Six Days and Counting Down...

With last week and this one, i've been and will be meeting up with my friends. As always, the catching up seems to be always left to the last minute due to the sloth and passive stance from all of us (no lah flowerger, i'm not talking abt the wollongong gang but my other friends, so dun get all paranoid >.<). Time seems to pass so swiftly, so much so that i find it quite hard to believe that i'll be flying back to Oz on Sunday. The frantic packing of my stuff into storage before flying home seems like a distant memory and the bright aussie sunrays beckon. It has been a great holiday back home and i've enjoyed all the gatherings and catch-up sessions. Hopefully, we'll be able to continue this when i fly back after my graduation, which depressingly signals the beginning of my era in the workforce and reservist term. >.<

For all the fun and great food that i've had for the last three months, i do admit that i'm looking forward to being in Oz again. Under my parents' sponsorship (yippee! :D), i've bought my PC parts for Big Banana to assemble for me. *grins* Yes yes, i have an ulterior motive (i can so hear the gasps and see the accusing stares from you guys -.-). My oliphant was already sulking when she heard and saw the 19" LCD monitor that i've bought (she wanted it first >.<). Oops. :D However, there is yet another reason (seriously, i'm not lying >.<). Quite a few weeks back, i was re-watching a documentary, in which the speaker was talking in a background of cafes and sunny weather. In that moment, that background reminded me so much of Oz that i had a sudden longing for it. That feeling still remains in my heart.

To feel the bright sunlight and enveloping warmth, to smell the sea breeze that wafts through your hair, to drink in the open spaces and relaxtion of a slow-paced day. To enjoy each day by every second, every minute, every hour, seeping through your fingers like fine sand and yet not lamenting the lack of time, but slowly savouring it like a fine meal, bite by bite, or the running of sweet wine across your tongue. To have such freedom, go where-ever you want, how-ever you want, when-ever you want. To stroll along a beach, with only the starry moon-lit night sky and the sound of waves as your companions, or across a sunny field with the exchanging of small smiles as strangers pass by, feeling the grass and earth beneath your feet, or along a quiet street with trees casting their shadows across a golden walkway, the distant sounds of kids playing and your footsteps as your companions this time.

man, i miss austraila.

Reminiscing and Chewing over past regrets...

Woke up this morning to get back to work. sighz. it was a extremely long weekend, and one that i certainly enjoyed. its just a teeny-tiny-itsy-bitsy depressing to wake up early again to go to work (ok ok, its not a bit, its very >.<). furthermore, my seniors and boss are on leave, so effectively i've got nothing to do for the rest of the day. mind you, i'm not one of those Office-Loafers as written in the newspapers, its just that i genuinely have nothing to do *innocent look* (yes yes, flowerger, you can stop sniggering! >.<).

it was a good chinese new year for me. i met up with my relatives and cousins, and of course gambled away (won $5! yes, its not a lot but at least i won money :p). the wollongong gang came over to my place yesterday and i'm pretty sure we all had a great time. it felt good to see everyone sitting down in my living room, chatting and catching up. the air of togetherness is something i always enjoy and there was an abundance of that yesterday. we got the entire gang to play Shithead as well (to flowerger's obvious delight, i sure >.<) and laughter bubbled out easily. it was really a reminiscence of days back in wollongong and i can't wait to get a flat with my oliphant so that we can resurrect the Friday Gatherings (yes flowerger, then we can play Shithead every week >.<). pardon me, but i'm starting to sound a bit mundane and old with all that recollecting and wishy-washy stuff.

i had to run off with my oliphant to my Student Council's gathering. we were having such a good time that i wished we could have continued and stayed at my place (sounds a bit cliche, but its true >.<). i reached my friend's place late, only to find that i was the second person there. haiz. after so long, the council's habit of late attendence is still prevalent. it was good to see old faces and i think i haven't seen some of them for two years or more. perhaps its becoz of this fact that i started to feel the distance between us. somehow, there is an invisible barrier that prevents me from calling them my close friends. i remember thinking in my JC days that we'll always be good friends, keep in touch and all that stuff/crap/bullshit (choose one, take your pick, they all mean the same >.<), but it seems that this 'prophecy' has failed. am i disappointed? in some way, i guess. you can never have too many friends. but then again, i dun really blame them for that distance that has grown.

first of all, i flew to australia to study and being in another country is hard to keep in touch. secondly, whenever i came back, i joined them occasionally and didn't get all of the gathering invitations. thirdly and perhaps most pressing in my mind, is that my past self wasn't that worthy of a friend. although i didn't know it at that point of time and do know now, i can't name one person that i was close with in the council. as a group, we've been through a lot: planning, working, cheering etc etc. but at the end of our term as a council, i still haven't found someone who i can call a close friend. i guess i was an outcast in some ways due to my immature, childish and lousy attitude and the others avoided me as much as possible. i dun blame them for it as i have only myself to blame. if given the chance, will i go back and change whatever i've done? of course. why shouldn't i? my attitude was poor and i refused to acknowledge the (cold-hard-stark-naked-staring-in-my-face) truth, much less change it in my JC days.

do you guys still have your autograph books from your schooling days? i still have mine and i yanked it out when i finally reached home. as i lay on my bed, i read through the various entries and words start to jump out: loud, violent, attention-seeking. even though there are lines such as 'you are a really great councillor', 'you are a good friend' blah blah blah, i wonder if they really meant it. is it because they feel that they have to write something nice and thus write such lines? if so, i'm not surprised and neither do i blame them for it. i would have prob done the same. when i told my oliphant abt my chewing over past regrets, she replied that as long as i dun carry them too much. with constant meeting-ups and gatherings, memories are revived and the past dreg up. regrets then start to surface again and i chew on them again. the vicious cycle continues.

its almost like i'm behaving like a child/puppy, always desperately seeking approval from my friends. not in the parental sense of approval, but approval in the sense of being popular and well-liked. i really want to get to know my council friends better and hang out with them. but somehow i get the feeling that i'm still being viewed as my past self, who has imposed a horrendous mile-wide gap between us. sure, i have other friends but the same statement comes in again: you can never have too many friends. i want to make up for my past deeds and i really want to show that i'm not the same as before but i'm not sure if i'll ever get a chance to do so. or maybe i haven't really changed and my past self simmers at the surface. i wonder how the rest of my friends view me now. on and on, the downward spiral of depression turns and throws up the dirt of regrets and memories.

if you have read till this far, i applaud for your steadfastness in reading this happy-turned-depressive post *standing ovation amid whistles and calls of "steady lah!" and "power man!"*. i have my oliphant and i'm happy as i can be. i have someone who loves me and i love her in return. sure, there are things that i hope will change for the better. but then again, who doesn't have any? in the meantime, i'll enjoy as much as i can in this life and live my life with my oliphant. regrets can be underrated or over-rated, but they can be useful and make one a better person sometimes.

Is that your final answer?

I think there is saying somewhere that goes something like this: some of life's major decisions are made on the spur of the moment, and take only an instant to decide.

well, looks like i'm heading back home to (the claustrophic, congested, noisy, kai-su, tiny-island-in-the-middle-of-nowhere) Singapore after i graduate. time to join the singapore rat-race with flowerger, kinky nomad and the rest of the wollongong gang.

oh yah. wishing you guys a Happy Chinese New Year. may your ang-baos always be full and your gambling rivals lose money! *grins* :D

P.S:
1. the never-ending story is still waiting for anyone to continue. the post is below, so pls click on the link to read the latest update. :p
2. cheers to the Addicks who drew with Chelsea! let the mighty Jose Mourinho falter and fear!
3. cheers also to Man Utd who won narrowly with Liverpool. Kudos to a Reds masterly defence!

In memory of our departed loved ones...

This song is dedicated to those who have missed their departed loved ones. as friends, we will always be there for each other thru the good and bad times. do not mourn for those who die fulfilling their destinies. they have given much to us, and we can repay them by living our lives to the fullest and their memory in our hearts.

One Sweet Day by Boyz II Men
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say

P.S: *control tower, control tower, this is SQ-WLLG (short for wollongong >.<) taking off, permission to use the run-way* flowerger and the rest fly plane sia. today suppose to go chinatown to look look see see. but everyone is tired, so the gathering's off. i'm still feeling ok and i might still head out with my oliphant, depending if she has recovered from her flu. *grins* the advantages of youth, i suppose. :D

The Never-Ending Story Comic Strip?!

At the request of flowerger (please click on the picture for a closer view >.<). lol... what a pity the comic strip generator doesn't have colour. as our dear friend, john kwok, would say ,"aye, this is nonsense lah. cancel lah arh, cancel. cancellation." :D

any other requests? *grins*

The Never-Ending Story Part Two

So far, the response to the pilot episode has been pretty good (drawing viewership of abt 10 comments >.<). thus, (by the powers invested in me as the story director >.<) i have decided to continue along with the story. i think you can tell who had contributed by reading each section (i.e. gay-ness by flowerger *cough cough*, pink stuff by pinkys etc etc >.<). lol... anyway, the story so far is as follows:

its was a warm and sunny day. adam was out with his girlfriend, adeline, walking his dog, bones. then suddenly, adam turned to adeline and said..."honey i have been keeping this from you for a while that...well its not you. i met someone...he is real nice. we get along very well. and we are moving in together soon."

teary-eyed, adeline embraces adam and whispers,"i know. thats why i poisoned your breakfast." "what?! nnoo... how could you do this to me, you witch?!" adam croaks out as he slumps to the floor. sensing the death of his master, bones gave a mournful howl and as if on cue, a flock of ravens filled the air...

and right on cue he wakes up with no recollection of the last 10 mintues. straightening his horribly crumpled shirt (dying can do that to your clothes), he continues "don't you ever wonder how strange it is that our names both start with 'a'?"

"you stupid man!" adeline screeches, "you are suppose to die! stupid poison! i bought it for $98.00 on ebay and it doesn't work! now i have to iron your bloody shirt!" in her fit of fustration, she whips out a pocketknife and slashes wildly at him. unbeknown to her, ... ...

came adam's boyfriend, everett. he grab the knife from adeline and stab her instead, many times. "take this woman. how dare you do this to my adam." little known to everett, adeline has magical powers that she cannot be hurt from the stabbing of knives. both of them get into physical fight. adam nursing his wounds relax one corner and watch the fight.

"whoa there!" came a shout. everett and adeline paused in the middle of their fight, turning in the direction of the yell. someone dressed in red, blue and lots of black lines, swooped down. that someone is... ...spiderman! "this is your neighbourhood friendly spiderman. now then, what seems to be the problem?" spiderman asks as he stands crossed-arms, in between the awe-struck pair... ...

spidey to adeline "told you not many times not to date that loser. why can't you listen to me for once??" spidey fuming mad kick everett in the stomach and gave adam a tight slap on the face. "now adeline let kor take you home. its time you embrace this power of yours and join me. we can become the spider siblings." adeline took her kor's hand and went home with him.

and along came the PINK SUPERGIRL, wearing four shades of pink on her cape, her outside underwear, her boots with deadly pointed heels, and pink hair!! Shouted Pinky Supergirl, "You moronic good-for-noting-spider!! You said you loved me!!! U!! U!!!" She flashes her pink powers and pinkinised everybody - no one was spared. they died due to rude shock of bright pinky power....

however, the huge ironic hand of fate struck once again. When Adeline stabbed adam, she unknowingly transferred a tiny bit of her immune-to-stab-wounds power to adam. Jolted by the sudden pink power, both powers combined and mutated to enhance adam's normal body. He becomes... ...the new Pink Power Ranger! Adam rushes to everett's side, weeping as his lover drew his last breath ,"I shall avenge, my darling, I promise you!" filled with calm resolve, he takes to the sky, scattering the ravens that had flocked earlier, and finds... ...

and the story marches on (dragging along everyone in its wake >.<). continue, anyone? lol...

Its alive! Its ALIVE!! ITS ALIVE!!!

It worked!!! the letter actually worked! Woohoo! for the first time in days, i get to see the sun! yippee!

*cast eyes heaven-ward* dear Weather God sir, thank you ssoo much for reading my letter and granting my/our pleas. to show my gratitude, i shall offer my undying loyalty and service as your priest and spread the word of your existence. *kowtows* in addition, i shall build an altar and offer a sacrifice of dinner for you tonight. once again, a thousand thanks, Weather God sir.

hhmm... maybe next time i shall offer a blood sacrifice in the form of a nice plump virgin (as all legends and myths go >.<). *looks around* flowerger, you up for it? or maybe you, pinkys? joking. *grins* :D

A Letter to the Weather God

Dear Weather God sir,

First and foremost, let me tell you how important you are, in our pitiful lives. during the course of history, you have seen our attempts in self-extinction and self-destruction. you have also seen our achievements and glories. empires rose and fell under your glaze. throughout all, you have granted us the proper conditions and environments for us to flourish (and breed like rabbits >.<). without your favour, we would have surely died and the word 'homo-sapiens' might not be invented.

next, let me ask you this: are you out of your freakin' mind?! it has been gloomy and rainy for the past week! what the hell are you doing?! are you slacking off somewhere and letting your assistant do your job? (becoz if thats true, your assistant is doing one hell of a bad-ass-job and you better get your ass to completing your responsiblities!) or are you currently training your eventual replacement/successor? (if so, i think its time you step in and stop the on-job-training!) darn it, sir. let us see some sun, please? on behalf on all singaporeans and all that is good and holy, please please, give us some sun. i swear you are trying to hint to me that i need to bring an umbrella to work (since each time i knock off, there is always rain, be it a drizzle or a shower >.<). furthermore, various parts of asia are suffering under sudden cold spells. australia is always on the verge of a perpetual drought. if i may be so bold to suggest, sir: let australia have our rain for the time being and divert the cold spells to Down Under. whole species are dying from the summer heat wave in Oz and i'm sure they would welcome some relief, of which we are only too glad to give them in exchange for some sunshine.

in conclusion, i sincerely urge you to consider my suggestion and hear my/our pleas. we really really need some sun. if you do not give us some sun soon, singapore would soon turn into a country of lethargic, shivering kia-su people who would form massive queues for jumpers and umbrellas. we won't want that to happen now, would we? oh wait, it has already happen (at least for the 'kia-su' and 'massive queues' part >.<).

yours truly,
a desperate-for-some-sun blogger

*looks out from the window* darn it, the rain hasn't stop. letter not effective. *crushes letter, throws it over shoulder* (-.-) haiz... maybe i should try a rain-stopping dance. hhmm... >.<

The Never-Ending Story Part One

Have you guys ever played the game 'Continue the Story'? this is how its basically played: somebody starts off by writing the first few lines of a story (like 'danny was out with his girlfriend, walking his dog.') then someone else takes over by writing his/her lines of a story (like 'suddenly gozilla appears!' >.<) it could be one or three sentences, just as long as its not one humongous big paragraph. -.-

i was wondering if i should try it out on blogger. i could write the starting few lines of a story and you guys could continue from there via comments. lol... will be interesting to see where the story goes, based on our combined imginations. :D

here is the pilot episode (hence, depending on 'audience ratings', i might discard this idea >.<):
its was a warm and sunny day. adam was out with his girlfriend, adeline, walking his dog, bones. then suddenly, adam turned to adeline and says,"... ...
(pls continue from here, lol... >.<)

And the Icy Blade is deflected by the Shield of Reasoning...

through the warnings and persuasion of my oliphant, i have deleted my previous post. i DO admit that it was unworthy of me and i shouldn't have done it. i'm truly sorry for those who felt offended and i offer a thousand apologies.

on a happier note, i finally got a pair of new shoes. the previous light-brown ones had been worn out in a shockingly short space of time. think its becoz of the way i walk. i tend to put my heels down first as i walk (or also known as 'digging' for those who have been in the army or uniform groups before). blame it on my 4 years in the National Cadet Corps (Sea) and my 2.5 years in the army lah. haiz... after so much marching and drilling, i can't help but 'dig' as i walk (this aspect of my walking has helped me gone through quite a number of shoes). :p in addition, it appears that my previous pair had a 'hollow' rubber sole (as opposed to a 'solid' rubber sole >.<). so once the bottom layer was worned out, it was just a matter of time before i have a hole at the heel portion. sighz...

in addition, i have also bought three shirts with my oliphant at the Topman store at Suntec. yep, me and my second self went shopping! lol... we initally went shopping yesterday at orchard, but couldn't find anything to my satisfaction. got kinda depressed at the end, coz i was all ready to shop and buy my stuff for CNY (plus i needed new shoes before my feet decided to sulk and rebel on me with all the walking in the rain and puddles -.-). so this shopping trip at suntec was fruitful and i'm all happy with my new stuff. Woohoo! lol...

P.S: to my oliphant, thanks for putting up with my moodiness that day. *hugz and muacks!* hee... :D

The First Post of Twenty-Oh-Six

My first post of 2006. my feelings currently? melancholy. deep, slow sadness, weary and languorous. i can't explain why.

perhaps (and most probably >.<) its becoz i stayed up till 12am (or was it 11.30pm? can't remember), reading 'American Gods' and being the 'day-bird' that i am, i didn't get my normal intake of sleep. its quite a good book, although it somehow takes up alot of my brain juice to keep up with the story.

or perhaps its becoz on the way to work, i saw the multitude of kids/teenagers on the way to their first day of school. i thought back to my secondary school days and i thought of the ease and comfort i felt at that period of my life. did i really feel that way? i can't be sure. have i ever felt out of place before? i dunnoe.

or maybe its becoz i had the strangest dream (last night? or was it the night before? i can't remember -.-). i dreamt of someone dressed in a white and brown robe, and with a gentle command, "soft", cause a ring (with diagonal lines along its band and with an open end) to rise and catch it with his (or her? can't remember) palm facing down. in that same dream, i dreamt of another monk-like person, sitting and meditating on a concrete perch, and below was a square pool of water. i remember the former someone (who commanded the ring to rise and catch it with a palm facing down) telling me that the latter someone (who is meditating on the perch) is training. as i approach, i see an image/illusion being cast onto the square pool below. an image not unlike the art of an austrailan aboriginal, with black and different shades of brown, coupled with thick outlines of white. and somehow, in that dream, i understood why he was training when the former someone said,"now you know why he trains".

or perchance its becoz i found out that i can't go to caffeine addict's house gathering on wed, becoz its my father's birthday and i have to go for a family dinner to celebrate. its disappointing, to say the least. i was looking forward to seeing her, my oliphant and the rest of the wollongong gang.

sigh... such tumultuous and conflicting mix of emotions. 2006. what a way to start the new year. then again, i never believe that the start of a new year would symbolise and represent what the new year would become. neither do i believe in new year resolutions for i live my life as it is, take events as they come, and make my decisions when needed. i'm not making sense, am i?

Boy-Girl-Relationship

Check these articles that MSN have on their website: 5 Guys that Gals should date, and 5 Gals that Guys should date.

i think thats absolute bollocks. you dun need to learn all of life's lessons through a partner. a guy can learn that sex is not everything by dating a seductress (read: nympho >.<). duh?! of course sex isn't everything. any man who thinks sex is everything, should be locked up and have the words 'sex maniac' branded/stamped on his forehead. a gal can learn life's values by dating a older guy (read: sugar daddy >.<). wtf?! you can learn this stuff from examining your own or others' lives. any woman that dates an older guy just to learn life's values should be locked up along with the 'sex maniac' and have the words 'bimbo' stamped/branded on her forehead. if one's reason/s for entering a relationship is anything other than affection or love, it would seem hypocritical to me. i think such a relationship would only end in painful separation.

Honestly. *shakes head* what's with the world these days? it seems to me that every single webpage has adverts or posters screaming 'find that special someone!' or 'boost your love life!'. we live in sad times, my friends, we live in sad times. haiz...

oh yeah, and A Happy New Year to all of you! see ya guys next year. :)

Fingers-and-Toes-Crossed

I've just realised how much fun it is to play/muck around with html tags. kinda interesting to type codes/tags in and see the results they produce (not that i like to produce the ENTIRE code by myself >.<). when using simple html tags in the 'comments' section of Blogger, it gives me a tiny warm feeling of satisfaction to see it produced the way i want it to (ok ok, i'm starting to hear calls of 'control-freak', better stop >.<).

in relation to the above paragraph, i've rummage through the entire html code of my Blogger template and added a new section: Other Blogs that i read (yes yes, i'm very proud of myself -.-). so far, all of them are Big Banana's friends and i hope they won't be offended that i link my blog to theirs. they are those that i consistently read, mainly becoz i feel that they are really interesting.

• Naughty Girl: otherwise known as Adrienne/Adrenaline, her posts are interesting and uncommon.
• Animal Nut: otherwise known as Becky, her posts are humorous and lace with irony.
• Purple Monster: otherwise known as Barneysaurus, his posts are just plain funny, even the name is funny already. :p
• Green Monster: otherwise known as Green Orge, his posts are cool.

perhaps i'll add more when i've found other interesting blogs too. like i say, i fervently hope they aren't offended that i've linked them to my blog. will be depressing if they ARE offended and ditch their current blogs to make another one, in efforts to remain in anonymity (if you are reading this and want me to remove the link, DO tell me via comments and i'll do so straightaway).

Tis' the season to be jolly: A weekend aftermath

A friday of laughter and games at my company's christmas lunch (A sorry looking reindeer and christmas 'scarecrow' was the result of A 'dress-up' game >.<). after A handing in of time-slips to the job agency, A surprise visit to my oliphant's workplace with A bag of (long-queued-and-waiting) Famous Amos chocolate-chip-macadamia cookies, and to give her heart and encouragment for the christmas crowd. :)

A saturday tim sum buffet lunch with my oliphant's folks at Teahouse, China Square. A 'Narnia' movie screening at Shaw Tower. A night of renewing intimacy with my oliphant.

A 7am wet sunday morning rush to my oliphant's workplace. A belly full of fire after A family dinner of codfish curry fishhead at Toa Payoh and A monday full of slacking.

yes, it was A good weekend. :)

P.S: i saw on telly the christmas crowd at orchard and shuddered. a few people who were interviewed, talked abt enjoying themselves, the chrstmas spirit and buying last-minute presents. how on earth can you enjoy yourself when you have push, shove and bull-doze your way to the huge throng of inconsiderate shoppers, gawkers and by-standers? Sheesh. (-.-)

Ho Ho Ho...

Went out for dinner on saturday with my oliphant, flowerger, judess and the rest of the wollongong gang (yes flowerger, its wollongong gang not gong gang, the latter sounds too cheesy >.<). SOMEONE told us the meeting place would be at Shaw Tower *glares at flowerger, can see flowerger glaring sullenly back*, and didn't further clarify that its at bugis, not orchard (actually its partly my fault for not knowing and clarifying with flowerger beforehand, but edmund and judess also got confused, so i guess flowerger has to take some blame for it >.<). in any case, the meeting time was 7.30pm and my oliphant drove by to pick me up before heading down. due to the confusion and traffic jams, we got to Shaw-Lido at abt 8ish before realising that it was the wrong Shaw (yes yes flowerger, i can see you protesting vociferously your innocence but humour me lah >.<). so we helter-skelter out and made our way to the proper Shaw, by which it was already close to 9ish. sighz. off to a bad start, but it sure didn't dampen the mood throughout the rest of the night. :)

it was good to see all of them and i really enjoyed chatting and catching up. as a result, i honestly didn't notice the crappy service by the restaurant. it was only after mi and oliphant's ordering of our late dinners, were we told of the long waiting times and small portions (no flowerger, its not your fault for choosing a bad restaurant). tired of waiting for the smokers to come back (can see judess blushing in the corner >.<), we sang and celebrated jess's and roy's birthday without them. then came the exchanging of pressies. i got a blue doggy mug from rosie and my oliphant got chocolates from judess (think it should be gone by now *grins*). i think judess got my oliphant's car keychain, rosie got a chicken clock (from who ah? i dunnoe leh, can someone clarify?) and flowerger obtain a male's cologne, which she exchanged for a female's perfume with joshua (think someone is trying to tell u something, flowerger *sniggers* >.<) Ali helped pay for our dinner and we were grateful for that *shouts out a huge 'thank you' to Ali*.

as we headed out whilst still chatting, i caught sight of the good-nature bickering between the girls. my oliphant was 'jealous' becoz flowerger and judess were a 'couple' (they were hugging each other >.<). after further claims of being a 'lesbo couple', my oliphant got even more 'jealous' (coz no one invited her >.<), stomp her tiny foot, cock her hips while 'glaring' at the offending 'couple' (who 'strangely' looked indifferent >.<). she looked so 'angry' but adorable then and i would always remember that sight with a smile on my lips. the 'couple' finally relented and had a group hug with all the girls in, squeezing flowerger to a pulp. *grins* it seemed like a really long time since i saw them hugging each other, the last time being back in wollongong, i think. anyway, it sure represented our mood and the good time that we were having.

went for sheesha thereafter at arab street with judess leading the way (she's 'expert' already, being there so many times :p). after much cajoling and persuasion, mummy's girl: flowerger decided to stay with us a bit longer. as we continued to chat and talk crap till 2ish, flowerger showed further signs of her 'closet lesbian' nature by displaying her matching keychains and handphones with rosie (be afraid, pinkys, be very afraid >.<). being past her bedtime, flowerger had a headache and left for home ealier in a mercedes cab (think she must be sssooo happy to go home in a mercedes sia >.<). my oliphant then gave roy, judess and edmund a lift home, travelling nearly round the whole singapore. with edmund in telok balang (near World Trade Centre), yishun-boy roy, judess in hougang, my house in tanah merah, my oliphant must have had a tiring night driving all of us before heading back to her home in clementi. much of the journey can be best described in the directional instructions 'just keep going straight'. >.<

i had a bbq with my relatives on sunday and my poor oliphant, who didn't sleep coz she didn't feel like doing so, join me after her work. my female cousins came with their boyfriends and my younger bro's girlfriend turned up as well. i caught a sight where my cousins and me with our partners feeding each other during the bbq dinner. it struck me how much we have grown over the years and i felt a sense of togetherness, which i rarely felt before among my extended family. i really hope that my 'generation' (meaning my cousins, brother etc etc) would be able to continue the tradition of getting together. my oliphant had to be bullied/shooed into bed after being caught napping on the sofa. played mahjong with my bro and cousins till the end before fetching my grandmother, uncle and oliphant home at the end of the night.

all in all, it was a good weekend. i had a great time and thanks to flowerger for organising it (yah lah yah lah flowerger, i'm thanking you, i'm not all that shameless, y'know >.<). it was good and comforting to see all of us together and catching up on each other's lives. although there were occasional times where i could see a bored expression on some of us, i think i can safely say that we had enjoyed ourselves. 2005 is coming to a close and a brand new year looms on the horizon. looking back, it has been good year and i wonder what fortunes the next year will bring. ah well, let tomorrow worry for itself for each day has enough troubles of its own. oh yah, Merry Christmas to all of ya! :)

Friends and Time

Yesterday, i re-enrolled for my last session in my BE(Mechanical). 2006. has it been that long? have i really spent that long a period in Oz? the last time i checked, it was only 2002 when i enrolled for the first time, being introduced to Flowerger and Caffeine Addict, looking around Australia and the University with wide-eyed wonder, probably acting and looking like an idiot and suaw-ku. of coz, things haven't changed much since. i still meet up with flowerger and caffeine addict (to their eternal regret >.<), no longer look around with wide-eyed wonder, but with dull-eyed interest and i'm still an idiot (i'm sure flowerger will agree vehemently on this >.<).

has it really been three and half years since then? darn... where does time go? an answer to my own question: either in front of us, or behind us, depending on how you look at it. see? i'm still behaving like an idiot, answering my own questions (i can see flowerger nodding her head so violently it looks like its gonna fall off >.<)

but seriously, i can't believe it has been close to four years that i've spent in Oz and knowing all of my friends. in six months, i will graduate (hopefully, and barring any unforeseen circumstances *trying to grab some wood to touch*) and join the workforce (better term for 'rat-race'). sheesh. now i wish i can continue studying. i'm absolutely dreading, detesting and not looking forward to waking up early every morning. (-.-)

it has been a good three and a half years and it was my pleasure and honour to meet all of you (yes yes, you too, flowerger, and stop trying to look over your shoulder!). hugs (hugs only, judess, no kisses, not even under a mistletoe :p) and thanks for putting up with me, my inital and presently-sometimes-relapsing kan-chiong-ness, my blurness and idiot-ness (all right all right, flowerger and pinkys, stop beating it to the ground, dammit! >.<). i'm grateful for knowing all of you and most especially, my oling oliphant. i count those years and the up-coming ones as the happiest time of my life. i've found the wife of my heart and friends who will be there when i need them (hopefully! >.<).

all right. now that we've gotten that out of the way, do i get bigger christmas presents/angbaos? *grins* ok, i better run. (i can see flowerger leading pinkys, judess and the others, advancing on me with grim faces, now scrabbling and running for my life).

*throwing a shout while racing away* see ya guys tomorrow at gathering! :)

Money is the root of all evil. And yet...

A few weeks back on my way to work, my mother was talking to me as i drove (actually 'nagging' would come closer >.<). she was discussing her worry about my younger bro's girlfriend who has had a brain tumor removed before and may experience a relapse. my uncle (who is my mother's elder brother) has a wife, who currently has a second-stage cancer. my mother's point was this: that although it is our lives and our choice on who we choose as our mate, it is ultimately fate that decides everything. therefore on that point, my mother was worried that the impact of any relapse on my brother's girlfriend, will affect my brother's life and force him to adopt a less 'successful' life, not unlike my before-mentioned uncle who has owns a factory and could have more 'successful' if not for his wife. at that point of time, i mentally scorn and dismiss her view. i thought to myself: what about love? is love not more important that being 'successful'? love would prevail against all odds and is foremost, in my opinion.

last friday, i had to attend a funeral on my parents' behalf. one of my grandmother's god-sister died and i drove there with my grandmother, uncle (another one of my mother's younger brother, not the before-mentioned one) and aunt (my mother's elder sister). being a representative of my parents and not being particularly close to the deceased (i only see her during chinese new year), most of my time was spend sitting with my mouth closed, eyes and ears open. some of my mother's family (meaning my uncles and aunts) attended and i could seriously picture how they were when my uncles and aunts were young. one of my aunts initally looked like she was going to unleash the water-works ('cry' for the ignoramus >.<), but looked better after much chatting. i talked with my uncle most of time and answered the occasional usual qustions thrown at me by the other relatives (like what i'm studying and what year i'm in >.<). my uncle half-jokingly suggested that i become a plumber so as to better my chances of obtaining the australian PR, and to earn better money. i rebutted his claim and said that to do so would waste my time and expenses of the four years of university education. the following is more or less the conversation after:

uncle: yes yes. i'm not saying that you are wasting your time in university. all i'm saying is that you should keep an open mind when you look for your job.
me: then you could have said it better, isn't it? for example, you could have asked me first what i liked to do, and then suggested that i do that, instead of suggesting plumbing.
(momentary pause for a second or so)
uncle: i think you and i are different. for me, i would do anything and any job, so long as i survive. and you focus on what you like to do instead. i think its because of the times that i lived in. we were really poor when young and our priority was survival. your priority is liking what you do. granted, liking what you do is important as your work would become easier. but given me a choice, i would rather do any job, go through life and at the end of it, say to myself: hey, i survived. i fed and supported my family. thats whats important.

for a moment, i sat there stunned. i have heard of the often debatable issue on whether money is everything, and i've always sided the view that money is NOT everything. but after those chats with my mother and uncle, i start to wonder otherwise. is the drive and ambition is to have more money, that sinful and wrong? if the reason behind doing so, is to survive and support the family, would that make it wrong as well? we are talking about SURVIVAL: the basic and instinctive human nature to kick and strain for your life. the base emotion that all animals have and drives them to struggle in a hunter's trap and net, to run/fly/swim their fastest when pursued by a predator. the willingness in everyone to take on, fight and battle anyone who threatens.

i truly wonder now...

What?

I think there is a guardian angel for each and every one of us. they protect us from certain death, danger and possible dismemberment. and depending on you, your guardian angel might be working overtime, slacking, having a holiday or working part-time. kinda like a muse, really.

last night, i thank my guardian angel for saving my sorry ass a few times. and i dun think this is the first time either. thinking back on my life, there were any number of times, including tonight, that i had close shaves.

perhaps i should start making offerings to my guardian angel. hhmm...

Who?

"Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. and some people just act on any whim that enters their heads.

I pragmatically turn my whims into principles." - Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

Why?

There are times when you hear certain stories abt things happening to others, you think to yourself: hey, it happened to 'other people', not me. but when it happens to you, all of a sudden you become the 'other people', and your illusion of life gets stripped away.

your head and emotions are in a whirl, somehow trying to disbelieve the news but the stark and naked truth stares at you point-blank. you start thinking if you should re-assess your life's goal and future. you stare at a distance, stoning and your heart grows heavier with depair.

somehow, life has become less certain after all.