War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Six

"The rest of my body was even more distressing. Mr shoulders and back were rounded with fat, to say nothing of my chest and belly. My gut was more than a paunch; it was starting to hang. My thighs were heavy. Even my calves and ankles were swollen."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

For the past few weeks, i have been meaning to whip my ass into shape. The last time i actually exercised was before my reservist. And that was way back in November of last year.

Cancer Horoscope
Go to:Yesterday | Tomorrow
Jason,
The more you try to embellish, the more obvious it will be to everyone else that you don't really know what you're talking about. It is time to focus more of your time on improving your health. If you aren't currently on an exercise program, now is a great time to start. You may have to seek out medical advice.

So today, even Facebook was urging me to exercise. What can you do when a sign from above indicates that your body is seriously lacking, and your IPPT is approaching with the danger and speed of a charging bull?

In the afternoon, i tried to take a nap before embarking on my resolution. But somehow, i woke up after only a few minutes. My body seemed to anticipate the torture, and was too tensed for sleep. As the time approached, i did my warm ups and proceeded to embrace the punishment.

"Strangely, with the guilt came an odd relief. I'd finally found a cause for what had befallen me, and it was myself.
Suddenly, I felt I had control again.
Before, when I'd been unable to admit I'd been doing anything wrong, the fat had seemed like a curse, something that had befallen me, an effect with no cause. I thought of how I'd wanted to blame the plague and shook my head at myself."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

As i jogged at my own pace, i marveled at how my body could still remember the steady jogging pace and keep up with it. As far as i know, abstaining for exercise for more than three months will cause your body to slack off and lose its fitness. Even as i approach my first mental marker and stretch my legs, my body coped accordingly.

However, the months of being couch-potato finally took its toll at my second mental marker. As i open my stride again, my fitness was found wanting. Before i had even reached my turn-around point, my legs were screeching in protest and lungs heaving unsteadily. Well, this is what you get when you put off exercise for too long, i thought. Gritting my teeth and refusing to give in, i pushed my body till i reached the turn-around point.

"With determination strong in me, I returned to the afternoon's work and drove myself relentlessly. I raised and broke new blisters on my hands, and didn't care.
I rejoiced at how my back and shoulder ached as i punished my recalcitrant body with hard work and deprivation. I thrust my hunger pangs out of my mind and toiled on.
Towards the end of the day's work, my legs literally shook with fatigue, but i felt proud of myself. I was in charge. I was changing myself"
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

As i slowly jogged back, my legs were grumbling and complaining at the abuse and strain. Joggers, roller-bladers and cyclists frequently over-took me. Even an occasional toddler with his tiny tricycle could out-pace a surprised me. Depressing is an understatement to describe my feelings at that point.

As i passed the army camp and made my way to the fitness corner, a song broke out to signify the flag-lowering. My spirits lifted briefly, for it meant that i was doing almost as well as i did in the past. Meanwhile, an internal argument was taking place in my mind:

Lazy Me: I'm tired. And this is the first in a long time since we exercise. Can't we walk to the fitness corner?
Determined Me: Oh c'mon. Its not that far away. See? Once we turn that corner there, we've reached our destination.
Lazy Me: But our body has yet to adapt to the exercise. Surely such a sudden strain is not good?
Determined Me: Oh all right. We can walk. But only after we turn at that corner.
Lazy Me: *grumble grumble* Oh ok.
When i reached that corner,
Determined Me: Oh well, since we are here, we might as well jog all the way to the fitness corner.
Lazy Me: You lied! You said we could walk!
Determined Me: Yes, i lied. Look, its only a couple of meters away. Jogging that short distance isn't gonna kill us. We haven't collapsed and died from fatigue so far, so there is no reason why an additional short distance will kill us.
Lazy Me: I hate you.
Determined Me: Yeah, whatever. You will still listen to me, in the end.

And so, i reached the fitness corner and proceeded to do my pull-ups. Again, the months of being a couch-potato took its toll. I barely did seven pull-ups, and my soft palms peeled with traces of blood. I wanted to do my sit-ups, but a couple of kids were playing soccer. This time, i gave in to Lazy Me and walked home with a wet, salt-encrusted, smelly singlet.

"Discipline should have come from within a man. You should have learned it by now. But as you have not, I will impose it upon you, as if you were a spoiled child."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

What about the HOUSE? What ABOUT the house?

I don't think my fellow architects will quite agree with the negative bonus in safety. Heh. :)

The defendant petitions the court for a new trial on the grounds that his lawyer is incompetent.

"The path of power is a path of turns within turns"
- "Magician" by Raymond E Feist

The Game is one of the many intricacies and mysteries of life.

Like how putting kiwi on your shoes will make it shine.

Like how toast pops out after you put bread into the toaster.

Like how Mas Selamat managed to escape from prison.

"We sit upon this wooden palisade, leaning against frozen stones, in this miserable cold, surrounded by enemies, hours away from certain death, on a world not our own, and what do we do? We discuss politics back home."
- "Honoured Enemy" by Ramond E Feist & William Forstchen

The Game encompasses the working life. It is a practice. A good player of The Game is able to protect the company and his/her job. He/she will be able to manipulate and weave the complicated threads of politics into an shield for protection. The same threads could also be used to forge a double-edged sword, which can both harm and protect a working relationship.

"Did connections and marriages actually carry that much political and social weight, I wondered, and then instantly knew that they did."
- "Forest Mage" by Robin Hobb

I dislike The Game. I accept and understand that it is necessary and vital in working life, but i just don't like it. Which is why i am, and forever will be, a poor player in The Game, and that i was told that i must learn how to play The Game as fast as possible.

When it comes to the crunch time, the final results of The Game will be revealed. It will show, segregate, sift and differentiate the good players from the bad. When it comes to the crunch time, everyone will be covering their own backs. When it comes to the crunch time, teamwork goes out of the window.

And i think that is the main reason why i dislike The Game.

Your simian countenance suggests a heritage unusually rich in species diversity.

I would like to say this.

I do yearn for female company. I do yearn for that someone special. I want to love someone with all my heart. I want to shower her with presents, gifts and love. I want to hold her in my arms and protect her from anything bad. I want to make that special someone happy.

However, i am under no illusions of myself.

I am fugly. I am fat. My character is harsh, rude and uncouth. I am inconsiderate and impatient.

It would take a brave girl to love me, if there are any willing in the first place. My industry is a male-dominated one. My work has occupied so much of my time, but simply because there is nothing left in my life (except perhaps the weekly mahjong sessions with my close friends *grins*). So i throw all my energy into my work.

I will not quit my work, simply because of my lack of love life and social interactions.

What will be, will be. If God or fate decrees that i shall meet that special someone, then so shall it be. If God or fate decrees that i shall remain single, then so shall it be.

Make no mistake. I look forward to the day when i shall meet that special someone. However, if that day does not come, i shall not die from the lack thereof.

Getting loads of loot is a very spiritual experience for me.

Secret Egg!! You have found one (bunny) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat. You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

I didn't even know there were Secret Eggs. :p

Happy Easter, everyone.

---

Update: 18/03/08

W00t! Two more in a single day! :D

Secret Egg!! You have found one (lucky) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat. You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

Secret Egg!! You have found one (leppit) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat. You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

Update: 19/03/08
Another one to the collection. Hhhmmm... Where is the Sparkle Egg that i've seen around? :)

Secret Egg!! You have found one (bunny) Egg

How amazingly lucky - you found a Secret Egg. Because finding a Secret Egg is such a special treat, You have also received this Egg as a Decoration, even though you have already taken home two eggs today. Visit the (fluff)Editor to place this Egg in your Habitat.You have also received one Egg Hunt Point, which can be traded in at the Easter Shoppe for prizes or munny.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

Last Friday, while waiting for the room to clear so that we can have our meeting...

X: *laughs* Oh, come on. You cannot keep talking in dollars and cents.

Me: Oh please. Do you not talk about dollars and cents?

---

Today, while talking to a supplier...

Y: We hope that you can look past the dollars and cents.

Me: I agree. I would also like to look past the dollars and cents, but the fact of the matter is that it still matters.

---

If you think that dollars and cents do not matter in this world, then you are surely too naive. Yes, happiness and health is more important than wealth. But let us be realistic here: money still matters.

Our frequent complaint among ourselves in our company:

If you don't have money, then don't build.

Do you honestly believe that the cilent would disregard the project cost?

I think not.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I saw this quite some time ago on a Facebook application's discussion board. Enjoy. :)

You know you are stressed if...

1. Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
2. You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.
3. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
4. The Sun is too loud.
5. Trees begin chasing you.
6. You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
7. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of expresso.
8. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
9. You can hear mimes.
10. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
11. Things become "Very Clear".
12. You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
13. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
14. You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
15. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.
16. You keep yelling "Stop Touching Me!!!" even though you are the only one in the room.
17. Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
18. You and Reality file for divorce.
19. You can skip without a rope.
20. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
21. You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
22. You can travel without moving.
23. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
24. You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
25. You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
26. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before...
27. Losing your mind was OK, but when the voices in your head quitted, it was like losing your best friend.

Here I am, happy and content. But not euphoric. So now I’m no longer content. I’m unhappy. My day is ruined. I need to stop thinking while I’m ahead.

For all those out there who read my blog because of my amusing and happy posts:

If there are any in the first place.

I'm really sorry.

I have not been able to produce any posts which are the reasons for you coming here.

This is because there is a cursed block on my table. It constantly interferes with my vision, so i can't concentrate.

Somehow, i have to get around this writer's block. Hhhmm...

Life is full of precluded possibilities.

There are times when you stand at the crossroads in life and peer at the two paths in front of you.

The first path continues along your current walkway. Stable and well-trod. The second path forks out away from the current walkway. Unknown and mysterious.

As you peer ahead at the second path, the thick fog of possibility shrouds your vision. You can barely see a few meters into the second path.

However, as you stare longer, you begin to see the rewards and dreams that you have been waiting for. You start to get excited because the second path offers a lot more than the first path and is the one that you have looking for.

However, as you stare longer, you start to wonder if you were just imagining things. Perhaps those rewards and dreams aren't really there. Perhaps the second path isn't there at all. Perhaps the patrolling demons of failure and despair are waiting to tear you apart the minute you step foot onto the second path.

As you stand there and wrestle with your indecision, time flows on. You have to make a decision, one way or another.

Question is, which path do you take?

The more indecisive I am, the faster things get decided.

Work is a lot like having a run or jog.

When you get started, you find it difficult to get going. Lethargy sets in. You start wishing for your nice little warm bed to lie in.

You start your morning off in the office. Lethargy sets in. You laze around, not really wanting to start work.

Then, when you're all fired up and going, you just keep going and going. Your legs have a life of their own, carrying your body further and further. Time is always your enemy. There are always competitors and mind games to battle.

As the day progresses, you get your stuff out and keep doing your work. Your brain starts thinking faster and faster about the things you need to do, the emails you need to send out, the people you need to call. Time is always your enemy. There are always competitors and political games to battle.

When you are nearing the finishing line, your adrenaline steps in and pushes your body to the limit. You gasp for breath, but keep sprinting for the finishing line because it signifies the end.

On your last few days before your annual leave, you start clearing your work. On the very last day, you work really really late because you can sleep in and relax the next day. Your body is screaming for rest and food, but your brain keeps you going, keeps you thinking, keeps you working.

Then you stop suddenly, and your body can't react fast enough to cool your body down. You walk around, trying to relax all the tense muscles and catch your breath back.

On the first day of your leave, although you don't need to work, you wake up early as usual. You surf around, pace around, walk around. Trying to find things to do, things to occupy your restless mind, things to relax your mood.

When you try to run again, the momentum is lost and you have to build it up again. Rinse and repeat. The cycle comes in a full circle.

When you come back from your annual leave, you lost the momentum for work. You have to build up the mindset again. Rinse and repeat. The cycle comes in a full circle.

My “Plan A’s” are great. But my “Plan B’s” leave a lot to be desired.

The time now is 1.30am in the morning.

I have been tossing and turning, but i can't sleep. Earlier tonight, i felt sleepy. So i took a quick nap and woke up at 12.30am. Seeing that i was awake anyway, i logged onto Facebook for a quick check. Since then, i have not been able to get back to sleep, no matter how much i've tried.

-----
Checklist For A Good Night's Sleep:
1. Comfy pillow? Check.
2. Comfy quilt? Check.
3. New mattress for the bed? Check.
4. Favourite sleeping position? Check.
5. Windows open for cool night breeze? *silence*
-----

I'm turning on the stupid air-condition. -.-

The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

- "Teardrops On My Guitar" by Taylor Swift

Exercise is a lot more gratifying if you count what it feels like.

Number of flight of stairs to reach nth storey
= (n-1) x 2
First Example: To get to the 2nd storey of any building via manual labour from the 1st storey, one would have to climb two flight of stairs.
Second Example: To get to the 3rd storey of any building from the 1st storey, one would have to climb four flight of stairs.

So today started out like any other day. Dressed in a dark grey long-sleeve shirt with my customary black pants, i walked to the office from the train station. And because its an old building, there is no lift. So i climbed the stairs to the office at the 5th storey.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= (5-1) x 2
= 8

Before i could even sit on my chair, my boss intercom-ed me and i was asked to participate in a discussion. So i climbed down to the 4th storey where the conference room is.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 8 + {[(5-1) x 2 ] - [(4 - 1) x 2]}
= 8 + (8 - 6)
= 10

During the discussion, my boss invited me and my colleagues to join him in an inspection of a newly constructed building. Since its a chance to learn more, i went along with the rest of my colleagues. We drove there.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 10 + [(4 - 1) x 2]
= 10 + 6
= 16

When we reached there, we were told that the lift wasn't ready yet. Since our boss suggested that we start our inspection from the top floor down, we climbed to the flat roof which is designated as the 8th storey.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 16 + [(8 - 1) x 2]
= 16 + 14
= 30

Having inspected the top floor to our satisfaction, we slowly made our way down while inspecting every floor.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 30 + [(8 - 1) x 2]
= 30 + 14
= 44

After my boss gave his debrief and drove us back, we went back to the office to put our stuff down.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 44 + [(5 - 1) x 2]
= 44 + 8
= 52

After that, we went for lunch.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 52 + [(5 - 1) x 2]
= 52 + 8
= 60

After lunch, we headed back to the office.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 60 + [(5 - 1) x 2]
= 60 + 8
= 68

While doing my work, i discussed an important matter with someone over the phone. Since i'm really busy these days and forgetful due to work, i thought it best to settle the matter now. This meant that i had to travel to his office.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 68 + [(5 - 1) x 2]
= 68 + 8
= 74

Joy of joys! His office has a lift!

After settling the matter, i headed back to office.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed so far
= 74 + [(5 - 1) x 2]
= 74 + 8
= 82

I went home at 7pm.

Total number of flight of stairs climbed for today
= 82 + [(5 - 1) x 2]
= 82 + 8
= 90

... ... (-.-)

My dark grey shirt has been wet from my perspiration so many times and dried so many times, that i think its no longer black.

... ...

Its probably white now, due to the 1000 tons of salt deposits from my umpteen-dried-up-perspiration.

I refuse to be victimised by notions of virtuous behaviour.

You know you've played too much Facebook applications such as Warbook and Battle-Stations when...

1. You are nervous all day because you've gained too much land too quickly on Warbook and worry about others hitting you because your Defense Per Acre (DPA) has reduced.
2. You check your status on Warbook and Battle-Stations when you wake up in the morning. And again when you reach home. And again every two/three hours while you're home.
3. You check your status on Warbook and Battle-Stations after getting home from mahjong at 3am in morning and don't go to sleep till 5am.
4. While on the way home in a taxi/bus/train, you mentally plan out your moves and calculate your defense and attack.
   
5. You jump up and down in elation when you defend successfully against some idiot on Battle-Stations because your hero gains experience to level up and that you can buy a better ship and fit it out with better equipment.
   
6. You laugh and jeer when you defend successfully against some idiot on Warbook because he/she underestimated you and your hero gains experience to level up.
7. You get angry because some idiot on Warbook hits you for 300 acres of land, and then you stare at disbelief when you see the size of his army, and then feel extremely good when you retaliate for 1000 acres of land.

Man. I need help. Fast. (-.-)

War-On-Flab: D-Day Minus Five

On the first weekend of 2008, i decided to get my ass moving into some semblance of exercise.

But guess what?

It rained.

*shrugs*

What can you do when the circumstances are against your will?

*goes back to being a couch-potato*

I don’t care about being accepted. I’d settle for being ignored.

"Eh. Very long time never see you leh. Think got five years leh."

"Really? Has it been that long?"

-----

"Eh. Join in lah. Don't every time 'spectator' leh."

-----

Good morning my friend. I just want to say so nice to see you last night. Thanks for the dedication you have shown. 21SC forever!

Dedication? What dedication? I'm prob the least dedicated. I've been missing for so long you guys prob think i was dead. :D
Are you planning the flight details? I forgot to tell you that i'll settle my flight ticket from Singapore to Australia, but i'll fly back to Singapore with you guys.

Haha. Nonetheless, we welcome all who replies calls and turns up. We all go through cycles in life right?

-----

Sometimes its good to see old friends and find that they have rarely changed. It brings a sense of continuity, and a feeling of nostalgia and familiarity.

It has been ten (10) years since we known each other. I'm ashamed to say that i was extremely childish, naive and brash. I'll give everything in the world to change my past actions and deeds.

I'm glad that you guys greeted me last night as a friend and not as a stranger.

I'm glad that you guys gave me another chance to show how much i've changed.

I'm glad that i caught up with you guys last night.

Thank you.

It’s always shocking to see one’s existence reduced to a blurb.

There are times when i simply wish i could re-program my life, or my emotions, or my brain.

As i sat there last night, a bout of depression hit me with the force of a thousand battering rams. I simply can't explain how and why did it hit me. I felt heavy-hearted, stoned and listless. The company of my good friends, playing mahjong and our usual jests, teases and chattering couldn't raise me from my stupor.

If i was in a Harry Potter novel, i would have said that a Dementor had found me and was sucking all my happiness and energy away.

Mentally, i shook myself to try and rid of the depression and listlessness. But it wouldn't go away. It clung onto me, like a lice on a stray dog.

And you know what?

Its bloody frustrating.

Its frustrating to know that your emotions that is not within your control and illogical in nature. Its frustrating to know that your feelings are controlling your mood and you can't do a single thing about it. Its frustrating to know that whatever you do, you can't change how you feel.

I tried to sleep it off, thinking my body was tired and needed the rest.

I tried doing menial work to take my mind off things. I cleared my last box of junk that had remain untouched since i came back from studying in Australia. I put up my new magazine rack which i bought from Muji.

I tried eating my lunch, thinking that maybe i needed food to cheer myself up.

I tried playing games on Facebook to get my brain distracted.

And you know what?

All that didn't work. The feeling of heavy-hearted and listless remains.

What is wrong with me?!

Happy New Year, everyone.

Be careful, or be roadkill!

Today, while i was waiting at a major junction at Bishan, i felt a cold, hard stare focusing at me.

I looked across.

Its white body was sitting low and menacing on the road. Its body shape tensed, like a puma ready to pounce. Its hostile stare continued to bore through my entire being, challenging every car on the road.

It was a white Audi R8, the latest super-car from the German manufacturer.

"Driving most super-cars is like trying to man-handle a cow up the backstage. This... is like smearing honey into Keira Knightly."
"I'm um... I'm completely sold. As far as i'm concerned, this car is almost without fault. It is absolutely stunning."
- Jeremy Clarkson in "Top Gear" Season 10 Episode 2

Later at a minor junction in Ang Mo Kio, i waited for the green light. When it came, i heard the smooth loud purr on my right. There was no mistaking the audio pleasure.

A shining and gleaming prancing horse adorned its back, pronouncing its breeding proudly. With a smooth flowing body and heritage glowing through the chasis and metalwork, it was a beauty.

It was a light blue Ferrari. As i didn't see the front, my guess is that it was a F430.

"So the handling is like the engine: brilliant. And so are the brakes, and so is the steering, and so is comfort, and so is the quality."
"Even the driving position is perfect. In fact, i'm struggling to think of anything wrong with this thing."
- Jeremy Clarkson in "Top Gear" Season 6 Episode 8

I want both cars for my Christmas present. :D

-----

Update:
24/12/07
As i looked across the street, something catches my eye. From the front, it looked like an ordinary Lamborghini Murcielago.

Until i admired its back.

A single great big exhaust stared right back at me. Its engine glass cover displayed the full glory of its sleeping giant. The giant oil cooling aperture on its left winked at me, as i gaped in wonder.

It was an orange Lamborghini Murcielago LP640.

"You get 500 carbon dioxides and 640 brake horsepower. Thats more than you get from a Porsche Carrera GT or a McClaren Mercedes SLR! Its more than you get from a Zonda!"
"The result is spectacular. This is not a light car, but my god its fast. Properly. Savagely fast."
- Jeremy Clarkson in "Top Gear" Season 9 Episode 5

And what better way to celebrate a religious holiday than with a month of frenzied consumerism?

Have you ever wondered how strangely our minds work? There seems to be a small part of us that defies logic, that defies all reasonings and theories, that goes against all common sense.

Even if we know that something is bad for us, we still continue doing it. Even if we know and reason to ourselves that its wrong, our minds still involuntary stray to the left path and not the right one.

No, its not curiosity nor the lack of discipline. Neither is it the peer pressure nor the circumstances which we are in.

For example.

We know that smoking is bad for us and for our health. But yet, we still continue to smoke.

We know that some of our friends don't like us to say certain things or do certain things. But yet, we still continue in saying it or doing it.

We know that by doing certain things, we will get into trouble. But yet, we still continue to do them.

We know that this festive season is also the period where people tend to get depressed and lonely. But yet, we still continue to feel melancholy and alone.

We know that a failed relationship was not our fault, nor due to us. But yet, we still continue to wonder if we could have done something so that it wouldn't have failed.

Our minds are truly strange. No matter how convinced we are in something, we still tend to do/think otherwise.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

How many boards would the Mongols hoard, if the Mongol hordes got bored?

Right. I knew i would get something like that. Why can't i have something nice/fierce/noble like a lion or tiger? But oh no. I got a monkey instead. Anyone wanna share some peanuts?

The world is probably funnier to people who don’t live here.

Great. I just remembered that i need to do some testing at a school. I'm supposed to be there at 6pm, i'm meeting my friends at 7pm and the time now is 6.30pm. Guess i better catch a cab there and see i can do the testing quickly.

Taxi Fare from Office to the School = $15.00
My reaction when i found out that the school was closed and that i couldn't do the testing = Priceless

Fine. Since i'm nearby, i might as well go home and see if i can use the car and drive to Vivocity.

Taxi Fare from the School to Home = $8.00
My reaction when i found out that no one was home and the car not present = Priceless

Fine. Since i'm in a cab anyway, i guess i'll go straight to Vivocity. Hopefully i still can catch my friends for dinner.

Taxi Fare from Home to Vivocity = $13.00
My reaction when i found out that my friends hadn't even decided on the dinner venue = Priceless

Sighz...

This is going to be a very long week. (-.-)

-----

Update:
Mela's Day
Taxi fare to Court: $4.00
My reaction when I find out that my only file for today is actually for Friday: Priceless

Who’d have thought disgust would be inflationary?

As of yesterday, in addition to my previous title of

Osama-bin-Ensui,
The-One-Who-Started-The-Fire,
Instigator of all Conspiracy Theories,
Bringer of Aids and Ebola and Worldwide Epidemics and All Other Necessary Bad Things To Effect a Complete and Satisfactory Infamy,

I have been given another title of

Chief-Of-Pia-Sai-But-Doesn't-Have-Any-Subordinates,
aka Chief-of-Carrying-Shit,
Brick-Layer

Apparently, my company of pia-sai is ISO certified, albeit its the environment one not the quality one. So i guess i can carry shit in a way that is less harmful to the earth, but give shitty service.

And because my company of pia-sai is ISO certified, i have a Quality Manual somewhere, which states the necessary methods and procedures. I just have to find it somewhere *rummages around*.

... ...

...

Oh, c'mon. I'm busy as it is, trying to spread all the diseases and Ebola and Aids and conspiracy theories. Now i have to carry shit as well?

And the worse thing is, i don't even have any subordinates!

I mean, this must be the first time in the whole of human history, that there is a title of Chief-of-somethingorother but. Doesn't. Have. Any. Subordinates!

My friends have expressed their utmost confidence in my ability to multi-task and expect me to pass through with flying colors. This is despite the fact that they have:

1. scolded me for not doing my job of pia-sai properly,
   
2. scolded me for not doing my job of pia-sai at the right time,
3. abusing me by over-loading my current workload,
   
4. refusing to give me any due compensation, and
   
5. ignoring me

Where is my union?! I want to comprain! I refuse to work until my working conditions are better!

Sighz...

Life, as me, sure is difficult sometimes. (-.-)

Do you think love is nothing but a biochemical reaction designed to make sure our genes get passed on?

“In that last dance of chances
I shall partner you no more.
I shall watch another turn you
As you move across the floor.

In that last dance of chances
When I bid your life goodbye
I will hope she treats you kindly.
I will hope you learn to fly.

In that last dance of chances
When I know you’ll not be mine
I will let you go with longing
And the hope that you’ll be fine

In that last dance of chances
We shall know each other’s minds.
We will part with our regrets
When the tie no longer binds”

- “Fool’s Fate” by Robin Hobb

How can something seem so plausible at the time and so idiotic in retrospect?

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT bring my two good friends to see any sort of masculine movie such as 300 or - just last night - Beowulf.

Why?

The reaction after the movie will be most infuriating and frustrating and exasperating.

-----

Who am i?
I AM BEOWULF!!!

Can we please decide on where we shall go next?
I AM BEOWULF!!!

While in the car, waiting at the lights...
Eh. How come those kids are crossing the lights? Oh yeah, the lights are red. I wanted to roll down the window and shout "I AM BEOWULF!!!"

While parking the car...
Eh, there is a couple in the car next to us. Lets knock on their window and shout "I AM BEOWULF!!!"

Who wrote Jurassic Park?
I AM BEOWULF!!!

After signing onto MSN...
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF!!!!
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: nah beiz....
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: seven morning eight morning shout i am beowulf
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: go back to sleep lah.
Roy_Leng says: i juz woke up
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: go back to sleep.
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF.... I DO NOT SLEEP!!

<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: why are you so crappy? because you just wake up issit?
Roy_Leng says: yep
Roy_Leng says: coz....
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF!!!!!
<engineer>Jason</engineer> says: you are so dead.
Roy_Leng says: yr treats do not frighten me....
Roy_Leng says: I have slain sea monsters, rip off the heart of the dragon....
Roy_Leng says: and...
Roy_Leng says: I AM BEOWULF!!!
-----

For a nominal sum, i'll happily rip their hearts/throats out to keep them silent. (-.-)

Two part slush, one part solid ice. One part hard-packed snow, a dash of assorted debris. Sculpt into sphere, & serve at high velocity without warning

After serving the country for almost three weeks in the flies-kangaroo-wallaby infested land of Down Under, there are a few ideas which i've thought and encountered.

-----

Firstly, when serving the country, we men automatically degrade our language. We start to curse and swear with no discrimination. We use vulgarities like punctuations. Its almost as if the restraints of courtesy and manners have been unleashed and our true selves appear. As one of my officers remarked, "Army without swearing, just doesn't seem right. It just doesn't seem to work."


Secondly, when serving the country, we men automatically turn horny. Its probably due to the all-guys environment. Whenever a female is in our vicinity, provided she's not fugly moderately looking, we start behaving like wolves eying a lone sheep or lamb. It doesn't matter whether we're attached or married, we will start mentally undressing leering admiring the woman. FHM and Maxim magazines are always available in abundance, and are perused with wide eyes and bated breaths. They are usually returned to the disgusted owner in a condition so soggy and worn out that it makes you wonder what your friends have done with them.


Thirdly, after being outfield for approximately 7 days, we men can go a little crazy. One fine example was one of my officers. He was out laying obstacles at a junction for our enemies and planned to attack them from behind. Our operations/planning officer asked him what kind of name he wanted for this operation. His response? "Operation gan-ka-cheng", literally translated as "Operation Poke-Backside" or for the more civilised/educated/learned mind, "Operation Sodomy". For his efforts and the hilarious operation name, he took down a mine-clearing team and a tank.


Fourth. Active servicemen (those who are serving their customary two years of service) are so gullible.
First example - We managed to capture a grand total of 14 numbers of recce/scouts, with four captured by our unit. How? Here is what happened:
Enemy Recce: *seeing one of our men* Eh. I can't seem to find Tango Zero Eight.
Our man: *thinks quickly* Eh. I can't find it also leh.
Enemy Recce: Which unit you from, by the way?
Our man: *names their allied unit* C'mon. I saw something over there.
Our man: *walks to our vehicle, holding the enemy recce* Sir, caught him already.
After capturing two recces, our officer sits down with them in front of the vehicle, brings out some beer and starts chatting with them casually. After some time, the third recce came out, surrendered himself and joins in the conversation. After some time, the fourth recce came out and surrendered himself. Four recces/scouts caught. All without breaking a sweat. :D
Second example - We were caught behind the enemy lines because we were slacking and sleeping off. After much thinking, our officer decided that we will try and rejoin our main force. We then proceeded to remove any traces that would identify us and drove as casually as we could. We passed by our enemy troops and tanks, behaving like we knew what we were doing. Not a single person stopped us to verify our identification or our unit. We managed to rejoin our forces in time. :D


Fifth. There is different mindset when we men switch from civilian mode to reservist mode. When we are in civilian mode, our minds are mostly concentrated on work. Once we put on that uniform or enter the camp, we automatically go into reservist mode. Granted, we don't have to stress out about work but the mindset is completely different. Once we enter the camp, our responsibilities and job scope is very different. Its almost like wrenching out your civilian brain and transplanting an army brain into your head. The transition sometimes works seamlessly, but it always requires a great deal of adjustment.


-----

There. Now that i've managed to heave my lazy ass off the bed and onto the computer to post this, please excuse me while i heave my lazy ass back into slacking clearing my leave slowly change my mindset back into civilian mode.