now. i'll also be having dinner and catching up with a few friends before i leave, giving me plenty of reasons to pack my kitchenware first. lol...

in any case, i'm filled with anticipation to fly home and see my oling oliphant. i'm really eager to see her and spend some quality time together. however, its gonna be a pain in the ass trying to find a vacation job again and i wonder if i'll be able to find an engineering one or at least one with better pay so i can buy a desktop. >.<

the internet service will be terminated tomorrow and i'll prob wun blog again till i reach home... for now, its pack pack pack...

Current song on my mind

i managed to find a translated version of this japanese song. like the hopeless romantic that i am, i really like this ballad-like song. the lyrics are abit disturbing though (>_<). for those out there who are clueless about Initial D, its about a mountain pass street racing in japan. the anime is now in its 4th season, and i'm eagerly awaiting the next two-episodes-every-two-months release in December. i'm really into this anime coz its all about cars, engines and racing. blame it on the mechanical engineer part of me. (-.-)

Noah no hakobune (Nobody reason) - Initial D 4th Stage Second Ending Song
A rose that blooms on the battlefield
For the reason they don't know
Is trampled again today by a tank that can only move forward
Hates and pain
Only hatred is growing
Hates and pain
That's the live image of the world we live in

Embrace me
Tighter than ever
I hear your voice on a restless night
For the reason they don't know
The world will drown in blood someday
All around the world
Just let me forget that news
I don't want to know

Nobody reason, nobody is sure where is the end
But if this rickety, powerless ark keeps rowing along
Nobody reason, no one confess that it was wrong
Just a little bit more
I don't care if it's all lies
Sing for me

Look, the info mass media that's feeding us is more convoluted than ever
They paint a bleak picture of the state of our outnumbered existence
Reason is combustile
We're at the age where man has lost all restraint
Our body and soul continue to be baptized

Nobody reason, nobody is sure where is the end
But if this rickety, powerless ark keeps rowing along
Nobody reason, no one confess that it was wrong
Just a little bit more
I don't care if it's all lies
Sing for me

!"£%^*()_+=-

Its bloody 3 in the morning and they've just managed to swtich off the fire alarm that was blaring for an hour or so. feel like applying for special consideration for my last paper later in the morning. how the fark am i suppose to get back to sleep, now that i'm awake?! (-.-)

!"£$£$%%^%^%^&*&())+_-

A Disquiet Heart

After so long, one would have thought that time would temper and eventually quench the anger, rage and fire in my heart. for now, this assumption/illusion is proven wrong.

a chance remark completely refired the grievances that were buried, and perhaps the dwelling and brooding of past memories were catalysts for this to happen. the rigid self-control, which had served me for so long, prevents me from running over, punching, kicking, shouting and venting my anger. i have a sudden urge to lash out at some inoffending object or to the offender and cause of this rage. you might ask: why not air the grievances to the person? my answer: because it happened in the past and i don't want to dreg it up. quarrels, fights and wars are created because of such actions and by intending to avoid such consequences, i have placed myself in a paradoxical quagmire.

the more i chew on the events, the stronger the flame grows. dammit, i need something to distract myself. (-.-)

Golden Memories and Silver Tears

Has anyone reminisce about their past?

sometimes my past strikes me and i start to relive what i had done in my earlier days. i start to brood on how childish i was, how nerdy i was and how annoying i must have been. how many times have i bitterly repent my actions and i truly wish i could turn back time and change what i had done. it causes me no end of grief, chagrin and embarrassment whenever i dwell upon my stupidness, foolishness and naivety. it makes me wonder how i could have any friends at all. come to think of it, i'm not even sure if they consider themselves as my friends. now thats a truly depressing thought and hence this post's ironic title. >.<

would changing the past make me a better person? or would it confine me in a shell of immaturity? given a choice to remake my past, i can't say for sure if i will accept the offer. between being happy with who i am and the possible future of a better me, i'm undecided. but one surety lies in mind: to have met and love my oliphant is the greatest thing that has happened to me and i won't trade/change it for all the jewels i have seen or own.

P.S: sorry if this is a little too mushy, but this is MY blog and i can write whatever i like. so there. lol...

Morning

has anyone ever woken up early enuff to smell the crisp morning air? i woke up at 8.30ish today and the morning air was invigorating. its good to have all that unbelievably fresh air, which is sufficient to wake you up from your sleepy stupor, before the world pollutes it with its everyday activites. aahhh... its pure pleasure to slowly savour each breath and think of nothing else, unlike work or NS where you have duties and responsibilites threathening to overwhelm you as the day starts.

mornings are always full of life and promises. the disappointments usually do not start until later. :)

Musings

(-.-) Stuff on my mind now:

• They had better moderate the third examination that i just took this morning. it was ssooo difficult and there wasn't enuff time to finish all the questions. it felt like two seperate papers combined into one. omg...
  
• My friend just inform me that there were a couple of cars that were broken into yesterday night. mi and my roomies heard a few of the car alarms going off during our late dinner last night, but we thought it was due to the rain and lightening that has be going on since 7ish pm. how many bloody car break-ins would it take to convince the police that they need to step up security in wollongong and the kooloobong campus??? they seriously need to either stop focusing on speeding only (because it kills and lost human lives are more impt than lost property??!!), or get more policemen to address this issue. really irks mi to think that those policemen are either sitting on their fat asses, eating doughnuts or telling people that they won't be even dust the car for fingerprints or collect evidence. are aussie policemen really that short-handed or incompetent???!!!
  
• Bloody lawn-mowers. can't they cut the grass when there isn't any exams going on??? sheesh... someone needs to invent a quieter lawn-mower.
  
• On the bright side, the small pond in front of Building 40 is almost filled to the brim from the constant rain of the past few days. it was drying up ever since the beginning of this year. hopefully the rest of region gets the same amount of rain and end the drought spell.